Merry Christmas

Don't work too hard...


Happy Festivus

Festivus for the rest of us.


Woman Asked To Smell Husband's Genitalia

An arrest warrant has been issued for a man accused of assaulting his wife after she asked to smell his genitalia to find out if he was cheating on her, according to a police report obtained Wednesday by WPBF News 25.

The 37-year-old victim told Port St. Lucie police her husband of three years punched her in the face and kicked her in the arms and legs Monday night after she accused him of having an affair.

The victim said she told her 25-year-old husband to display his genitalia while he was using the bathroom "so that she can smell it," the report stated.

As she attempted to smell it, he punched her in the mouth and kicked her after she fell to the floor, the report stated. He then ran from the scene.

Police said they took photographs of the victim's injuries and that she became uncooperative when told a warrant would be filed for her husband's arrest.

I don't know. This all sounds a bit fishy to me. It just doesn't pass the sniff test.


Survey: Many would take Internet over sex

From CNN:
Nearly half of the women questioned by Harris Interactive said they'd be willing to forgo sex for two weeks, rather than give up their Internet access, according to a study released Monday by Intel, which commissioned the survey.

While 46 percent of the women surveyed were willing to engage in abstinence versus losing their Internet, only 30 percent of the men surveyed were willing to do likewise.

The U.S. survey, which queried 2,119 adults last month, found that the gap grew even wider for both men and woman who were 18 to 34 years old. For woman, the percentage of those willing to skip the sheets in favor of the Web rose to 49 percent, while it climbed to 39 percent for men.

And for women 35 to 44 years old, the figure jumped to 52 percent.

And TV, which has been losing its share of eyeball time to the Internet over the years, found that the majority of adults would be willing to forgo two weeks of watching TV versus losing one week on the Internet.

Of course when it comes to TV, perhaps size matters, at least according to a different survey earlier this year of Britons conducted by electronics retailer Comet. Almost half of the men polled said they would give up sex for six months in return for a 50-inch plasma TV, according to Reuters.

Well, this is interesting. I guess folks don't realize that the internet is for porn, thus you can get sex (at least with yourself). :P


Worse "Dear Santa" letter ever

From the Star-Telegram:
A 9-year-old girl’s letter to Santa Claus asking that a relative stop touching her sister and her has led to the arrest of a 55-year-old Pharr man, authorities reported.

Andres Enrique Cantu, 55, of Pharr, faces a charge of continuous sexual abuse of a young child, The Monitor of McAllen reported.

Cantu remained in the Hidalgo County Jail on Monday night. His bail was set at $100,000.

The charge is a new one, created by the Texas Legislature last year as one of the changes in the penal code under Jessica’s Law, which was designed to give longer sentences to sexual predators.

The girl wrote the letter Thursday and turned it in at Cesar Chavez Elementary School.

According to a arrest-warrant affidavit, a school counselor saw the letter and reported what was in it to police.

On Friday, the girl was interviewed at the Children’s Advocacy Center in Edinburg, which works with abused children.

She described the abuse in more detail, including that it occurred at night in the girls’ bedroom while other family members were sleeping.

Investigators believe that the girls were molested for four years, according to the affidavit.

There isn't a prison sentence long enough.


Unemployed pirates looking for work

From KTLA:
Disneyland management has fired the four actors who played pirate Jack Sparrow because officials were worried about young female park-goers flashing the swashbuckling actors late at night, according to one former cast member.

"They lost control when they saw Jack Sparrow," said former pirate Brandon Pinto, who left the role after a dispute with management a year ago. "This is a sexy, rock-star pirate."

The pirate actors said they were told they were no longer needed at about the same time that additional fairies were added to the park's cast, presumably to promote Disney's new movie "Tinkerbell."

Disneyland officials confirmed that the pirate was indeed fired (due to declining relevance and diminishing visitor requests), but flatly denied published reports that the dismissal had anything to do with female fans flashing their breasts at the swashbuckling actors who portray Jack Sparrow at the Anaheim theme park.

At least they didn't work near Flash...er, Splash Mountain.


Come to Vegas

From Yahoo:
The tiny town of Cranfills Gap really needs a vacation.

