2004/12/28

Everyone have a nice Christmas? 44,000 didn't.

As I was sitting at my PC on Christmas day, I had pretty much shut everything else out of my mind. My little one was up having the time of his life playing with new toys. My wife was helping her mother out with cooking. I was playing City of Heroes, feeling good about life. Basically, I had encapsulated myself into my own little world, family and friends.

So, when I finally read the news, my jaw dropped. Thousands killed by underwater earthquake-spawned tidal wave. THOUSANDS?!?!?! I know that many are with me by saying that thoughts and prayers go out to the victim's families and survivors. The total is now up to 44,000 people.

Florida had it rough this year. Three hurricanes were a lot. However, the loss of life was minimal. There was warning. People prepared. Technology is a beautiful thing.

There will always be those that are less fortunate than you. That is what the Christmas season is all about, helping those people. As I went to work on Monday, I saw the food collection bins full. Someone forgot to have them sent out for Christmas. The little things help, if you aren't too big to notice them.

2004/12/25

Merry Christmas

2004/12/24

Santa Claus is coming to town...

...to scare the shit out of your little ones. Thanks for the link, Rez.

Merry Christmas everyone.

2004/12/23

Ring...Ring...bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

With all of the business functions covered, I suppose it's no surprise that the next big thing in cell phones is to turn them into sex toys. In fact, one of the Wired News editors says it was a natural progression, considering everything else you can do with the dang things. (When I put him on the spot with "Would you buy one?" he responded, suavely, "I prefer specialized devices. I'm not an all-in-one kind of guy.")

First, there's the VibraExciter. This handsome device works in conjunction with any GSM cell phone, responding to incoming signals with a 30-second burst of buzz. It will respond to any phone call or text message within its 1-meter range -- whether that call is to your phone or to somebody else's. It could be just the thing to stave off ennui at a Hollywood club, or to spice up the New Year's Eve party in Times Square.

Dial an Orgasm claims to "put the sex into phone sex" with its two cell-phone attachments, a butterfly-shaped clitoral stimulator and a "phildo" (I'll let you figure that one out on your own). These come in four colors, fit many kinds of phones and offer different vibration patterns for different ring tones.

Of course, not everyone wants to carry around yet another piece of hardware. If we did, we'd have no need for all-in-one mobile devices in the first place. If you have a compatible phone, and your provider lets you download Java, you can install Purring Kitty software and take total control over your cell phone's vibrating battery, whenever you want. If you have a Nokia phone, you can try the similar Blissbox Vibi application.

Homemade-Sex-Toys.com offers instructions for using your cell phone as a vibrator even without hard or soft accoutrements. It also provides practical tips, such as use a condom if you plan to put the phone inside you -- or if you want to talk on the phone later.

Many of these devices were available in the United Kingdom long before they came to the United States, leading me to wonder just what, exactly, Americans are so afraid of. When Leander Kahney wrote about the launch of Purring Kitty in April 2003, the software developer worried that he wasn't going to be able to offer the product in the United States due to resistance from cell-phone service providers worried about carrying adult products. (And yet, the Yankee Group predicts a billion-dollar market for mobile porn by 2008. Go figure.)

Coming from someone that lives in the southern portion of the Bible belt (the main church downtown tends to run quite a bit of the political life around here), sex is such a repressed topic it is really sad. However, there are more and more "adult novelty" shops being built. The religious kooks are always out there protesting them. I think they are still living in the 70's, where the seedy part of town is the only place you could get your kicks. Now, the shopes can be found in flourishing neighborhoods, with your gated-community neighbor being a shopper.

People have to realize that the moral majority is a minority anymore. People do not like having other people tell them what they can and can't do with their own time, money, and lifestyle. Shopping at an adult store in no-way infringes on your right to not shop there. This isn't the 70's anymore, and the more cash a business can put into the community (instead of it going to places like Internet stores), the better!

2004/12/22

Belt-fed AR goodness!

The Shrike is a belt-fed, 5.56mm caliber, replacement upper for your AR-15 style rifle. It allows a quick change from regular rifle to squad weapon.

Check out these videos:

2004/12/21

I'm back. Miss me?

Well, back from a short vacation with the family. All in all, a good trip for the kids. Heck, anytime away from work is good time. How about a quick rundown of what happened over the long weekend?

Friday
Friday was the trip down. Left later than normal, but not bad considering that 4 of the 10 were about or under the age of 10. Goat rodeo anyone? Still, took back roads down to Orlando. The route was 17 to 19 to 27 to 192. Took a few wrong turns in small towns, but got there without too much wailing and gnashing of teeth. Ate at a pretty good BK in Eustis. My little one enjoyed the play area.

The big event was attending the Very Merry Christmas Party at Disney on Friday night. The Magic Kingdom opens from 7p to 12a for ticket event holders only. Well, it was an event, for sure. Sold out. Herded through Tomorrowland to get photos, then things kinda fell apart/slowed down. No one could decide on what to do. With a group of 10, especially with 3 kids that only want to ride, you can't please everyone, and you can't get everyone to go on everything! Coming to that realization took a good chunk of time out of our already limited schedule.

So, everyone is in a rush to hit "major" rides. My little one was a trooper. My knee wasn't. See, my father-in-law can't walk the park. My brother-in-law and myself took turns pushing him in a wheelchair. The motorized carts hadn't been recharged for the event. Anyways, pushing 425lbs through the Magic Kingdom can take a toll on someone with already bad knees.

Anyways, the hit of the evening was the Christmas parade. Got my little one up close and he loved it. Didn't want it to end. Alas, it did have to end.

Saturday
Pretty much a free day, with the only planned event being a dinner show called Dixie Stampede. More on that later.

Fart around for most of the day until the afternoon. Went with brother-in-law and girlfriend to Bass Pro Shops. Mega-store for hunters, fishers, and outdoors persons. Think something the size of a Sam's Warehouse Club, but all camo, tents, hunting supplies, boats, four-wheelers, etc. From there, hit the Nike outlet for new shoes. Feets feeling good, meet up at the Dixie Stampede.

Well, the Dixie Stampede show is put on by Dolly Parton. Country themed, North versus South, just shoot me now stuff. However, due to Christmas, it was North Pole vs South Pole. After being seated, we see the show (lots of animal acts...still have no idea how Ostrichs fit in with the Civil War, but I digress) and eat. The food was very good. Creamy veggie soup, cornish game hen, pork, potatoes, and more. Of course, you have to eat with your fingers, because that is what you do at these shows.

Sunday
Epcot. My favorite park....with a small group. With 9 of us (father-in-law opted out of the journey), it was again another mess of trying to please everyone with every ride. Well, I declared right up front that I was eating in Germany, and if people wanted to join in the buffet, come along. That got some attentions. No more pussyfooting. Anyways, saw some attractions, then made our way through the World Showcase. The kids only wanted rides, so they got bored and whiney. About lunch-time, I headed off to Germany. Brother-in-law and girlfriend, sensing I know what I'm talking about, come along. As the rest move on, we sit down to the best meal of the trip.

Brats, Knocks, Sausage, Kraut, Schnitzel, Spatzel, pork, and all the fine German deserts you could ask for. Took our time, had plenty of helpings, and even enjoyed the Christmas show by the German band. Hour later, we are stuffed and rested. Play catch up to the other group. However, the weather started getting cold. Real cold. I decide that I would take my little one back to the room, while the rest stay and hit a few attractions missed earlier.

Monday
Return home time. Reverse the route, again leaving late due to the kids. Quite ride back. Again, we stopped in Eustis. However, we stopped at a very new Sonny's BBQ. The Sonny's locally are very old, and they show it. However, the Eustis Sonny's was great. Large and bright, great staff, magnificent portions. All you can eat BBQ pork really sets the mood for the journey home. Especially not having to cook when you get there.

2004/12/16

When you are faced with the business end of a .50 caliber rifle...

... duck.

Not for the faint of heart...



The rifle was probably a Barrett.

Misc. Christmas Ramblins

Well, beings that vacation is approaching, I'm gonna do my normal Friday post today. However, I'm changing things up to add a Christmas theme.


Now, normally, I end this type of post with some sort of gun pr0n. However, this time, I'd like to post a link to an interesting event for all office workers alike. Office Bricolage. Basically, take whatever you have around the office and make it into a weapon. Submit it and get it rated. Here is a link to last year's entries. The winning entry was a claymore-type mine.

2004/12/14

The AD&D way to make a sammich!


The art of making the perfect sammich is a subjective one indeed. It differs based on one's upbringing, culture, tastes, wants, and desires. For example, being raised in the South by parents that loved Elvis, a fried peanut butter and banana sammich is quite a staple. To others, a pastrami and Swiss on Jewish rye is the norm. I personally believe that the perfect sammich lives in the moment of its creation. Under the right setting, that left over meatloaf makes the perfect sammich.

