Things you notice when you are tired.

My wife and I were watching the award show last night. Clint Eastwood just won the "Best Director" Oscar. He gets up, and thanks his 96 year old mother, who is in the audience. Camera close-up on his mom. My wife, who was probably more tired than I was, says "That is his mom? God bless her". Clint's mom smiles for the camera. Lets just say it was a smile that most 96 year olds have, with no teeth. My wife then says "He should buy her some teeth". For some reason, that was just too funny at the time.
Earlier in the night, Chris Rock introduced Gwyneth Paltrow as "the only woman in Hollywood to breast feed an Apple".


Cars you can't afford.

Sometimes the price increases seem like highway robbery. Saleen's S7, this year's most expensive car, costs $120,000 more than it did last year. According to Manhattan Motorcars, Saleen's New York dealer, the price hike is due to modifications to the S7's V-8 engine, whose horsepower is now up to 575 from 550. Assume for argument's sake that's the only reason for the extra $120K on the sticker, and we're talking about a cost of about $5,000 for each additional unit of horsepower. If Honda Motor charged $5,000 per horse, a high-end Civic would cost about $800,000.

Of course, follow the link below and you will realize how each car on the list is aimed at buyers for whom money is as disposable as garbage. That's perhaps why the most expensive cars are sports cars: if you're going to throw away a ton of money, it had better be on something extremely fun.


Jacko gets his jury of peers.

"We have a jury," Judge Rodney S. Melville announced. The judge then began the process of selecting eight alternates for a trial projected to last six months.

The panel consists of four men and eight women, ranging in age from 20 to 79.

Jury selection had been expected to last several weeks, but took only five court days, which were interrupted by a one-week break due to the death of an attorney's sister and another one-week break because Jackson was hospitalized with flu-like symptoms.

The court has not disclosed the races of jurors and lawyers are under a gag order not to discuss the case. According to one public opinion poll, blacks are less inclined to believe the charges against Jackson. The jury seated Wednesday was primarily white and Hispanic and did not appear to include any of the half-dozen black prospective jurors who were in the initial pool.

"Just look around us. A jury of his peers would be people of his age and people of color, mixed diversity," she said. "How diverse is this jury looking to you right now?"

There are white people on the jury. Looks like his "people of color". If they really wanted a jury of his peers, they'd have to find 12 to 16 black pop singers in their 40s. Good luck taking everything literal!

Another good quote from the Carlin calendar:
I've often been safe, but seldom have I been sound.


You can't train for everything.

JACKSONVILLE, Fla. -- Critics asked Jacksonville to hold off on the use of Taser guns, and Tuesday, Sheriff John Rutherford agreed to do just that.

"I am temporarily suspending all use of Tasers," Rutherford said late Tuesday.

Rutherford said the weapons won't be used until officers are trained to recognize the signs of medical conditions of people who could have harmful reactions to the 50,000-volt eletrical shock the stun gun releases.

Last week, noting more than 80 deaths of people after being shocked by the guns, the International Association of Chiefs of Police called for a review of how law enforcement agencies used Taser guns. Amnesty International says 93 people nationwide have died after being shocked.

Rutherford said he stands by Taser guns, and this ban is only temporary, while more training is conducted to make sure they are not used in the wrong situations. The department has ordered 1,800 of the weapons for all its uniformed officers, including resource officers that work in Duval County's schools.

Last month, the sheriff took two shocks from the weapons -- one in a closed training session and on at a news conference -- to demonstrate they are safe.

"There are clearly those who are skeptical on the safety of Tasers," Rutherford said. "Now, I am fully convinced that Tasers are safe."

The problem that people don't realize is that when an officer is trying to use every non-lethal restraint he knows to subdue someone, he probably doesn't have the time to query said individual on their health record. The people that have died from the tasers have had some sort of medical condition that was aggravated by the taser usage. If they are used too frequently, then yes, I think there is an issue with training on when to use them. However, most of the complaints have been not on the when or why, but on whom it was used.