At least that's the opinion of Las Vegas tourism officials, who've decided to fly nearly half of the 350 residents to the desert playground as part of a five-day getaway and publicity stunt.

Up to 120 people — those who could get off work and were over age 21 — will fly in one jet to Sin City next weekend and stay in swanky hotels, eat at fancy restaurants and see glitzy shows — all for free. The catch: They'll be followed the entire time by video cameras for tourism commercials to air early next year.

They won't get any spending money if they want to gamble or shop during their few hours of free time each day. But for many in the town with only two stop signs and no traffic lights about 75 miles southwest of Fort Worth, it's a perfect pre-holiday getaway.

You know, I really don't have anything snarky to say about this. I just hope it doesn't end up as a CMT reality show, like My Big Redneck Wedding.


More food assaults

From TCPalm:
A Vero Beach man is accused of assaulting his girlfriend multiple times with a McDonald's cheeseburger, according to his arrest affidavit.

The woman told the Indian River County Sheriff's Office she was sitting a car in front of the home she shares with Vincent Gonzalez, 22, of the 300 block of 12th Road, Vero Beach. The couple began arguing and Gonzalez would not allow her to leave the car.

The woman threw Gonzalez's drink out of the car, the report said. In response, Gonzalez grabbed the woman's arm and forced the cheeseburger into her face. Both of them stepped out of the vehicle and Gonzalez smashed the cheeseburger again into the woman's face.

Please, won't someone think of the food?

Food assaults

< Seinfeld impersonation >What the hell is up with the food assaults lately?< /Seinfeld impersonation >

First, there is a woman in Jcksonville who used grits as a weapon. From News4Jax:
According to investigators, Velinda Taylor threw the grits on her sister while they were having an argument. They said the victim blocked her face but the grits burned her back.

The victim, Sharon Ashley, said she and Taylor had been in a fight when she was burned with the grits.

"When I closed the door, it hit me. It was heat. It stuck all over me. I couldn't do nothing. I tried to pull a clump off me, then I just laid down," Ashley said. "It stuck up on me real bad and I was sore, in flames. Sore and inflamed."

Now, there is a man accused of assault with a sweet potato pie. From WPBF TV:

Martin County Sheriff's Office deputies arrested a Hobe Sound man who threw a sweet potato pie in his girlfriend's face because he didn't like the food, according to an arrest report.

Christopher Ford, 46, was charged with one count of domestic battery for the Thanksgiving Day incident.

According to the report, Ford came home and asked Valencia Rose, 37, for something to eat. But Ford was upset about the food his seven-year live-in girlfriend fixed for him and they got into an argument in the kitchen.

So Ford picked up the sweet potato pie his girlfriend had recently removed from the oven and threw it in her face, according to the report.


Pentagon researching guided-bullet tech

From Wired:
Darpa, the Defense Department's far-out research arm, announced a pair of contracts last Tuesday, to start designing a super, .50-caliber sniper rifle that fires guided bullets. Lockheed Martin received $12.3 million for the "Exacto," or Extreme Accuracy Tasked Ordnance, project, while Teledyne Scientific & Imaging got another $9.5 million.

Darpa won't say, publicly, how far, how long and how accurate they want the new bullets to be — all that information is classified. But they will say that Exacto should contain a next-gen scope, a guidance system that provides information to direct the projectile, an "actively controlled .50-caliber projectile that uses this information for real-time directional flight control," and a rifle. "Technologies of interest may include: fin-stabilized projectiles, spin-stabilized projectiles, internal and/or external aero-actuation control methods, projectile guidance technologies, tamper proofing, small stable power supplies, and advanced sighting, optical resolution and clarity technologies."

Gene Simmons called, he wants his ammo back.