Many people think that what goes inside the sammich is the most important ingredient. I disagree. I think that the sammich's foundation, the bread, is more important. You could take the most expensive deli meat in the world, but if it is put on sucky bread, you've made a sucky sammich. The converse is true, as well. Shit on a shingle is just that. My suggestions is to find a day old bread store. Locally, we have a Merita bakery that has outlet stores. They offer all types of breads for you to start your culinary monstrosity with. Do you want sourdough? How about Texas toast? Potato bread, perhaps? If you want it, you will probably be able to get it there.

As to the sammich's heart, you need the "meat". Now, you don't have to use animal flesh to have a meaty sammich. Grilled portobellos anyone? Anyways, most American's become indoctrinated into either lunch meats or peanut butter early in life. Main stream lunch meats, while handy and convenient, will never beat fresh sliced deli meats. Razor thin shaved ham or pastrami, while more expensive, is worth it. Again, it is all about what is desired at that moment in time.

The third part of making the perfect sandwich is the ancillary products that go on top of the meat, between the breads, if possible. Condiments, cheeses, vegetables, etc. are all examples of these ancillary products. You know, not many meat sammiches aren't accompanied by a cheese. They can be solo, but the perfect pair of meat and cheese is hard to resist. Now, not all of these products will stay on the meat or even between the breads. A favorite dish of mine is a beef roast that has been slow cooked in a crock pot overnight, with onions, potatoes, and carrots. The meat will fall apart, fork tender. You take your bread slices, lay them down over the plate. Scoop out the meat, veggies, and gravy all over the bread. Open-faced roast beef sammich. Gravy, the perfect condiment for almost any occasion.

Finally, I think what can make the perfect sammich experience (because it isn't just about the sammich anymore) is what partners it on the plate. Will it be fruit slices? How about the standard, chips? Garnish with pickle spear? It is open to the end-user/diner at this point, but you see that making the perfect sammich isn't so much about the sammich itself. It is all about the total experience enjoyed with the sammich.

2004/12/13

College radio summed up in five words...

...dead air, um, dead air.

Sorry for the short post. It will probably be like this all this week. Getting geared up for vacation on Friday, so my mind is moving into "shut down" mode.

2004/12/11

Reclaiming "your" word

Read panels 5 and 6, then apply it to a few lovely un-PC words you know about, especially the racial ones.

2004/12/10

Misc. Friday Ramblings

Once more into the breach:

Obligatory friday gun pr0n! Respect the grips.



Speaking of heroes...





What Type of Villain are You?

2004/12/09

Little lessons you learn in life

Two unidentified men beat a 17-year-old girl and left her for dead last week, and now police are asking for the public's help to find the culprits.

The three met at a Davie bar Dec. 1. When the teen asked to go home, the men reportedly offered her a ride. But instead of taking her home, they drove her to a deserted church parking lot 20 miles from the bar and demanded sex.

When she resisted, they beat her, police said, punching her in the head and kicking her in the face. They then repeatedly slammed the teen's head into a cement curb, knocking her out. Police said the suspects fled the scene, leaving the girl for dead.

The girl was able to give police some other information:
  • She said the men drove a newer model black Mustang convertible with tan interior.

  • One man's name might be Darin, or Justin. He spoke with a southern accent and claimed to be from Louisiana.

  • The other suspect may be named Mike. He had multiple tattoos and the word "Creep" on his neck. He also may have been wearing a hat that said "Killer."

Is she a victim? Absolutely. She is also a major dumbass too.

Lesson 1: You are 17 years old. You shouldn't be in a bar.
Lesson 2: Never accept rides from strangers, especially if you are a single, underaged female.
Lesson 3: NEVER, EVER, accept a ride from a guy with "CREEP" tattooed on his neck and wearing a "KILLER" hat.
Lesson 4: If you haven't learned anything from lesson 1, 2, or 3, time to cholorinate your gene pool.

2004/12/08

How about an female elf with huge.....tracks of land.


A word of warning to anyone new to the genre: these games require a lot of time and money to fully enjoy. There's no "game over" screen, and the goal is personal growth, not a high score.

Think of them as neverending virtual fantasies where you and thousands of other players, similarly sitting in front of computers, can interact and take part in a larger, overarching story.

Good or bad, tall or short, warrior or warlock, it's your choice to be whatever you want to be.

"EverQuest II" from Sony Online Entertainment is a sprawling, refined sequel to one of the most popular and influential online games in the United States.

"World of Warcraft," meanwhile, is a completely new offering from Blizzard Entertainment. The company, known for its real-time strategy games, brings the characters and settings from the older "Warcraft" series to the persistent world of Azeroth.

"EverQuest II" should appeal to hardcore gamers and fans of the original who can devote months of their life toward perfecting their characters. It was slow going at first. As a brutish barbarian, I had to invest hours slashing monsters before I could even enter Qeynos, one of two rival cities that serve as the true starting points for exploration and plundering in the massive land of Norrath.

From the start, "World of Warcraft" had a faster pace. After creating my character from a list of eight different races and nine different classes, I was battling critters, collecting treasure and gaining valuable experience.

"World of Warcraft" delivers immersion in other, more subtle ways. I never experienced a load screen while traipsing from one area to another. With "EverQuest II," load screens are common between different areas and serve as a reminder that I'm still playing a video game.

If I was on a budget and had to choose one right now, I'd go with "World of Warcraft." That's a personal preference, however, and if you prefer a more time-sucking challenge you'll probably find a lot to like with "EverQuest II."

I've played MMORPGs ever since the days of Gemstone on Prodigy. MMORPGs are a complete time sink, set in themes ranging from sci-fi to fantasy to comic books. My current MMORPG of choice is City of Heroes. However, I have tried out a few of the current releases and upcoming games.

I did play World of Warcraft during beta. It was a fun game, because it was very "first-time MMORPGer" friendly. The interface was simple, yet customizable. The difficulty increased only as your skills did. You could play alone or group easily. Quests were fun and rewarding. Skills and abilities allowed you to move into the realm of crafting objects for use or trade. If I wasn't playing COH, I'd be playing WoW.

I never played Everquest or Everquest 2. I do know folks that are playing EQ2, but some are really not caring for it much. They play it, then let their subscription die out after the free month is over with.

I have beta tested Lineage 2. While it was fun for a time, the game was set up so you had to "grind" through the monsters over and over again just to get to the next level. Nothing kills a game more than meaningless grinding. At least the dark elves had the biggest set of boobs I've ever seen on a player avatar.

I have also beta tested the upcoming Matrix Online. Wow, that is a rough game. I think they are trying to do too much with it, and it is over-complicated. It looked good, and kept the theme of the Matrix alive, but the interface and combat was completely overwhelming. After about two weeks, I removed it from my system. There wasn't any content holding me in the game. I don't see it making it.

My personal recommendation for this holiday season is City of Heroes. It is an easy game to get up and running quickly. You can have a super hero up to level 6 in about 30 minutes of play. The difficulty for a beginning player is spot on. Not too hard, not too easy. Of course, there are the super powers you get. Plus, it isn't set in a fantasy or D&D type setting. Finally, you get a comic book every month to boot.

If you decide to MMORPG this year, just remember one thing. It is a time sink. It does take dedication to succeed. Success isn't measured by a game over screen, but by the continual progression of story and character alike. If closure is something that you need in your life, a MMORPG isn't for you. Oh yeh, they also have a monthly fee to play. However, if you can live with all of that, GAME ON!

2004/12/06

Are ya achin? Yup, Yup, Yup. For some Bacon?

Packs of wild pigs are pillaging yards in the Fountainhead South subdivision. The animals emerge from thick brush on adjacent, unfenced Melbourne Airport Authority land, damaging landscaping and frightening residents.

Since Nov. 14, James Dean and Chad Penright have caged and bow-shot 23 feral pigs -- including a 380-pound brute.

Dean captured a 180-pound sow Friday morning, "and she was aggressive," he said.

Trespassing swine have been spotted along Wright Avenue and Corbusier Drive, congregating in rummaging hordes of up to 20 animals. One startled a woman who was taking out garbage.

Pigs also are suspected in the death of a pet cat, said Connie Canfield, a homeowners association director.

Canfield, who has a concealed-weapon permit, now carries a .38-caliber pistol during morning walks with her miniature terriers, Tiffy and Ace, in case of pig attack.

It is always okay to get a CCW just incase you are attacked by wild pigs. Guns don't kill people, pigs kill people. Still, feral pigs can be more than just a nuisance, spreading disease and killing wildlife. Maybe the numbnuts that voted for a constitutional amendment for better pig treatment can come up with some legislature to govern these pigs as well. You know that they will be law-abiding pigs, and they will follow the law. Just like criminals with guns do, everyday.

2004/12/05

Criminals need to be banned, not guns

To the Times: The letter from Kim Osborn caused me to respond to many comments I have heard or read since the expiration of the assault weapons ban. About the Osborn letter, it’s always good to see young people express responsible opinions, but it’s always disappointing when those opinions are supported by inaccuracies.

After a dramatic opening, the Radnor High School journalism student goes on to define a semi-automatic weapon as an assault weapon that will "release a full round of bullets with one pull of the trigger."