The local sheriff said that he has to send his officers to training to try and identify indicators on a person's health. What's next, make all officers be doctors first? At what point do you just give the officers the tools to keep the peace, and make the uninformed sheeple understand that if you commit a crime or resist arrest, you will be taken down? Products of the "time out" and "spanking harms the inner child" generation indeed!

Quote for today:
As you swim in the river of life, do the breast stroke. It helps to clear the turds from your path.


A little something to get the blood flowing...

...and the wood sporting! Thanks to my dad for the great link. Also click on the links below for some spectacular wallpaper.

One of the main attractions drawing me to the Nellis Air Force Base airshow in 2004 was an appearance by the newest addition to the inventory, the F-22 Raptor, which entered service just a few weeks before the show, at a cost of $258 million dollars each. Although I'd heard that a squadron had been formed at Langley AFB in Virginia, I didn't realize that several of the birds were also stationed here at Las Vegas. However, since Nellis is one of the main testing facilities, I guess I shouldn't have been too surprised.

In five years' time I'm sure we'll probably be sick of the sight of them, but at the moment the Raptor is a terrific novelty. It was great seeing them in action, but the flybys were a very ordinary affair, almost entirely consisting of high flat passes, with only one banking turn while they were in the airshow area, which was away from the crowd and at a great distance from the flightline. Fortunately, however, on the media day before the show I was at the Threat Training Facility in another part of the base, and managed to get this shot while standing on top of a Russian tank! Although it's backlit and a bit soft, it'll have to do until I get something better!

Fighter Wallpaper
Helicopter Wallpaper
Aircraft Wallpaper


Can your phone be hacked? Ask Paris.

Paris Hilton's address book, famously kept on a T-Mobile Sidekick, has been popping up all over the internet after someone managed to figure out her password.

The Drudge Report says that it has confirmed the authenticity of many of the numbers, presumably a polite way of saying they've been crank calling Anna Kournikova and Lindsay Lohan all weekend. The FBI has reportedly opened an investigation.

Files exposed to the world also include Paris' travel habits, airline and hotel preferences, along with her private notes.

The information landed online just days after hacker Nicolas Jacobsen pled guilty to a single charge of intentionally accessing a protected computer and recklessly causing damage. Jacobsen was arrested by US authorities last October, but had had access to T-Mobile's servers for more than a year. He reportedly amused himself by accessing US Secret Service email, and raiding other Sidekick users' accounts.

William Genovese, a friend of Jacobsen's in the hacker community, told Security Focus that Jacobsen sent him pictures of celebrities, purportedly snapped with their camera phones. Genovese faces unrelated charges for allegedly selling leaked Microsoft source code.

While Paris must by now be used to being overexposed online, many of the people in her little black book were less than pleased with the leak. According to the Drudge Report, one starlet said "I gave her my number after we met in Miami, I did not know she f**king kept it on her cellphone!"

Reality TV star Victoria Gotti told New York Daily News that she had received over 100 phone calls in two hours. "It's driving me insane," she said.

Here is Jacobsen's story. The wrong person in the wrong place can cause so much havoc. What if this guy was a terrorist that just happened to have access to T-Mobile accounts? Just remember, you are secure only over what you control. Any activity that involves anyone else just busted through even your best security.


Misc. Friday Ramblings

My name is Friday, and I wear a badge.

Obligatory Friday gun pr0n!
HK-USA made the following post after the 2005 SHOT show. It is quite disheartening for those that would like to partake in centerfire HK goodness.
HK affinity websites and chat rooms, as well as many consumers and dealers expressed their dismay of the change in venue at S.H.O.T. Show. Many expressed concerns over the lack of new products, especially long guns, since the sunset of the Assault Rifle ban. There has been considerable hue and cry for bringing back the HK91, HK93, etc. There was tremendous expectation and assumption that HK would immediately begin entry into the marketplace.