Cost of the 12 days of Christmas

From News4Jax:

Prices of items in the Christmas carol "The Twelve Days of Christmas," according to PNC Wealth Management:

  1. Partridge, $20 (last year: $15) and Pear Tree, $200 (last year: $150)
  2. Two Turtle Doves, $55 (last year: $40)
  3. Three French Hens, $30 (last year: $45)
  4. Four Calling Birds (canaries), $600 (last year: same)
  5. Five Gold Rings, $350 (last year: $395)
  6. Six Geese a-Laying, $240 (last year: $360)
  7. Seven Swans a-Swimming, $5,600 (last year: $4,200)
  8. Eight Maids a-Milking, $52 (last year: $47)
  9. Nine Ladies Dancing (per performance), $4,759 (last year: same)
  10. 10 Lords a-Leaping (per performance), $4,414 (last year: $4,285)
  11. 11 Pipers Piping (per performance), $2,285 (last year: $2,213)
  12. 12 Drummers Drumming (per performance), $2,475 (last year: $2,398)


Day of Listening

From StoryCorps:
StoryCorps is declaring November 28, 2008 the first annual National Day of Listening.
This holiday season, ask the people around you about their lives — it could be your grandmother, a teacher, or someone from the neighborhood. By listening to their stories, you will be telling them that they matter and they won’t ever be forgotten. It may be the most meaningful time you spend this year.

Unforunately, the most listening people will be doing today will be to either the mall traffic report or the store announcer saying the location of the next blue light special. Damn materialistic bastards.


It's coming right for us!

From APOD:
What if you're driving down the street and an object from space shoots across the sky right in front of you? Such was the case last week for many people in south central Canada. Specifically, an extremely bright fireball, presumably a desk-sized meteor from deep space, flashed across the sky just after sunset on 2008 November 20. The bright fireball was recorded on many images and movies, including the spectacular video shown above that was captured by a dashboard camera of a police cruiser in Edmonton, Alberta, Canada.


Flush your cares away. It's World Toilet Day.

World Toilet Organization (WTO) stands up for the 3 "WE (s)" in the theme "We Deserve Better".

WE: Toilets deserve better social status. WTO has been striving to elevate the status of toilets to make them status symbols and objects of desire. WTO speaks on behalf of toilets "WE DESERVE BETTER SOCIAL STATUS".

WE: The second WE are the toilet cleaners. WTO aims to professionalize the sanitation and restroom industry and to upgrade the skill sets of the restoom cleaners. WTO speaks on behalf of the toilet cleaners "WE DESERVE BETTER PAY, RESPECT AND PROSPECTS".

WE: WTO speaks on behalf of 2.5 billion toilet-less people, "WE DESERVE BETTER PLACES TO DEFECATE -- PROPER TOILETS".


Ramping up your marriage

From Dailystar:
THE world’s fattest man has finally managed to consummate his marriage after friends built him a “sex ramp”.

Tubby Manuel Uribe, 43, slimmed down to 47st for his wedding to Claudia Solis, 38, two weeks ago.

He was carted to the ceremony on a flatbed truck but was unable to have his wedding night fun.

So pals constructed a three-foot ramp, reinforced with concrete, allowing him to raise the lower half of his body.

This enabled his new bride to have greater access to his private parts.

The idea for the ramp came from US company Liberator, which makes a variety of bouncy ramps so regular-sized couples can try new sex positions.

Liberating indeed.

SF 4 is coming


Turning a lemon into cake

From Autoblog:
The eBay auction for this 1963 Pontiac LeMans Tempest started out innocently enough. Obtained after owner died. Appears to have original interior but no motor, no transmission. Body has a little rust and some dents. There's stuff in the trunk, but no key to open it. Opening bid nine days ago was a mere $500. After one week, eBay seller 123ecklin will pocket $226,521 before auction fees. What happened between Day 1 and Day 9 is an amazing story.

The car's plexiglass windows, unusual suspension setup and a dash plate bearing the name of a racetrack tipped the owner to its racing history. But what he didn't know is that the car is one of only six 1963 Pontiac LeMans Tempest Super Duty coupes ever made. Hemmings recently did a story on the rare cars in which they listed all ever built. This one looks to have been driven by Stan Antlocer and was the fastest drag car in 1963 before disappearing.

If life hands you a lemon, put it on ebay and profit!


Resort goes nude to combat downturn

From Stuff:
An Australian holiday resort will hold a month-long, nude "anything goes" party to combat an expected economic downturn.