I was not certain what that meant until I read on. An automatic weapon is defined as shooting "a single bullet with one pull."

Wrong. An automatic weapon will fire as long as the trigger is depressed until it runs out of ammunition. A semi-automatic weapon fires once, and only once, for each pull of the trigger.

Originally, the concept of an assault weapon was embodied in the German MP-38 and MP-40 submachine guns used in World War II. A weapon capable of semi- or fully automatic fire using a relatively light, but still very deadly, round for close infantry attacks.

One of the first statements I heard was assault weapons were more powerful than the police. I assume the speaker meant more powerful than police weapons. Interesting, because SWAT teams carry a variety of assault weapons -- M-16s, a variety of SIG submachine guns, and other nasty items that would certainly persuade me to end my evil doings were they directed at me. Even our local police have M-16s or AR-15s, a semi-automatic variant of the M-16.

Someone else commented there is no place in civilized society for assault weapons. Really? I hope the army and the police have a few ’cause the bad guys certainly get them.

I’m a law-abiding citizen and the Constitution says I have a right to keep and bear arms. Please don’t trot out that old saw that the founding fathers never envisioned machine guns. They beat one of the greatest powers in the world using, among other things, rifles accurate at three times the distance of the weapons with which the British were armed. Many in the British army thought it criminal that we would use such a barbaric weapon to kill their officers at great distances and leave their soldiers without commanders.

One I really love is "Stop the violence." Sure, but let’s define violence. The right-to- life crowd considers abortion violence. What about domestic violence? What about boxing or hockey games? What violence are we stopping?

Another popular mantra is assault weapons spray bullets. If you review the definitions above, you will see the original assault weapons did in fact "spray" bullets, as they were fully automatic. The weapons prohibited under the assault weapons ban were semi-automatic and only go bang once for each pull of the trigger. I suppose that a really fast finger could approximate a "spray" of bullets, but that’s a stretch.

Another comment was made by an inner-city preacher. He claimed assault weapons spur self genocide among African Americans. I wasn’t aware there was self genocide going on in the African-American community. Sadly, a great deal of young African Americans are shot, but it seems the shooting is often drug related. I’ll wager statistics would show assault weapons are involved only in a small number of shootings.

Many scare tactics prey upon our fears of being attacked. What is more fearsome than a big black ugly gun with a 30-round magazine and a bayonet on the end? Sure, that’s what we all know that drug dealers use in street battles and junkies use to hold up convenience stores.

Of course, there are no bad people, only bad guns. Imagine you are a felon about to hold up that store or drive down to the corner and shoot the competition. How are you going to conceal an 8-pound, 36- to 40-inch rifle when you walk into the store?

Or, driving up to the corner with your Kalashnikov in your Altima, you raise the 34-inch rifle to your shoulder and find there just isn’t enough room to put the weapon to use. These fellows are not going to use assault weapons, they’re gonna use handguns, or already illegal submachine guns, they are smaller and easier to conceal as well as easier to bring into action in small, confined places.

Someone commented that raising the ban would give terrorists, domestic and foreign, access to guns of mass destruction. I doubt very much that foreign terrorists are coming to this country for assault weapons when every black market in the world is selling stolen or surplus Soviet Kalashnikovs, Dragunovs, SKSs.

Domestic terrorists? Last I heard they were using heating oil and fertilizer, but perhaps they were law-abiding terrorists and didn’t buy during the ban.

Maybe the best comment I heard was at a meeting. The subject of weapons was not on the agenda, yet a lady stood up and commented upon how much danger we all were in since the ban had expired. She pointed out these very dangerous and very scary guns were once again flooding our streets and, I quote, "... they buy kits to make them even more dangerous...."

I’m stumped. Someone needs to tell me how to take a weapon that launches 115 to 180 grains of lead from anywhere between 1,800 and 2,500 feet per second and make that more dangerous. You want dangerous, get a short-barreled (not sawed-off, they’re illegal also) shotgun. The true dangerous weirdo will choose that weapon every time.

The assault weapons ban was feel-good legislation that accomplished little, if anything. I read many statistics that showed the weapons prohibited under this ban were responsible for a small percentage of crimes. The ban prohibited scary-looking guns and made no real difference to the general health and well being of most Americans.

If someone had two semi-automatic rifles, both chambered for 7.62x39, a common cartridge first produced by the Soviets, one could be completely legal and the other a prohibited weapon under the ban. If one had a fixed magazine and a straight stock with no military features, it would be perfectly legal under the ban, and in states where semi-automatics are legal for hunting, a nifty deer rifle. If the other had a pistol grip, flash suppresser, and a bayonet lug, leave it in the back of the closet ’cause its prohibited. No matter that it uses the same mechanism to fire the bullet and fires a cartridge of the same caliber at the same rate of fire, gun number two is wicked. Gun number one is not yet wicked, but perhaps we’ll get around to it in the next ban.

Please, forget about the gun control matter. Want to prohibit something that will have a real, measurable and positive effect on society? Ban criminals. Capture them, prosecute them, and sentence them appropriately. Don’t let them go on technicalities and don’t reduce their sentences or parole them. Make them pay the price of their deeds. Stop controlling law-abiding folks and start controlling the bad guys.

Also, commend the journalism students, but ask them to get their facts straight before they commit to print.

GEORGE A. ALBANY III

This is just one man's opinion, which I go along with. The ban is over, now stop prosecuting the gun owners and go after to gun criminals. Nod to my Dad for the link to this article.

2004/12/03

Misc. Friday Ramblings

Ramblers, let's get rambling:
  • Kerik Picked to Lead Homeland Security. Funny, I thought that Trogdor smote the Kerik with much burnination. Still, it is good to have a cop in a security position. Maybe the color coded warning chart will be changed to donuts.
    "Today, our security level is glazed, but we will raise it to cruller if need be".

  • Bonds Admitted to Using Substances. These athletes are supposed to be smart guys. If someone came up to you and told you to try this mystery substance, would you?

  • UN Reform Sought to Tackle Global Threats. Wow, coming out of the 40's and into the next century. Probably won't be able to get changes through until the 40's....2040's.

  • Police find stolen donut truck. Contents missing. Coffee cups everywhere. Whodathunkit!

  • Skynet lives!
    Four cameras and a pair of night-vision binoculars allow the robot to operate at all times of the day. It has a range of about a half-mile in urban areas, more in the open desert. And with the ability to carry four 66-mm rockets or six 40-mm grenades, as well as an M240 or M249 machine gun, the robots can take on additional duties fast

Obligatory friday gun pr0n! The lethal Talon robot.


2004/12/02

Remember how I told you that I got some books at Thanksgiving?

Well, one of those books that I got at our family Christmas gathering was a book on stupid human behavior. It reads like a who's who of urban legends, but they are darn funny. One that I read today stuck out.
The driver of an armored truck appeared to be signaling for help as he repeatedly swung his door open. Six police cruisers chased and stopped the truck, which had been swerving left and right. As it turned out, the driver had simply tried to fan fresh air into the cabin after the other guard had passed gas.

Now, this forces me to tell The Mountasia Tale. Well, it just so happens that our fun-loving crew of Pat, WunderPunk, Ken, and myself was out one night in the early 90's at a putt-putt/arcade called Mountasia. Ken and myself were Street Fighter 2 addicts back then. You had the main room, which had three levels. Each level had a line of arcade machines on them. Ken and I were playing SF2 on the bottom level, far right of the line. I let one rip. Lets just say, we had mongolian BBQ that night, so it wasn't gonna be pretty.

I don't know how this happened, but from the far left of the room comes "OH MY GOD, WHO FARTED!?!?!?". One by one, each person at the machines, from left to right, backed away from their machine as the smell reached them. Except for one guy in the middle, obliviously playing Mortal Kombat 2. Everyone looked at us, but because the smell had somehow come from the other side of the room, I gave the nod to the poor guy in the middle. Lets just say that no one played the games on either side of him for quite some time. Ken leans over to whisper "Was that you?". I nodded with a sinister grin of satisfaction on my face. I cleared Mountasia.

Remind me to tell you the tale of the Punch, the Van, and Pat's acrobatics.

2004/12/01

Get your patriotic juices flowing!

F*CK YEAH! Just be sure to put the headphones on first. Another classic from Trey Parker.

Big nod to Rez for this jewel.

2004/11/30

Red vs Blue vs Turducken

The guys at Red vs Blue have pretty much summed up the differences in the whole Red State/Blue State election fiasco. Plus, they mix in Turducken for good measure.

· Thanksgiving Quicktime (19 MB) - (right click and save as)
· Thanksgiving DivX (19 MB) - (right click and save as)
· Thanksgiving WMV (14 MB) - (right click and save as)

2004/11/29

The hottest MILF is born.

Actress Julia Roberts gave birth to twins, a boy and a girl, in a Los Angeles hospital on Sunday, People magazine reported on its Web site, citing an anonymous source.

A magazine spokeswoman said Roberts, 37, gave birth around 3 a.m. PST (6 a.m. EST) to Phinnaeus Walter and Hazel Patricia.