The fact is, the engineering prowess and the machinery for HK long gun product sold 20+ years ago no longer exist, or represent considerable investment and risk in an increasingly uncertain and competitive firearms market. Couple this with costly legal challenges from competitors, and a dollar worth 30% less than the Euro and it is plain that HKI would face considerable challenges to re-enter the centerfire semi auto market. So there is no correlation between the division of the two HK companies and the lack of products to address the post-ban marketplace.

So much for the semi-auto G36 I wanted. *sniff sniff*


Inflamatory remarks

WHEN 35 Greenpeace protesters stormed the International Petroleum Exchange (IPE) yesterday they had planned the operation in great detail.
What they were not prepared for was the post-prandial aggression of oil traders who kicked and punched them back on to the pavement.

“We bit off more than we could chew. They were just Cockney barrow boy spivs. Total thugs,” one protester said, rubbing his bruised skull. “I’ve never seen anyone less amenable to listening to our point of view.”

Protesters conceded that mounting the operation after lunch may not have been the best plan. “The violence was instant,” Jon Beresford, 39, an electrical engineer from Nottingham, said.

“They grabbed us and started kicking and punching. Then when we were on the floor they tried to push huge filing cabinets on top of us to crush us.” When a trader left the building shortly before 2pm, using a security swipe card, a protester dropped some coins on the floor and, as he bent down to pick them up, put his boot in the door to keep it open.

Two minutes later, three Greenpeace vans pulled up and another 30 protesters leapt out and were let in by the others.

They made their way to the trading floor, blowing whistles and sounding fog horns, encountering little resistance from security guards. Rape alarms were tied to helium balloons to float to the ceiling and create noise out of reach. The IPE conducts “open outcry” trading where deals are shouted across the pit. By making so much noise, the protesters hoped to paralyse trading.

But they were set upon by traders, most of whom were under the age of 25. “They were kicking and punching men and women indiscriminately,” a photographer said. “It was really ugly, but Greenpeace did not fight back.”

Mr Beresford said: “They followed the guys into the lobby and kept kicking and punching them there. They literally kicked them on to the pavement.”

Last night Greenpeace said two protesters were in hospital, one with a suspected broken jaw, the other with concussion.

If you can't beat them, you aren't having fun yet. Thanks for the link, Rez.


Schools of thought

Two schools of thought presented today: (1) The constitution is wrong and anyone believing in it today needs mental help. (2) Bush = Hitler in art is a-ok!

Government education facilities at their finest. Why is there so much disdain for the American society? Do we enjoy too much freedom? So much so that we end up as a self-loathing people?

California professor flunks Kuwaiti's pro-U.S. essay
Ahmad Al-Qloushi, a foreign student at Foothill College near San Jose, Calif., said he was told by professor Joseph A. Woolcock to get psychological treatment because of the pro-American views expressed in his essay.

"Apparently, if you are an Arab Muslim who loves America, you must be deranged," said Mr. Al-Qloushi, who feared the failing grade could cost him his student visa.

"I didn't want to be deported for having written a pro-American essay, so as soon as I left his office, I made an appointment with the school psychologist," he said.

The topic chosen by Mr. Al-Qloushi stated that some scholars "contend that the Constitution of the United States was not 'ordained and established' by 'the people' as we have often been led to believe. They contend instead that it was written by a small educated and wealthy elite in America who were representative of powerful economic and political interests. Analyze the U.S. Constitution (original document), and show how its formulation excluded the majority of people living in America at that time, and how it was dominated by America's elite interests."

In his essay, Mr. Al-Qloushi said, "I completely disagree. ... The American Constitution worried monarchs in Europe. The right for men to choose their own representatives was unheard-of in the rest of the world. ... The United States Constitution might have excluded the majority of people at the time. But it progressed, and America, like every nation in the world, progressed ...

"Because of America, the world is free. ... America freed Kuwait and is now currently in a fight to free Iraq and its 25 million residents and vanquish the tyranny and monstrosity of Saddam Hussein."

Mr. Al-Qloushi said Mr. Woolcock "told me to come to his office the next morning." In the meeting, "he verbally attacked me and my essay."