"Tough economic times call for stiff measures," Tony Fox, the owner of the White Cockatoo resort in Mossman, in tropical Queensland state, told the Courier-Mail newspaper.

"It will be a hedonism resort, where anything goes for a month. It doesn't take rocket science to work out what it means," Fox said, naming March as the risque party month.

Stiff measures indeed...


Witchdoctor crackdown

From BBC:
Police in southern Tanzania say they have arrested a man accused of attempting to sell his albino wife.

The man was allegedly planning to sell his wife to two Congolese businessmen for around $3,000.

Albinos have been living in fear in Tanzania after a series of killings due to a belief their body parts can make magic potions more effective.

At least 27 people with albinism have been killed since March, including a seven-month old baby.

President Jakaya Kikwete ordered a police crackdown on those involved in the killings, and 170 witchdoctors have since been arrested.

If they want to be conduits to the forces of nature, they should follow Shatner's lead.


The Phoenix has risen for the last time

From NASA:
NASA's Phoenix Mars Lander has ceased communications after operating for more than five months. As anticipated, seasonal decline in sunshine at the robot's arctic landing site is not providing enough sunlight for the solar arrays to collect the power necessary to charge batteries that operate the lander's instruments.

Mission engineers last received a signal from the lander on Nov. 2. Phoenix, in addition to shorter daylight, has encountered a dustier sky, more clouds and colder temperatures as the northern Mars summer approaches autumn. The mission exceeded its planned operational life of three months to conduct and return science data.

The project team will be listening carefully during the next few weeks to hear if Phoenix revives and phones home. However, engineers now believe that is unlikely because of the worsening weather conditions on Mars. While the spacecraft's work has ended, the analysis of data from the instruments is in its earliest stages.

© Carmen Colombo1996

Out of my ashes
will rise a new phoenix.

A soaring being
returning from death
proving once again
that life is eternal.

I live forever
because the spirit
never dies.

I will return
in another body
in another time,
but it is me.

The me who is me now
will always be.

As long as I live,
I learn.
And I live
F o r e v e r

Here's your sign..er headline...

Unaware Police Carry Guns, Mountain Lion Charges at Officer

Arcadia police fatally shot a 140-pound mountain lion that killed a dog Wednesday in an Arcadia backyard, then charged at an officer, police said. The encounter near the Angeles National Forest in the 2200 block of Canyon Road occurred shortly after someone reported the big cat in their back yard about 7:50 p.m., Arcadia police Lt. Larry Goodman said. An Australian shepherd that belonged to the residents was barking at the cougar, then suddenly fell quiet, he said. When the officers entered the backyard, they saw the mountain lion standing over the dog. The cat then charged at the officers, prompting them to open fire, he said.


Change is here.

From O's page on Urban Pacification...er, Policy:
Address Gun Violence in Cities: As president, Barack Obama would repeal the Tiahrt Amendment, which restricts the ability of local law enforcement to access important gun trace information, and give police officers across the nation the tools they need to solve gun crimes and fight the illegal arms trade. Obama and Biden also favor commonsense measures that respect the Second Amendment rights of gun owners, while keeping guns away from children and from criminals who shouldn't have them. They support closing the gun show loophole and making guns in this country childproof. They also support making the expired federal Assault Weapons Ban permanent, as such weapons belong on foreign battlefields and not on our streets.

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

OH, look at that, the website is down. Thanks Google Cache.

Thank You


Happy Birthday USMC

From Marines.Mil:



Home Owner's Associations suck

From FirstCoastNews:
It was supposed to be a very special homecoming. After being in Iraq 15 months, SPC Lauren Boitet was going to see her family.

"I'm just glad to be home," says SPC Lauren Boitet.

The family was rolling out the red carpet, so to speak, but the homecoming was dampened by the homeowner association rules.

"They removed the welcome home signs and balloons and flags," says Natalie Boitet.

Boitet says when they tried to recover the signs it turned into a confrontation with the association manager.

The Boitet family says the signs could have stayed up for a couple of hours. They say in the past the association had ignored other signs.

"There have been signs for birthdays and parties and they've never taken them down," says Dyan Boitet.

Boitet says there has to be exceptions to the rules.