A spokeswoman for the star did not return phone calls.

Roberts, who won an Oscar for her role in "Erin Brockovich" (2000), married the twins' father, cameraman Danny Moder, 35, in 2002 on Roberts' ranch in Taos, New Mexico.

The two had been splitting their time between homes in Taos, New York, and the Los Angeles area.

The actress was hospitalized late last month after experiencing early contractions. Doctors advised her to remain on bed rest until she gave birth.

Or should I say that the luckiest twins are born. Looks like they come from excellent stock, looks-wise. However, I think that the naming is a bit unique. I hope the boy grows up tough, or Amish, because Phinnaues will get you beat up. Hazel isn't that bad, until Halloween rolls around, and then the witch jokes show up. Actually, Witch Hazel has some wonderful healing properties, but I digress.

Growing up a rich kid to some movie star doesn't mean everything will be fine. How many specials has Oprah run on "poor little rich kids" that just go bad because they've never had to work for anything. From the eyes of someone that grew up in a hard-working middle-class home, money isn't everything until you can learn to appreciate it. Then money is pretty damn cool to have.

2004/11/26

Misc. Friday Ramblings

Well, it is the Friday after Thanksgiving, and I am at work. "When the clients close, we close..." or some such bullshiat. Thanksgiving was good this year. Our normal family tradition is for my family and my brother's family to go to our parents to have Thanksgiving and Christmas, due to the mileage between us all. It was a good time, capped off with fantastic food.

Before dinner, we all sit around and exchange gifts. As usual, the kids make out like bandits. Mike's two girls getting lots of girly stuff, while my little one gets lots of cars. He loves cars and vehicles in general. Nothing like turning a room into a parking garage.

I made out quite well. I got GTA:San Andreas for the PS2. Also got some books on stupid human behavior. Love those Darwin Awards. Clothes, wall hangers, pictures, etc. My wife got some nice clothing as well. This one sweater really shows off...er, nevermind. We got a beautiful cross and home-made hot plate.

After all gifts exchanged, and the kids got down to playing, we set up for dinner. Mom and Dad outdid themselves with two deep-friend turkeys, a ham, dressing, mashed potatoes, green beans, sweet potato pie, and more. Ugh. MUST....LOOSEN....BELT. Of course, we got lots of leftovers. Turkey and Ham sammiches for the next few days, but that meat is damn good.

It was a very pleasant visit. I normally don't care for holidays, due to commercialization and from having worked in retail many years. This year was different. No hurt feelings. No crisis. No displaced family members. It was calm, peaceful, and relaxing. I just hope the holiday coming up will be the same way.

Now, random crap:



EDIT: I forgot the gun pr0n!

2004/11/25

Happy Thanksgiving.

I doubt I'll have time to post tomorrow, so to everyone celebrating the holiday, get stuffed!

2004/11/24

Have a nice day!



In general, the M14 was an outdated design at the moment of its adoption. It had the accuracy and range of an "old time" military rifles, but was too long, heavy and lacked the selective fire firepower of a true assault rifle, required in the modern combat. Nevertheless, it was a reliable and powerful weapon, often favored by users for high lethality, long range and good penetration.

2004/11/23

When hunting in Wisconsin, make sure everyone in the party has a gun.

A deer hunter shot and killed five people and wounded three others after he was spotted on private land and was asked to leave, authorities said.

A 36-year-old man was arrested Sunday afternoon when he came out of the woods after the shootings during the hunt's opening weekend, sheriff's officials said. Two of the wounded were in critical condition Monday.

Deputy Jake Hodgkinson identified the suspect as Chai Vang but would give no details. Vang is from St. Paul, Minn., said Paul Schnell, a spokesman for the St. Paul police department.

The victims were part of a larger group hunting near a rural cabin on private land in Sawyer County in northwestern Wisconsin.

One hunter spotted someone in their tree stand, a raised platform in a tree used by hunters, and he and several others approached the man and asked him to leave, Sawyer County Sheriff James Meier said Monday.

The man got down from the stand and was walking away, then "for some apparent reason he turned and opened fire on them," Meier said.

One hunter radioed to others in the party for help, and more people were shot as they arrived on all-terrain vehicles to rescue the first group, authorities said. Someone in the group wrote the suspect's hunting license number, which hunters wear on their clothing, by tracing it on a dirty vehicle, Meier said.

The suspect, who did not have a compass, got lost in the woods and two other hunters who didn't know about the shootings helped him find his way out, Zeigle said.

The man was arrested when he emerged from the woods and a Department of Natural Resources officer recognized the deer license on his back from a description given by one of the shooting victims, Zeigle said.

The man was out of ammunition, he said.

A question that was raised by a few colleagues of mine is that if they are all up there hunting together, then shouldn't they have been armed. If someone is radioing for help because they are being shot at, do you not take your own firearm with you? When I first heard this story on the radio, I heard that the guy in the tree stand was Vietnamese using an SKS rifle. In the Vietnam War, those rifles were used a lot by the NVA/VC. So, I immediately thought someone was having flashbacks. At 36, I doubt that the murderer is having flashbacks. Still, I think there is more to the story that has yet to be revealed.

2004/11/22

Went to the fights and games broke out

What a weekend for fighting! Friday, you have the Pistons and Pacers riot.

With 45 seconds to play out of the final quarter of Friday nights Detroit Pistons v Indiana Pacers game at the Palace of Auburn Hills an altercation between Ben Wallace and Ron Artest on middle court.

Wallace's strike following a verbal exchange at the tail end of a hard faught game which had the Pacers leading 97-82 at the time initiated the emptying of both teams benches.

As the melee was coming under control and teams seperated Artest took time to lay out across the officials bench courtside and attempt to put on a commentators headset, making light of the situation and Wallace's continued attempts to get at him.

The detroit fans also took offence to the Pacers Forward turned R&B star, pelting his position with objects and full cups of beer. At this point Artest, accompanied by Stephen Jackson took to the stands to deal out some of their own justice to the unruly fans, Artest managing to connect with the beer thrower before a scuffle brought them under some control and delivered artest back to the court with a ripped singlet to show for his troubles.

Another fan who ventured onto the court was confronted by the Pacers stars before team officials and security began hurrying them out to the locker rooms. The barrage continued as the game was called over the Palace P.A. system, Jermaine O'Neal was hit with a flying chair before security wrestled him and the rest of the pacers enterage out of harms way.

The NBA wonders why people don't like their product anymore. Thug life, baby. Oh yeh, and the Detroit "fans" suck.

Then on Saturday, Clemson and South Carolina go at it. Wasn't a riot like in Detroit, but still.
Emotions on both sides spun out of control late in the fourth quarter with a sidelines-clearing fight that delayed the game for about 10 minutes before coaches, police and security officers got things under control.

“I got a little scraped up, a couple of scratches,” said Clemson cornerback Justin Miller, who tussled with South Carolina receiver Matthew Thomas. “Once I saw a couple of big guys come by me, I got out of there.”

Holtz and Clemson coach Tommy Bowden both said they would look at tapes of the fight and take possible action. Clemson athletic director Terry Don Phillips said the ACC would also review the fight to see if penalties had to be handed out.

“You saw it at the basketball game last night,” Clemson quarterback Charlie Whitehurst said, referring to the brawl between the Detroit Pistons and Indiana Pacers. “You hate that it happens, but it does sometime.”

Holtz dove into the pile as peacemaker, trying to peel much bigger bodies from the situation. “Hey, he’s our daddy,” guard Jonathan Alston said. “If he was our father, we’d all get beatings” for the fight.

2004/11/20

What is in a name?

Your Penis Name is: 100% All-beef Thermometer




Your Star Wars Masturbation Method Is:
Test Firing the Death Star








You Are a Link Blogger!



Your blog is more about cool links than thougtful posts.
Better to be entertaining and breif than longwinded and boring!



Damn, I'm getting longwinded, aren't I?

2004/11/19

Misc. Friday Ramblings

2004/11/18

How to win sweeps week: Nudity!

television news anchor appeared on the air nude in a first-person report about an artist's photographs, drawing a record number of viewers for the time slot, the station said.

Sharon Reed was one of hundreds of people who participated in Spencer Tunick's nude photo installation in Cleveland in June. Her report, which aired Monday on the 11 p.m. newscast on WOIO-TV, showed far away angles of her nude and some closer seminude shots, as well as other participants.

The station aired advisories before the piece, and FCC spokeswoman Janice Wise on Wednesday said WOIO followed commission rules that prohibit indecent material from being aired on broadcast television from 6 a.m. to 10 p.m.

I can't fault the news station, they were just doing a ratings stunt. It happens all the time. You have to have ratings to make money. Who cares about journalistic intergrity when money does the talking? What is really sad is that record numbers tuned in hoping to just catch a piece of ass on TV. Come on, folks. Just go read your email without your spam filter on to see stuff you'll never see on broadcast airwaves.