"He told me, 'Your views are irrational. He called me naive for believing in the greatness of this country and told me, 'America is not God's gift to the world. ... You need regular psychotherapy.' "

Bush-Hitler High School Art Wins Award
Jeffrey Eden devised his award-winning project less than 30 minutes after his high school art teacher asked him to express a thought or two in a three-dimensional way.

The award-winning artwork by high school student Jeffrey Eden compares President Bush’s war policies with Adolf Hitler’s pillage of Europe.

So, in the wake of last year’s polarizing election and the war in Iraq, the 17-year-old built an abstract scene comparing President Bush’s war policies with Adolf Hitler’s pillage of Europe.

The student’s diorama-like assemblage juxtaposes Hitler quotes with statements by Mr. Bush, Nazi swastikas with American flags, desert-colored toy soldiers with olive plastic figures. And so on.

Eden said he’s trying to point out certain similarities between the U.S.-led war in Iraq and the German blitzkrieg — without actually equating Hitler to President Bush. In this, the success of his project is debatable.

Eden said the written messages are as important as the visual ones. He thinks they show that the work is comparing Hitler and President Bush — not equating them.


Some one set up her the bomb...

You have no chance to survive, make your time!
In October 14, 2004, when I first saw this tattoo, I was stunned and speechless. It literally means "crazy diarrhea" in both Chinese Hanzi and Japanese Kanji.

狂 = crazy
瀉 = to flow out, diarrhea

One comment from the supposely owner of the tattoo (he/she submitted the comment anonymously and there is no confirmation) claimed that:

"I knew pretty much what it meant and got it as a joke to people who get stupid shit tattooed onthemselves without knowing what it was. Though yes I thought it meant violent diarrhea, crazy diarrhea isn't too far off. I had help from an asian friend of mine to pick this out."

I wonder if this is the same person, or there has been a "crazy diarrhea" cult spawned.

Inspired by "All Your Base Belongs To Us" animation, I would like you, the fans of Hanzi Smatter, to come up some clever ways and locations to place this cult-classic tattoo.


Southern Food Frustrates Health Officials

Picked up some sort of stomach bug over the weekend, so I thought I'd share a little story about some food I won't be able to eat for a while...
When Becky Cleaveland is out with her girlfriends, they all pick at salads except for the petite Atlanta woman. She tackles "The Hamdog."

The dish, a specialty of Mulligan's, a suburban bar, is a hot dog wrapped by a beef patty that's deep fried, covered with chili, cheese and onions and served on a hoagie bun. Oh yeah, it's also topped with a fried egg and two fistfuls of fries.

"The owner says I'm the only girl who can eat a whole one without flinching," Cleaveland said proudly.

Amid a national obesity epidemic and the South's infamous distinction as the "Stroke Belt," health officials have been trying to get diners to flinch, at least a little, at the region's trademark fried and fatty foods.

But nutritionists have found it's hard to teach an old region new tricks. How can Southerners give up delicious staples fried chicken, fried seafood, fried green tomatoes and cornbread slathered in butter?

"Flavor is a big issue - when you modify Southern cooking, then you lose a lot of the flavor," said Laurita Burley, a clinical nutrition instructor at the Morehouse School of Medicine. "The reputation of the Southern cook is at risk when you begin to modify it."

"One of the common things in the South is that you fry everything," said Dr. Nicholas Lang, chief of staff of the Central Arkansas Veterans Healthcare System in Little Rock. "It's a major grease-transport mechanism - there's no idea how much calories you get when you get that."


A reason why I'm glad Florida still has the death sentence.

See the *edit for the latest.
The mother of a newborn boy who survived being tossed out of a moving car has been identified and interviewed by investigators, authorities said Friday.

"It is my belief … that this person is the birth mother of the child," Broward County Sheriff Ken Jenne told reporters.

The boy, believed to be less than an hour old, was thrown out of a car alongside a busy street Thursday afternoon, police said.