Alan Williams is President of the Pace Island Homeowners Association. He said the problem is the signs and where they were located. Williams says flags are exempt from HOA rules.

Williams says the signs were in common areas and a resident complained that they could be viewed as political and supporting the war. Williams says that's why the signs were removed.

The association president says there are exceptions.

Williams says any resident can pick up the phone and call any board member for prior approval.

Williams says that did not happen.

Dyan Boitet says he will propose changes to the association rules at its next meeting.

Reason why I'll always own my own land and housing. I will never have some neighbor tell me what I can or can't do with my house or land. If you live under a HOA, it's your own damn fault.


Tragedy at gun show

From Yahoo News:
With an instructor watching, an 8-year-old boy at a gun fair aimed an Uzi at a pumpkin and pulled the trigger as his dad reached for a camera.

It was his first time shooting a fully automatic machine gun, and the recoil of the weapon was too much for him. He lost control and fatally shot himself in the head.

"The weapon was loaded and ready to fire," Westfield police Lt. Hipolito Nunez said. "The 8-year-old victim had the Uzi and as he was firing the weapon, the front end of the weapon went up with the backfire and he ended up receiving a round in his head."
Christopher, a third-grader, was attending the show with his father and sixth-grade brother, Colin. Christopher had fired handguns and rifles before, but Sunday was his first time firing an automatic weapon, said his father, Charles Bizilj.

Bizilj told the Boston Globe he was about 10 feet behind his son and reaching for his camera when the weapon fired. He said his family avoided the larger weapons, but he let his son try the Uzi because it's a small weapon with little recoil.

"This accident was truly a mystery to me," said Bizilj, director of emergency medicine at Johnson Memorial Hospital in Stafford, Conn. "This is a horrible event, a horrible travesty, and I really don't know why it happened."

Massachusetts has some of the strictest gun laws in the nation. It is legal in Massachusetts for children to fire a weapon if they have permission from a parent or legal guardian and they are supervised by a properly certified and licensed instructor, Nunez said. The name of the instructor who was with the boy at the time was not released.

Too many unknowns to hazard a guess. Recoil, stance, grip, attention from the shooter, attention from those supervising. Too many unknowns.


Taking laying pipe to a whole new dimension.

From RecordOnline.Com:
A Newburgh firefighter became an ad hoc surgeon Friday, called upon to use a pneumatic saw to cut a piece of steel pipe off a 73-year-old man's penis.

Firefighters were dispatched to the Newburgh campus of St. Luke's Cornwall Hospital shortly after 9 p.m. for a public service call, Assistant Chief Scott Mandoske said. Hospital personnel asked them for tools to cut off a ring. The fire department has a ring cutter used to clip wedding bands from swollen fingers, but firefighters learned that wouldn't be enough. The pipe was an inch long, an inch in diameter and made of quarter-inch-thick steel.

Authorities said the pipe was apparently an erotic aid, but did not elaborate.

Medical personnel weren't able to perform typical medical procedures, such as forcing blood from one side of the penis to the other in order to pull the pipe off. The man's penis had swollen and turned purple.

Mandoske said firefighters chose a "wizzer saw" for the job. The wizzer saw is an automotive tool, powered with air bottles and adopted by emergency responders who frequently deal with car crashes. Firefighters use it more commonly to saw off mufflers.

This was to be a more delicate operation.

"Just don't cut it off," the senior citizen reportedly said.

For more than 90 minutes, the firefighter sawed bit by bit into the pipe, pausing occasionally to cool the saw. The time duration was critical, Mandoske said. Hospital staff worried the man could lose his penis if blood circulation was cut off too long.

The wizzer saw emptied the first bottle of air and then a second. Finally, after five air bottles, the saw clipped through the final bit of pipe, and they were able to free the man. He was apparently unharmed by the operation, Mandoske said, although the assistant chief didn't press for details.

Wow, I hope I don't become that dirty of an old man. And what an aptly named pneumatic device that wizzer saw is....heh.


Scotch tape used to perform X-rays

From News AU:
SCOTCH tape is not only see-through, it can also "see through", for the product can be used to take X-rays, bemused scientists say.