2004/11/16

Doctor Discovers the 'Orgasmatron'

While Meloy, an anesthesiologist and pain specialist in Winston-Salem, was putting an electrode into the spine of a female patient with chronic back pain, the woman reported a decrease in her pain and a delightful, but very unexpected, side effect.

"When we turned on the power in this case, she let out a moan and began hyperventilating," Meloy said on ABC News' Good Morning America. "Of course we cut the power and I looked around the drapes and asked her what was going on. Once she caught her breath, she said 'you're gonna have to teach my husband how to do that!' "

Meloy soon realized he may have discovered a device that could help thousands of women who have trouble achieving orgasm.

"The device is the use of a pre-existing device called a spinal cord stimulator," he said. "Instead of treating chronic pain with the stimulator, we're treating orgasmic dysfunction," Meloy said.

In a surgical procedure done in his office, Meloy implants the electrodes from this device into the back of the patient, at the bottom part of the spinal cord. When the electrodes are stimulated with a remote control, the brain interprets the signal as an orgasm, he said. The device is about the size of a pacemaker and can be turned on and off with a handheld remote control.

"Once we found the controls, what caused the stimulation to be greater … more pleasurable, that's when I saw the results. I did have orgasm, and there were a couple of times that I had multiple orgasms because of the stimulator," said the woman, who asked to remain anonymous.

She said it was difficult to part with the orgasmatron when the study ended.

If approved for this use, the orgasmatron device and implantation could cost up to $17,000, but Meloy says he believes some women would be happy to pay that amount to have the orgasmatron permanently embedded in their lower backs. He says the device could be implanted on an outpatient basis.

You know, once you can teach a vibrator to mow the lawn, men will no longer be needed in the world. There have been remote-controlled devices before, but they depend on direct stimulation. Now, through modern science, you can completely by-pass direct stimulation and move on to direct neural input. I'm wondering how many women would pay $17,000 to have the big 'O' on command. How would you get your insurance to pay for that?

Thanks to my buddy Rez for the story.

2004/11/15

We're baaaaaaaaack!

A US marine from the 3/5 Lima company stands in front of graffiti scribbled on the bridge crossing the Euphrates River in the restive city of Fallujah,14 November 2004, 50 kms west of Baghdad. The bridge became famous after the death of US security officers' charred bodies were hung on display at the end of March 2004. US-led forces will probably need up to five more days to finish clearing Fallujah of rebels after a week of fierce fighting that left more than 1,200 insurgents dead, US marine officers said today.

Sometime you have to be nice. Sometimes you have to be not-so-nice. What the insurgents are now discovering is what happens when it becomes time to be not-so-nice. If you allow a virus to fester for too long, it gets rooted deeply into the area. When a broad spectrum battery of solutions won't work, you need to use the sharpest instrument, the scalpel. The M.E.F. is the best scalpel in the world. Semper Fidelis!

2004/11/14

NASA experimental 'scramjet' prepares for Mach 10 attempt

If successful, NASA's third and last X-43A "scramjet" will fly at 7,000 mph for 10 or 11 seconds high over the Pacific Ocean off California and then, like the two other X-43As, plunge into a watery grave.

The first X-43A flight failed in June 2001 when the booster rocket used to accelerate it to flight speed veered off course and had to be destroyed. The second flight last March was a success, reaching Mach 6.83 — nearly 5,000 mph _and setting a new world speed record for a plane powered by an air-breathing engine.

Just 12 feet long and 5 feet wide, the X-43A is mounted on the nose of a Pegasus rocket that will be carried aloft to 40,000 feet by NASA's B-52 research aircraft and released. The Pegasus rocket will ignite and carry the X-43A to an altitude of 110,000 feet and a speed of about Mach 10, then release it for its brief powered flight.

The X-43A will then become a glider and perform maneuvers until it splashes down into the ocean.

That will be the end of the X-43A project, which has cost more than $230 million and has no immediate follow-on program.

Unlike rockets, scramjets wouldn't have to carry heavy oxidizer necessary to allow fuel to burn because they can scoop oxygen out of the atmosphere.

And ramjets, which operate from Mach 3 to Mach 6, have to use rotating blades to compress airflow down to subsonic speeds prior to combustion, while scramjets have few or no moving parts and airflow remains supersonic through combustion.

On the X-43A, the craft's underside actually functions as part of the engine, compressing the air for mixing with hydrogen gas and blasting it out the rear.

Imagine, if you will, a time in the near future. You hop on board of a craft in New York. Your destination is Tokyo. A normal flight on a Boeing 777 will be 12 hours and 35 minutes at an average flight speed of 550mph, average altitude of 40000 feet. That is 750 minutes at about 9.2 miles per minute for about 6900 miles.
Okay, now imagine the same trip on a hypersonic jet. Going 7000mph, the same trip will take about 60 minutes (116.7 miles per minute into 6900 miles). That's pretty damn impressive, once they get the technology done right.

However, it still irks me that they are not recovering these gliding aircraft. $230 million, while cheap by Nasa standards, is still nothing to sneeze at when there are complaints of government waste going on. If the thing can glide, glide it back in to a desert landing somewhere. Put a parachute on it, or floats, and pick it up in the ocean. Re-use the damn thing, if possible. Doesn't need to be littering up the ocean.

2004/11/12

Marvel sues City of Heroes

Marvel Enterprises Inc. is suing two firms behind a computer superhero role-playing game it claims allows players to make virtual characters that are too similar to ``The Hulk,'' ``X-Men'' and other heroes in the comic book company's stable.

The lawsuit claims South Korea-based NCSoft Corp. and San Jose-based Cryptic Studios Inc. violated Marvel's trademark characters in their game ``City of Heroes.'' Marvel seeks unspecified damages and an injunction against the two companies to stop using its characters.

The personal computer game enables players to design superheroes' look and abilities and then battle against other players' characters in a virtual city. Like similar so-called massively multiplayer role-playing games where thousands of players can be playing simultaneously at any given time, ``City of Heroes'' claims to offer a myriad of combinations so that no two players' characters are exactly the same.

But in its lawsuit, filed Wednesday in U.S. District Court, Marvel argues that the game's character creation engine easily allows players to design characters that are virtual copies of its own superheros, including ``The Incredible Hulk.''

The company singles out a game feature for creating ``a gigantic, green, 'science-based tanker'-type hero that moves and behaves nearly identically'' to the ``Hulk.'' Players can also create a ``mutant-based'' hero powers and a costume nearly identical to Marvel's ``Wolverine,'' according to the suit.

The New York-based company also took issue with the ability of players to go so far as to name their superhero creations after Marvel comic book characters.

I play City of Heroes. Religiously. I am also a comic book fan. I also know that this is not the first time that Marvel has sued countless game companies and fan sites that enable the use of Marvel characters in games. The real issue is that the naming is supposed to be policed by the internal GMs(game masters). These are paid employees that make sure everything covered under the EULA is enforced. Copyright materials are prohibited according to the EULA, because characters created in the COH game universe belong to Cryptic Studios and NC Soft.

In the game I have seen the following copyrighted characters (not all Marvel): Superman, Batman, Wolverine, The Hulk, Nightcrawler, Zangief, Guile, all the Agents from the Matrix, The Ghostbusters, and Warhammer 40k marines. When they enable trenchcoats, I'm sure that we will see all sorts of Neo variants.

Marvel needs to grow a thicker skin, or come out with their own MMORPG. I think the real basis for the lawsuit is the character ownership clause in the EULA. Enforcement is the responsibility of the GMs, which have been a bit lax of late. Hopefully, they will staff up, and institute name data-mining to get rid of this junk lawsuit.

2004/11/10

I slab of ribs, coming up!

Tyrannosaurus rex scraped the meat from the ribs of its prey in much the same way a human might gnaw on a serving of barbecued ribs, a meeting of geologists was told on Tuesday.

Bite marks on fossil bones collected in the American West showed evidence that the fearsome dinosaurs used their curving, dagger-like teeth with some dexterity to remove the meat from bones before munching on them like a modern-day dog, Daniel Hyslop of the University of Wisconsin, Madison, told a Geological Society of America meeting.

Fossilized bones contain puncture holes that exactly match the conical, serrated teeth of T.rex, Hyslop found.

Herds of duck-billed Hadrosaurs and the horned Triceratops that roamed 65 million years ago were likely victims of the top predator. It remains unknown if T.rex dined primarily on fresh meat or scavenged for anything, alive or dead, in its path.

I wonder if he preferred sauce or rub. Side of beans and slaw are optional.

2004/11/09

The Ultimate Online RPG

I'm a big fan of RPGs and MMORPGs. I've played MMOs since Ultima Online, spending most of my time in Asheron's Call. Currently, I'm having a blast in City of Heroes. So, when news of the next ultimate MMORPG came along, I had to cover it. I'd like to thank Ken Shima over at Castle Shima for the link.

Hello Kitty and friends welcome you to the exciting and fantastic Hello Kitty World! This is the first-ever online game platform featuring the all-time-favorite Hello Kitty characters from Sanrio!