The 8-pound, 2-ounce boy, whose umbilical cord was still attached, survived with minor injuries and was hospitalized in good condition Friday. Nurses at the hospital have nicknamed the child Johnny.

State law lets a mother leave a baby at any medical facility or fire station within three days of birth without any questions asked.

"That provides parents or women with an option. You don't have to just abandon your child in way that would endanger his or her life," said Veda Coleman-Wright, a sheriff's office spokeswoman.

A woman stopped and found the baby inside a small plastic bag. She scooped him up and took him to a nearby sheriff's office, and he was transferred to Broward General Medical Center.

The good Samaritan, who originally thought the couple had thrown a puppy out the window, was "very distraught, very upset," Jenne said. The woman's name was not released.
The woman made up the story. It was her baby, and it wasn't thrown out of a car. Yes, I'm still glad Florida has the death sentence.

Baby story that ends with one for the good guys.
Was a Northern Kentucky woman trying to kill a pregnant woman and cut the baby out of her womb, only to have the pregnant woman turn the knife on her in a fight to the death?

Police are investigating that possibility after a fatal stabbing in a Fort Mitchell apartment Thursday afternoon.

The pregnant woman, Sarah Brady, 26, suffered only minor defensive cuts, reported WLWT-TV. The baby, which was due Friday, is OK.

The alleged attacker, Katie Smith, 22, died at a hospital, police said.


Misc. Friday Ramblings

Friday, bloody Friday...
  • It's Photoshop Phriday. Buy this stuff or we shoot the dog.

  • Pretty awesome bird. Sounds like she's doing a Michael Winslow impression.

  • We go all the way to Mars, and junk up the place.

  • Saturn is all blue. I guess it is the litter thing with Mars.

  • World of Warcraft Keeps Growing. Too bad they still can't get what's there working for the all US clients.

  • Funny thing heard on the way home from work on the local talking-head radio station. I think it was Sean Hannity. Someone had called in referring to the current North Korean nuclear situation. Said that they followed the wisdom of the Dali Lama. Everyone should disarm; no one should have nukes. The conversation goes something like the following:
    "Okay fine, they should the US disarm if the Koreans won't".
    The caller responds with "everyone should".
    "But should the US take the lead and disarm if the North Koreans don't"
    "Wait, so there should be nukes then?"
    "No, everyone should disarm."
    "But if everyone isn't willing to, should the US go ahead and do it?"
    "So then, no one will disarm because they don't trust each other."
    ".....I've gotta go *click*"
    I think they saw the light. Sometimes you just need to bounce stuff off another person to find your own answers.

  • Yahoo wins, France loses again.
    "If American companies have to worry that foreign judgments entered against them might be enforceable, it could end up with companies censoring their Web sites," said Mary Catherine Wirth, senior corporate council at Yahoo and a professor at University of California Hastings College of The Law.

    Jeffrey Pryce, a lawyer specializing in Internet and international suits in the Washington office of Steptoe & Johnson LLP, emphasized that decisions to revisit cases are rare, suggesting that the new panel of judges may be inclined to rule that Yahoo needn't comply with French laws on its U.S. sites.

    It may not be the "socially" right thing to do, but Yahoo! is well within their rights to choose what they want to host.

Obligatory Friday gun pr0n!
Posted on THR, this is the Accuracy International AWP in .308.
Built by Accuracy International of Portsmuth, England, this line of rifles is among the best in the World of sniper rifles today. This rifle can shot less than 2" (51mm) groups at the distances of 600 yards (550m), using boat-tail match ammunition. Arctic Warfare is a line of 5 rifles. Original Arctc Warfare was designed for the British military. It gained its designation by special anti-icing features, allowing sniping operations to be carried out under Arctic conditions as low as -40C (-104F)! Other models are Police (AWP), Suppressed (AWS), Folding (AWF) and Super Magnum (AW SM). Three first rifles designed for 7.62mm NATO ammunition, while Super Magnum can be chambered in .338 Lapua Magnum, .300 Winchester Magnum and 7mm Remington Magnum. AW has a 26" (660mm) barrel, AWP has 24" (609mm). AW SM barrels available in lentths from 24" (609mm) to 27" (686mm). The standart scopes supplied by Accuracy International are Smidt&Bender 3-12X variable or the Leupold Mark 4 fixed 10X scope.


Man Charged in 'Female Athlete' Scam

Zimbabwe police have charged a man with masquerading as a female athlete after he competed as a woman at several international sports events, the official Herald newspaper reported Wednesday.

The paper said the man, a triple jumper and runner who also competed at javelin and shot put, faced charges of impersonation and offending the dignity of a woman athlete who undressed in his presence not realizing he was a man.

The Herald said he won a gold medal at a regional tournament in Botswana last June and won five medals at a youth championship in Mauritius.

The man told the court at his first appearance that he had been born with both female and male organs, and that he lived as a woman after consulting a traditional healer. But the Herald said a medical examination had shown he was male.

I wonder if he is also a rugby fan.

As an aside, Ken came up with another one of those quizes: The Loser Quiz. The farting question did me in...

I am 52% loser. What about you? Click here to find out!


Toughest sports fan in the world.

Rugby fan cut off his own testicles

A Welsh rugby fan cut off his own testicles after his team beat England, police confirmed today.

The man was rushed to hospital after the incident at Leigh Social Club in Caerphilly, South Wales.

A Gwent Police spokeswoman said: "We received a call from the ambulance service at approximately 9pm on the 5th to inform us of a situation at the Leigh Social Club in which a man had indeed severed his own testicles."

She said the man was taken to Heath Hospital but could not confirm his condition.

It was reported that the man told his friends: "If Wales win I'll cut my own balls off."

After the 11-9 victory in the Six Nations clash, the man is reported to have gone outside and severed his testicles before bringing them back into the club to show fellow drinkers.

A local was reported as saying that the man was on medication and should not have been drinking.

Oh yeh, on medication and should not have been drinking indeed. OUCH! Okay, he wins for toughest sports fan. However, I can't help but think about the STP song Creep, with a chorus that goes "He's half the man he used to be...".

thanks to Rez and TLXS for the linkage.


Why people no longer do nice things for their neighbors.

The story unfolded when teens Taylor Ostergaard, 17, and Lindsey Jo Zellitti, decided to bake chocolate chip and sugar cookies and place them outside their neighbors' doors with large red or pink construction-paper hearts that carried the message, "Have a great night" and were signed with their first initials: "Love, The T and L Club."

The trouble began when they approached the home of Wanita Renea Young, 49. Young said she heard someone banging on the door of her rural home late in the evening. She went to the door and saw "shadowy figures" but they refused to answer when she called out to them.

The teens said they did not answer when the woman called out because they wanted the treats to be a surprise.

Young said she was so frightened, she spent the night at her sister's home, then went to the hospital the next morning because she was still shaking and had an upset stomach.

The teens offered to pay Young's medical bills but she insisted on going to small claims court. Judge Doug Walker, after hearing the teens' explanation, awarded medical costs but declined to order punitive damages.

"The victory wasn't sweet," Young said. "I'm not gloating about it. I just hope the girls learned a lesson."

Meanwhile, Richard Ostergaard, father of Taylor, got a restraining order against Young's husband, Herb, in county court, claiming he continues to make harassing telephone calls to the Ostergaard residence.

Wanita Young said, "This has turned into quite a fiasco. It's something that never should have happened and it's just devastating. My phone hasn't stopped ringing. My life has been threatened and I'll probably have to move out of town."

Other coverage of this story has the two girls dropping off the baskets around 10:30pm. That is quite late. If you knock at my door that late at night, I am coming armed, because I don't expect visitors at that time. However, regardless of their antics, they were just being nice. They even offered to take on the woman's medical bills. Alas, she continued to take them to court, and won medical costs. Now, because of the story coverage, she's being painted as an ogre, shunned by the community.

And you wonder why people don't get to know their neighbors anymore.