Hello Kitty World will allow thousands of players to live and participate in Hello Kitty's magical and cute online world. You will be able to roam the streets of Kitty Kingdom, XO Federation, and Melody-land. Enjoy the beautiful landscape and architecture of Puroland or Badtzcity and participate in numerous puzzles, story lines, or adventures lead by the worldwide community of Hello Kitty World subscribers. You can even have a successful career, open different shops, earn and spend Sanrio Dollars in your bank, buy a house, and trade with other players around the vast game world.

The only kitty world I want to play in is Kalashnikitty world!

2004/11/06

When you're out on the evening, flash more than a smile (NSFW).

Actress Tara Reid apparently has gotten some surgery recently. Now, I love big boobies, but I have no idea what would possess someone of such natural (well, used to be anyways) beauty to enhance themselves. She may not be as big as Mimi Rogers, but still. Check out the nipple scars. EEK!

2004/11/04

Panic Room: That 70's show style

Honey, there’s a burglar in the house! Quick, downstairs! I’ll get the gun – you type a letter to the police, then sew up a sack I can put him in.

I don't remember much about the 70's. Thank God I don't remember much about the 70's. And no, it wasn't drugs either, I was just a kid thankyouverymuch! Just put back the double-knit, reversible slacks.

2004/11/03

Consummatum Est

Tetelestai, It Is Finished. Now, get it off of my TV!
President Bush on Wednesday emerged as the victor in the fiercely fought race for the White House after Sen. John Kerry decided against contesting the vote in the battleground state of Ohio.

Kerry's decision was relayed to NBC News by a senior adviser, who said the Democrat had phoned Bush to concede and would make a concession speech at 1 p.m. Wednesday.

According to two officials familiar with the situation interviewed by the Associated Press, Kerry ended his quest shortly after 11 a.m. ET, concluding one of the most expensive and bitterly contested races on record, with a call to the president.

"Congratulations, Mr. President," Kerry said in the conversation described by sources as lasting less than five minutes. One of the sources was Republican, the other a Democrat.

The Democratic source said Bush called Kerry a worthy, tough and honorable opponent. Kerry told Bush the country was too divided, the source said, and Bush agreed. “We really have to do something about it,” Kerry said according to the Democratic official.

2004/11/02

I voted. So sue me. oh wait....

I stop by the local polling place. It is a quaint little Lutheran church at the end of the road. No where to park in front of the church. I'm thinking to myself that there is a great turnout for 3:15pm in the afternoon. Well, I walk in and immediately notice that there are three people voting.

WTF?!?!?!

Then I scan the room. There is the old man that is the polling officer, the three ladies at the sign-in table, the one lady watching the ballot box, three other ladies by the back wall. Probably switching out shifts of the volunteers. However, I also notice people that don't belong there. Suits.

There are four people at a small table just watching everything with questioning eyes, disecting everyone's moves. Apparently, there are observers present at all of the polling places, just to make sure everything moves smoothly. Great, fine, whatever.

MOVE YOUR F*CKING CARS SO THE VOTERS CAN GET IN EASIER AND VOTE YOU ASSHATS!!!!

BTW, I was voter number 382. By contrast, for the last primary election, which had one of the worse turnouts in local history, I was voter 75. Lovely. Looks like people still aren't turning out, even for the important local shit.

Vote Cobra Commander!

Choose your poison indeed. Of course, you could do like me and think like George Carlin:
Everybody complains about politicians; everybody says they suck. Well where do people think these politicians come from? They don’t fall out of the sky. They don’t pass through a membrane from another reality. They come from American parents and American families. American homes, American schools, American churches, American businesses and American universities, and then they are elected by American citizens. This is the best we can do folks. This is what we have to offer. It’s what our system produces. Garbage in, garbage out. If you have selfish ignorant citizens, you’re gonna get selfish ignorant leaders, and term limits ain’t gonna do you any good. You’re just gonna wind up with a brand new bunch of selfish, ignorant Americans. So maybe it’s not the politicians who suck. Maybe something else sucks around here. Like the public. Yeah, the public sucks. There’s a good campaign slogan for somebody. “The public sucks! Fuck hope!” Fuck hope.

Because if it’s really the fault of these politicians, then where are all the other bright people of conscience? Where are all the bright, honest, intelligent Americans ready to step in and save the nation and lead the way? We don’t have people like that in this country. Everybody’s at the mall, scratching his ass, picking his nose, getting his credit card out of his fanny pack so he can buy a pair of sneakers with lights in them.

So I have solved this little political dilemma for myself in a very simple way. On Election Day, I stay home. I don’t vote. Fuck ’em. I don’t vote.

Two reasons:

First of all, it’s meaningless. This country was bought, and paid for and sold a long time ago. The shit they shuffle around every four years doesn’t mean a fucking thing.

And secondly, I don’t vote because I believe that if you vote, you have no right to complain. People like to twist that around, I know. They say if you don’t vote you have no right to complain, but where’s the logic in that? If you vote, and you elect dishonest, incompetent people, and they get into office and screw everything up, then you are responsible for what they have done. YOU caused the problem. YOU voted them in. YOU have no right to complain.

I, on the other hand, who did not vote, and who, in fact, did not even leave the house on election day, am in no way responsible for what these people have done and have every right to complain as loud as I want about the mess YOU created that I had nothing to do with. So, I know a little later on this year you’re gonna have another one of those really swell presidential elections that you like so much. You’ll enjoy yourselves; it’ll be a lot of fun. I’m sure that once the election is over your country will improve immediately. As for me, I’ll be home on that day doing essentially the same thing as you, the only difference is: when I get finished masturbating, I’m gonna have a little something to show for it.

2004/11/01

NFL gods have spoken. Kerry to win on Tuesday.

If history holds, the 28-14 result portends a victory for Kerry on Tuesday because the result of the Redskins' final home game before the presidential election has always accurately predicted the White House winner. If the Redskins win, the incumbent party wins. If they lose, the incumbent party is ousted.

"Oh, yeah, he's going to win. It's guaranteed," said Packers safety Darren Sharper, a Kerry supporter. "I don't have to vote now. Don't even have to go to the polls. Saved me a trip on Tuesday."

The streak began in 1933, when the Boston Braves were renamed the Redskins. Since then, beginning with Franklin Roosevelt's re-election in 1936, the trend has held, including a 2000 Redskins loss to the Tennessee Titans that predicted George W. Bush's win over Al Gore.

So, all Kerry supporters. Stay home on Tuesday. You are assured a victory now.

2004/10/30

Kick the Republican!

A part-time college instructor has apologized for kicking a student wearing a Republican sweatshirt in an off-campus incident.

Fort Lewis College student Mark O'Donnell said he was showing people his College Republicans sweatshirt, which said "Work for us now ... or work for us later," when Maria Spero kicked him.

After kicking him, Spero said "she should have kicked me harder and higher," said O'Donnell. In a police report O'Donnell said Spero kicked him in the right calf.

Durango Police Sgt. Mitch Higgins said Saturday that O'Donnell wanted to press charges against Spero and a misdemeanor summons would be issued.

"To physically take that out on someone because you disagree with them, that is completely wrong," said O'Donnell.

David Eppich, assistant to the president of the college, said the college has formally apologized for the incident. He said an investigation indicated Spero, a visiting instructor of modern languages, did not know O'Donnell was a student and she has apologized.

"I acted entirely inappropriately by kicking you, giving vent to a thoughtless knee-jerk political reaction that should never have happened. I apologize for my untoward comments. Before the incident, I did not know you and that you are a Fort Lewis student. I am entirely sorry. I am ashamed of my behavior, and I hope you will accept my apology," Spero said in a letter to O'Donnell dated Oct. 29.

O'Donnell said the apology wasn't enough, and he planned to file a complaint with the college.

"I just think that students are held accountable for how they act and what they do in town. They can have actions brought against them. It is imperative that professors should be held accountable for their actions in town and on campus."

Notice the part of the story that I bolded. To me, that makes me think that there was an understanding that it is okay to assault a fellow instructor for their political beliefs. WTF?!?!? As with all assault, they should be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law. It will only be a misdemeanor, but it is all about standing up for your principles. Never let anyone push you around. Don't get physical, get legal.

2004/10/29

The scariest Halloween costumes.

A Do-It-Yourself Guide to This Season's Quickest, Least Expensive, and Spooky-Ookiest Halloween Costumes

Ralph Nader
Put the fear of God in John Kerry and his Democratic supporters with this easy approximation of Green Party leader/Democratic ticket spoiler Ralph Nader. With just hand-me-down Sunday-best clothes and Grandma's old cocktail wig, you've got yourself a real live Ralph Nader.

Total cost: Free!
Total time: Under 15 minutes.

2004/10/27

Bark at the moon.

Go outside tonight and see the total lunar eclipse. Tonight's eclipse is easy and convenient for much of the world to see. Anyone who can spot a full Moon can see it fade out as the Earth's shadow engulfs it. No protective glasses or expensive telescopes are needed. The total lunar eclipse starts at 9:14 pm Eastern Daylight Time, equivalent to 1:14 am UT in the morning for sky enthusiasts in the United Kingdom. From the moment the first part of the Moon disappears to the moment that the last part of the Moon reappears will be 3 hours and 40 minutes.