Misc. Friday Ramblings

It's my Friday, and I'll cry if I want to...
  • Holographic Versatile Disc. One Tera-byte of storage versus a standard DVD of 4.7 gB. That's a lot of pr0n!

  • Woman Accused of Giving Lethal Sherry Enema.
    Tammy Jean Warner, 42, gave Michael Warner two large bottles of sherry on May 21, which raised his blood alcohol level to 0.47 percent, or nearly six times the level considered legally drunk in Texas, police detective Robert Turner in Lake Jackson, Texas, told the Houston Chronicle.

    "We're not talking about little bottles here," Turner said. "These were at least 1.5-liter bottles."

    Warner, 58, was said to have an alcohol problem and received the wine enema because a throat ailment left him unable to drink the sherry, Turner told the newspaper.

  • It's Photoshop Phriday! More historical innaccuracies.

  • "From Downtown". Nice shot from the opposite key.

  • One reason why I think hockey is a better sport than football, except for this damn strike bullshit.

  • If you get a boob job, get a money-back guarantee. NSFW or boob lovers.

Obligatory Friday gun pr0n!

The Robinson Armament Co. XCR Modular Weapon System.
The XCR Modular Weapon System was designed specifically for the U.S. Special Forces. The goal was to design a rifle which was as reliable and durable as an AK47 but which had the ergonomics, accuracy, and accessory options of an M4 Carbine. What we ended up with is a rifle which is as reliable and durable as an AK47, but which has better ergonomics, accuracy, and accessory attachment options than the M4, combined with the ability to quickly and efficiently change barrels and calibers.

The XCR has a completely new, proprietary, and patent pending bolt system and extractor which are stronger and more durable than those of any Stoner type M16/M4 bolt system. The XCRTM was specifically designed to fire the 5.56x45mm (.223) as well as the New 6.8 Remington SPC Cartridge. The XCR is now available now in both these calibers. A .308 version will be available later this year. The following are some of the important features of the XCR.


I'm the king kamehameha nerd!

Again, shout out to Ken for this test. Okay, I'm a nerd. I knew Kepler and Newton. I know bits and pieces of the periodic table. I game online on Friday nights when the wifey and lil one are asleep. I have a graphic calculator. Also, I probably make more than you so ... neener neener.

I am nerdier than 85% of all people. Are you nerdier? Click here to find out!


Go Ahead, Bash Jacksonville

Big thanks to Ken for this one.