2004/10/26

Ms. Manners has definitely left the building.

Okay folks, gotta rant. I try to be considerate of other people, including those I work with. I may not know them, but they get the same courtesy extended to them as I extend to strangers. The polite head nod, the women go first, giving people their space, etc. Well, within 5 minutes, two things happened that really got under my skin.

Imagine about sixty minutes past normal lunch time. (btw, people scheduling lunch-time meetings should be....nevermind). I grab my debit card to hit the in-house ATM before going to the cafeteria. The ATM is located in a little cubby off to the side of a hallway leading to a set of the ground floor restrooms. Looking down the hallway, you have a cubby with the ATM on the right, the stamp machine and the shoe shine guy on the right. Basically, no where to stand other than in front of the machine.

Someone is using the ATM. I don't like being crowded. I don't like crowding people, especially with no room to do so. So, I stand just down the hallway, ATM card ready. I'm on the right side of the hallway, essentially starting an ATM queue. Well, after about five minutes, the person at the ATM isn't finished. Three "ladies" walk down the hall, past me, and stand right behind the person at the ATM. I'm talking 6 to 12 inches away from the person's back. They are all conversing, paying me no mind, crowding the already cramped space. About about another 3 to 5 minutes later, one of them notices me just standing there. She asks if I was waiting for the ATM. At that same moment, the original user says that the ATM is out of order. I reply to the question, "Well, I was. Thanks for noticing." I then turn and walk back to the elevators to run up to the cube to see if I can scrounge some money for lunch.

I come down alone on the elevator, into situation two. Our elevator lobby has six elevators. Sometimes it only feels like three are working. So, on a good day after lunch, the lobby gets crowded. Well, I'm the only one in this particular elevator, standing at the front near the double doors. It gets to ground floor, the doors open. Now, normally, you'd think people would let you off the elevator before trying to board. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. People start to move into the elevator without even looking to see if someone is there first. Again, wrapped up in their little worlds, I guess. Imagine their surprise when they look ahead to see my 6'2" bulk in front of them. I have to actually look down at them and sternly say "Excuse Me!" for them to realize that they need to step aside before I could get off.

Ms. Manners has left the building.

The band goes in the bus, not under it.

Teen songbird Ashlee Simpson had a microphone malfunction on "Saturday Night Live" (oct 23) last night, scurrying off stage when a production glitch caught her lip-synching the wrong tune.

The pop star, younger sister of singer and TV star Jessica Simpson, sounded great belting out "Pieces of Me" in her first segment on the show. It was the same song that she butchered at August's MTV Music Video Awards, drawing withering reviews for a flat, out of key performance.

But the triumphant moment turned into a debacle when she came out to debut the song "Autobiography" for a second set. But whoever was responsible for piping in a studio-engineered rendition for Simpson to mouth screwed up, playing "Pieces" once again.

A still-humiliated Simpson apologized to her fans - and blamed her band for playing the wrong song.

I want to know what the hell she was trying to do by dancing the way she did. It was some sort of contorted irish jig. Still, synch is nothing new to pop acts. Remember the night the tape skipped? It just doesn't seem so dramatic anymore, if the artist recorded the original work. They get lazy, go out, put on a good dance, then synch the concert to give the fans studio quality lyrics. At least the band plays on.

2004/10/25

Check six!

You think you are taking a leisurely stroll through the woods. You check out the flora and fauna. You stop for a bite to eat, not realizing that someone has you in mind for dinner.


2004/10/23

You say tomato, I say that'll be $5 each.

Hurricanes including Charley and Francis, which hit Florida in August and September, forced many of the state's tomato farmers to replant crops that were expected to be sold in November and December, according to Gary Lucier, an economist with the U.S. Department of Agriculture.

As a result, tomato prices in October have risen 167 percent to about $15 for a 25-pound box, Lucier said.

To make matters worse, heavy rain in California this week flooded the state's tomato crops, halting harvests and threatening to put the brakes on a deal, which began last Saturday, for California growers to supply McDonald's restaurants in Japan.

"I have one supplier that's trying to continue but I have two others that can't supply them at all," said Ed Beckman, president of the California Tomato Commission, a trade group for tomato farmers.

But while consumers may not feel the brunt of the tomato shortage while dining out, they are certain to be paying more in supermarkets.

It isn't just the tomatoes either. The damage to Florida's crops from the hurricanes this year will be about $3 billion. Florida lost about half if its grapefruit crops, and about 20% of its oranges. Overall, Florida supplies about 75% of the nations grapefruit, and 50% of the oranges. Those prices have been going up for a while. However, tomatoes are used for a hell of a lot more than the citrus products. I bet Italian and Mexican restaurants will be feeling the pinch the most. When they feel the pinch, so does your wallet.

2004/10/22

Why do gentlemen let ladies go first?

A general, cynical observation to follow. I'd like to think that most males are instructed by their parent(s) that men are supposed to treat women a little more special. This may be old-school thinking, in this day and age of equality. However, I do believe that women enjoy a man paying for their meal, opening a door, and letting them go first. Well, having grown up in the "me" generation, I do believe that men of this era do still adhere to those gentleman's tenants. However, the "me" stands out when you let women go first, because you can stare at their ass as they proceed in front of you.

2004/10/21

Do as we say, not as we flu.

John Kerry's presidential campaign is complaining that Vice President Dick Cheney, a heart patient, received a flu shot this week, even though health officials have urged that only those most vulnerable receive the vaccine.

But apparently team Kerry didn't notice on Monday when Hillary Clinton announced that her heart patient hubby, Bill, also received a flu shot, during an address about the vaccine shortage at a New York City health center.

"Once again, the Bush administration proves that it is the 'do as we say, not as we do' White House," the Kerry campaign said in a statement issued late Wednesday, according to Agence France-Press.

Cheney - a pacemaker-wearing cardiac patient who has had four heart attacks - would fit into the government's definition of those most vulnerable to a looming influenza epidemic, noted AFP.

So would recent quadruple bypass recipient ex-President Clinton.

Again with the "It's okay if we do it, because we know better. Don't you dare do it though". Either way, I just don't understand why people rush out to get flu shots. Oh sure, inject me with the illness that I'm trying to avoid getting, so it can ramp up my immune system. Every time family members get the shots, they get the flu! I'd rather chance not getting it at all rather than getting it on my own timing. Besides, it's a crap shoot anyways, because the CDC has to guess what flu will be coming, and immunize for that one in particular.

2004/10/20

14th Amendment-section 3, and John Kerry


Here's what section 3 says:

No person shall be a Senator or Representative in Congress, or elector of President and Vice President, or hold any office, civil or military, under the United States, or under any State, who, having previously taken an oath, as a member of Congress, or as an officer of the United States, or as a member of any State legislature, or as an executive or judicial officer of any State, to support the Constitution of the United States, shall have engaged in insurrection or rebellion against the same, or given aid or comfort to the enemies thereof. But Congress may by a vote of two-thirds of each House, remove such disability.

But for the purposes of the Treason Clause, and I suspect of section 3, the test isn't simply whether the actions help the enemy, or help the enemy through improper means, or help the enemy through improper means with the knowledge that they will help the enemy. If Kerry's purpose was not to help the North Vietnamese, but to help the United States or to help maintain U.S. compliance with its own laws and policies related to military conduct, then he's not covered. And I have no reason to think that Kerry's purpose was indeed anything other than to help the United States, whether or not his actions in pursuit of that purpose may have been misguided or excessive.

There has been quite a bit of jabbering on the conservative side of the blog-o-sphere concerning John Kerry's eligibility for the Presidency based upon his anti-war actions while still a U.S. Navy officer. Well, sorry folks, but it doesn't look like you can hang him out to dry for treason quite yet. However, there has been some more ruffling of feathers over Kerry's comments about a U.S. soldier's blood is worth it only under a U.N. flag.

2004/10/19

The price of your political views.

California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger said on Monday that his speech backing President Bush at the Republican Convention in August resulted in a dramatic cold shoulder from his wife Maria Shriver, a member of the very Democratic Kennedy family.

"Well, there was no sex for 14 days," Schwarzenegger told former White House Chief of Staff Leon Panetta in an on-stage conversation in front of 1,000 people. "Everything comes with side effects."

The crowd roared with laughter, but the governor may have been serious: he has said little in public to back fellow Republican Bush since then. Panetta, a Democrat, had asked him how Shriver, whose uncle was U.S. President John F. Kennedy, had reacted to his praised but partisan prime-time convention speech.

At least this isn't as bad as the withholding that is being advised by the folks over at Votergasm. However, it is troubling to see that the king of macho men could be humbled by his little wifey (that is sarcasm folks....say it with me....SARCASM). I guess we know who wears the pants in that family. Still, I don't blame him. I bet 14 days gives him adequate time to heal up the bone bruises he gets from humping Skeletor.

2004/10/17

The other side of prostitution.