1. Jacksonville's original name was Cowford, a Timucuan Indian word meaning "hot, flat boring place by the river."
2. Jacksonville: Conveniently located near South Georgia.
3. Yes, we're small. But we are the second biggest city in the country with a "ville" in its name, behind only Hooterville, home to Uncle Joe, the Petticoat Junction girls and Arnold the pig.
4. Yup, that's downtown. That's all there is. There isn't any more.
5. There are so places to eat after midnight. You got a problem with waffles?
6. There are multiple dining options in Jacksonville: Fried or smothered in barbecue sauce. Or both. On waffles.
7. Strip clubs here have either nudity and no alcohol, or alcohol and no nudity. City council members spent the better part of January discussing how many square inches of buttocks could be exposed by bikini dancers. Some fun, huh?
8. As unbelievably grim as it is here for you glamorous out-of-town journalists, we're actually all spiffed up for our big date with the Super Bowl. You should see us in the morning, without our makeup on. Man, oh man.
9. Is Jacksonville Southern? Put it this way: We have public schools named for Robert E. Lee, Jeb Stuart and Nathan Bedford Forrest (one of the founders of the KKK).
10. There really are Confederate flags in the windows of pickup trucks. We can vouch for that.
11. Sure, it's unbearably hot nine months of the year. But it's a wet heat.
12. "Cute" is probably not the highest praise a Super Bowl city could ask for its airport.
13. Jacksonville's as red as red-state America gets. And if you have a problem with that, you must be a girly-man, defeatist ultra-liberal who hates America.
14. Even Orlando likes to make fun of us. Orlando! Our response: "Yeah, well ... um ... uh ... Mickey Mouse!"
15. When we want to make fun of someplace, we pick on Yulee. Hardly a fair fight, but that's the way we like it.
16. Since they fixed the paper mills, it doesn't smell anymore. Not as much anyway. Unless the wind's blowing down from Yulee (or the Norwood area).
17. Yes, that's an ocean 15 miles east of here. But they built the city on a river. Go figure.
18. Jacksonville is so backward, the river runs north.
19. There are lots of things for tourists to do here. It's called St. Augustine.
20. You weren't mistaken: Somebody just called you "honey." (Admit it: You liked it.)
21. True fact: The college radio station in town plays easy-listening music.
22. At last count, 18 radio stations were vying for the honor of being called Jacksonville's classic-rock station.
23. The remaining three stations play today's country hits, all the time.
24. There are two kinds of homeowners in Jacksonville: Those who say they have cockroaches, and those who are liars.
25. That cool Skyway tram you see running through downtown? It doesn't go to stadium. Or the arena. Or the ballpark. Or The Jacksonville Landing. But it does connect a couple of really big parking lots.
26. Jag-wars? Jag-wires? We're still making up our minds.
27. Lynyrd Skynyrd, Molly Hatchet and .38 Special all came from Jacksonville. Notice a trend?
28. Limp Bizkit too. Our bad.
29. Just like in other cities, concertgoers here hold up cigarette lighters and chant: "Free Bird!" Only we're not being ironic.
30. Jacksonville is so boring, even hurricanes won't come here.
31. The biggest landmark downtown is First Baptist Church. At least we know they aren't going to go out of business.
32. Can't find a cab? Don't feel bad. Jacksonville natives have never seen one either. "That's one o' them yeller cars, right?"
33. Last call in this town is 2 a.m. However,get-your-butt-kicked-because-you-looked-at-my- girlfriend-the-wrong-way-time is right around 1:45 a.m.
34. Yes, that was a restaurant sign you saw that said "Chinee-Takee-Outee."
35. A strip mall for every taste.
36. There's a slight sprawl problem. Wherever you are, you're 25 minutes from wherever you want to be.
37. Sweet Home Alabama invariably gets the biggest cheers at a Jaguars game. And we don't even like Alabama.
38. Jaguars games almost never sell out. We're too busy doing, um, ah, all kinds of other exciting stuff instead.
39. The city recently chose a new slogan: Where Florida Begins. Runner-up slogan? The City That Sleeps

Welcome to Jacksonville, where the First Baptist Church has more power than the mayor, city council, or any developers. Oh yeh, they have a lighthouse on their parking garage downtown. Gaudy, but what do you expect from Baptists.


Not getting the bang for your buck.

Prosecutor Mugged After Calling Escort Service
An assistant state attorney general was hit with pepper spray and mugged after he called an escort service to a hotel, police said.

Assistant Attorney General John Rimes was beaten and robbed of about $500 on Thursday while staying at the Hilton Tampa Airport Westshore, according to a Tampa police report released Monday.

Rimes, 54, was treated at St. Joseph's Hospital until Sunday, hospital officials said.

The police report states that two women arrived at Rimes' hotel room late Thursday after he called an escort service for female companionship.

Police said Rimes had $200, but the women told him he needed more. He went to an ATM and withdrew $300.

After Rimes returned, someone knocked on his hotel room door. Rimes saw a well-dressed man through the peephole and opened the door, police said.

That's when the man used pepper spray on Rimes, beat him and took the money, police said. The women left, and guests who were affected by the spray called security, the report said.

I guess he never saw the movie Risky Business. First off, escort service? If you are that hard up, $20 on Phillips Hwy will get your some service. Secondly, if you agree on a price, and they ask for more, chances are you aren't leaving a satisfied customer. Third, a guy comes to the door and you open it? Use the peephole! Ah well, three strikes and you're out. Sweet irony would have been if the police would have arrested him for calling the escort service to begin with.