A local television news anchor was arrested on prostitution charges Thursday.

Darryl Tardy was arrested at Westside Regional Park. Police said the arrest was part of their normal undercover work to eradicate prostitution.

Officers said they chose the park because of complaints from nearby residents. It has also been the site of prior prostitution arrests.

According to a police report, Tardy asked an undercover officer if he was a cop and demanded that he prove that he was not.

Tardy was reportedly arrested after the sheriff's officer refused to expose himself.

Seven men were arrested in the sting. Police emphasized that prostitution is not a victimless crime.

"The problem is, there are children there and it's not right for people to go there to act out their fantasy or what they think they want," said Public Information Officer Ken Jefferson.

Tardy works for First Coast News, WTLV in Jacksonville. The station had no comment on the arrest.

I can't find the original story, but he was not busted for solicitation of prostitution, but for the act of prostitution. He was the 'ho'. Kind of reminds me of the rest area scene from "There's Something About Mary".

2004/10/16

George W. Bush Robs Bank

Police in York County are looking for a bank robber who committed his crime in a George W. Bush Halloween mask.

It happened Thursday night at the Commerce Bank in Manchester Township.

Bank employees said the man had on the mask and a gray sweat suit.

He got away with cash.

Now that is what I call Campaign Finance Reform!

2004/10/15

Laser MAGIC

On a rare foggy night, mysterious laser beams seem to play across the MAGIC telescope at Roque de los Muchachos on the Canary Island of La Palma. The lasers are actually part of a system designed to automatically adjust the focusing of the inovative, seventeen meter wide, multi-mirrored instrument. The MAGIC (Major Atmospheric Gamma Imaging Cherenkov) telescope itself is intended to detect gamma rays - photons with over 100 billion times the energy of visible light. As the gamma rays impact the upper atmosphere they produce air showers of high-energy particles. The MAGIC camera records in detail the brief flashes of optical light, called Cherenkov light, created by the air shower particles that ultimately correspond to cosmic sources of extreme gamma-rays.

From the local geologist, Mr. MF'r, it looks like La Palma might not be the best of places to install sensative equipment. And if that sucker did collapse into the Atlantic, the eastern U.S. could possibly see 50m tall waves. Surf's up, dude!

2004/10/14

Team America - The MoFo Review

Thank God for Team America: World Police, the marionette-o-vision Homeland Security drama from South Park creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone opening nationwide October 15. This movie is more than just therapy for anyone who has missed nights of sleep trying to decide between Empire and Appeasement or allowed their girlfriends to drag them to see Before Sunset: It is a moral vision of America's future delivered by two of our nation's finest political thinkers. It also makes your breath fresh, your teeth whiter, and teaches children their multiplication tables.

In Hollywood, Alec Baldwin's Film Actors Guild-F.A.G.-protests Team America's tactics and unilateral imperialism. "We believe the world needs compassion," Baldwin says on the ABC World News Tonight with Peter Jennings. Additional FAG voices join Baldwin's chorus, including Tim Robbins ("It's all corporations! Corporations!"), George Clooney, Liv Tyler, Janene Garofalo ("If we read the newspaper and then say what's inside, it'll sound like we have opinions!"), Susan Sarandon, Helen Hunt and Sean Penn ("Iraq was a happy, sunny place before Team America! There were rainbows and bunnies and chocolate rivers!"), and, of course, Ethan Hawke.

Of course, according to the ever-accurate Drudge Report, the real-life Penn actually wrote an open letter to Parker and Stone on October 6, not so eloquently opining: "You guys are talented young guys but alas, primarily young guys. . . encourag[ing] irresponsibility that will ultimately lead to the disembowelment, mutilation, exploitation, and death of innocent people throughout the world. All best, and a sincere fuck you, Sean Penn." Sean Penn, of course, knows all about the horrors of disembowelment, mutilation, exploitation, and death.

Naturally Blix warns Jong-Il about the consequences of giving WMDs to terrorist organizations. "We will be very, very angry," Blix says, "and we will write you a letter about it." In response, Jong-Il feeds Blix to his "killer sharks," played here by catfishes that look enormous compared to the marionettes. "How do you like that, Hans Blix?" Jong-Il screams. "How do you like that, you cocksucking piece of shit?"

This is the movie where they had to remove the puppet oral sex scene because it would have been given a NC-17 rating instead. Ah well, Trey and Matt have never been known for their subtlety. They are the creators of South Park, afterall.

2004/10/13

Elvis has left the building with Jake and Elwood.

Police responding to a call of a convulsing Elvis Presley impersonator soon found themselves in a high-speed chase of another faux celebrity — a man dressed as one of the Blues Brothers.

Crystal Police Capt. Dave Oyaas said the bizarre string of events began when officers were called to a veterans hall Monday morning to find a man dressed as Elvis Presley apparently in convulsions.

When the officers approached, Oyaas said the man suddenly jumped up and yelled, "Viva Las Vegas!" before singing show tunes.

At about the same time, two women said another man at the veterans hall dressed as John Belushi's character in "The Blues Brothers" had stolen their car and driven to a nearby airport.

The man led police on a high-speed chase around the airport before officers forced him to stop and arrested him.

"It's one of those things that you stop and scratch your head, and you think that 'Am I seeing what I think I'm seeing?'" Oyaas said.

Oyaas said charges pending against the men could include disorderly conduct, fleeing police and drunken driving.

The men had been drinking together at the VFW before police arrived. Blood tests will show how much, but Oyaas said, "I would venture to say quite a bit."

As if a convulsing Elvis wasn't funny enough, Jake obviously had to get to Chicago to pay for the orphanage. He was "on a mission from God", afterall.

2004/10/11

Goodbye, Superman.

Actor Christopher Reeve, who soared through the air and leapt tall buildings as "Superman," turned personal tragedy into a public crusade, becoming the nation's most recognizable spokesman for spinal cord research — from a wheelchair. Reeve went into cardiac arrest Saturday while at his Pound Ridge home, then fell into a coma and died Sunday at a hospital surrounded by his family, his publicist said. He was 52.

He is a shining example of turning adversity around, and continuing to live life to its fullest extent. He will be sorely missed.


2004/10/10

U.S. Air Force reveals new Space Command badge

The Air Force Space Command has taken the wraps off its new space badge, designed to be worn by both space and missile operations professionals.

The new badge also replaces the missile operations occupational badge, more commonly known as “the pocket rocket,” currently worn by those in the missile operations career fields.

“Just as pilots wear the same badge, whether they fly fighters, bombers, tankers or transports, all very distinct and different missions, our space professionals should wear the same badge to reflect the unity of their mission and capabilities,” said General Lance Lord, commander of the Air Force Space Command at Peterson Air Force Base, Colorado.


That is a very good looking badge. Uniforms get revamped all the time, medals and badges should as well. How long before one of those badges are turned into a Star Trek Communicator?

2004/10/08

Want to participate in an event to break a world record?

Here we go sports fans. This is your chance to be a part of the event of the decade! I'm looking for 150 of my most dedicated fans to help me break the Anal Gangbang World Record. Together I know we can do this! The event is scheduled for October 23rd, 2004, in Los Angeles, California. This page contains all of the information you need to be a part of my World Record Event!

Okay, not to be a pain in the ass, but after it is all said and done, she'll definitely have to stand to receive the recognition. Her goal is 150 guys. IN A ROW! OUCH!

2004/10/07

2004/10/05

Welcome our Insect Overlords!


This image was taken at 10:44 am PDT, on September 28, 2004. We believe the seismic activity on Mount St. Helens increased dramatically about this same time. Coincidence?

It is Vigo....you are like the buzzing of...oh nevermind.

2004/10/04

10 million dollar money shot.

A stubby rocket plane powered its rockets and appeared to blast through the Earth's atmosphere for a second time in two weeks Monday to capture a $10 million prize meant to encourage space tourism.

SpaceShipOne, the rocket plane funded by Microsoft co-founder Paul G. Allen, appeared to top its required altitude within minutes of firing its rockets, said Peter Diamandis, who founded the X Prize eight years ago.

The plane took off from a desert runway early Monday, slung to the belly of a carrier plane with a test pilot at the wheel. It was released at about 46,000 feet and fired its rockets to continue to an altitude of just over 62 miles — generally considered to be the point where the Earth's atmosphere ends and space begins.

If the altitude of 368,000 feet is confirmed, the backers will claim the Ansari X Prize, a $10 million award that goes to the first privately built, manned rocket ship to fly in space twice in a span of two weeks.

Last week, Richard Branson, the British airline mogul and adventurer, announced that beginning in 2007, he will begin offering paying customers flights into space aboard rockets like the SpaceShipOne. He plans to call the service Virgin Galactic.


I defy any government to be able to do the same thing in the same time with the same money. I don't think it can be done. however, you watch for the FAA or some other agency to start tacking rules onto civillian extra-terrestrial travel. I wonder how much salvage could be gotten by pulling down old satellites? Branson funding the travel isn't surprising. He's an adventurous sort anyways.