Peeling tape from a roll of Scotch releases tiny bursts of X-rays that are powerful enough to take images of bones in fingers and hands, researchers have found.

The core theory is something called "triboluminescence," which occurs when two contacting surfaces move relative to each other.

As the tape peels, the sticky acrylic adhesive, on the back of the tape, becomes positively charged, while the polyethylene roll becomes negatively charged, according to this hypothesis.

At a reduced atmospheric pressure, the mechanical act of pulling apart the two surfaces causes electric fields to build up that then trigger discharges of energy.

This accelerates electrons on the adhesive to very high speeds and when they whack into the positively-charged tape roll, X-rays result. The pulses last for a billionth of a second, with an intensity of 100 milliwatts.

SCOTCH tape might be able to diagnose the problem, but the only way to fix it is DUCT tape!


Rig of Playstations stolen.

From Local 6:
Melbourne police Officer Jesus M. Lopez told Local 6 News partner Florida Today that a driver for Brian Kurtz Trucking Ltd. in Breslau, Ontario, reported the truck missing just before 8 a.m. Monday.

The trailer was loaded with 28 pallets, each containing 250 PlayStation game consoles, Melbourne police said.

The rig was described as a royal blue 2007 Kenworth T2000 bearing Ontario registration, valued at $150,000, according to Brian Kurtz Trucking. The trailer is a white with blue trim Stoughton semi-rig valued at $50,000.

Grand Theft Auto indeed...


Halloween, destroyer of planets

And if memory serves me correctly, each year I also slid into a shiny pair of red plastic pants — plastic pants! Granted, it was the early 1980s, a period not known for its use of organic materials or colors, but all that plastic continues not only to clog up my recollection of Halloweens past, but it’s also most likely still sitting in a landfill waiting to biodegrade.

Halloween can be an especially eco-unfriendly holiday. There’s the single-use plastic of red devil costumes, countless candy wrappers (not to mention the refined sugar, high-fructose corn syrup and artificial color of the candies themselves) and disposable decorations. According to the National Retail Federation’s Halloween Consumer Intentions and Actions Survey, Americans will spend more than $5 million on Halloween paraphernalia this year. That’s more than $5 million worth of stuff that ultimately ends up impacting the earth.

So this year I’m going to seize the opportunity to right my wrongs. As I get ready to introduce my child to his first Halloween, I’m making sure that I add a bit of earth awareness to the preparations.

TP is biodegradeable. So is a brown paper bag of poo. I'm sure she'll be enjoying both this season.


What's in a name?

From Fox 59:
The former Jennifer Thornburg — whose driver's license now reads Dissection.com, Cutout — wanted to do something to protest animal dissections in schools.

The 19-year-old's new name is also the Web address for an anti-dissection page of the site for People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, where she is interning.

"I normally do have to repeat my name several times when I am introducing myself to someone new," she told The Asheville Citizen-Times. "Once they find out what my name is, they want to know more about what the Web site is about."

The Asheville High School graduate who's working in Virginia said she began opposing dissections in middle school after a class assignment to cut up a chicken wing made her uncomfortable. She helped create a policy at her high school that allows students who object to dissections to complete an alternative assignment.

Despite her legally changing the name, she said most of her family members still call her Jennifer.

Can't wait to see what she'd name the kids. I bet the wedding invitation will be a hoot as well.


Turn that crap down...

From Yahoo News:

The European Union told music lovers Monday to turn down the volume of MP3 players, saying they risk permanent hearing loss from listening too long at maximum levels.

EU scientists reported that between 2.5 million and 10 million Europeans could suffer hearing loss from listening to MP3 players at unsafe volumes — over 89 decibels — for more an hour daily for at least five years.

EU spokeswoman Helen Kearns said the EU executive was asking people, especially children and young people, "to turn it down" now because they may be damaging their hearing without noticing it.

"It's damage that may come back and haunt you later in life," she said at a news conference.

She said regulators would look next year at lowering the EU legal limit of 100 decibels for MP3 players.

Excuse me while I flash back to a day when "those that know" said were saying the exact damn thing....


No barbed wire...it might hurt the thieves

From Dailymail.uk
A gardener who fenced off his allotment with barbed wire after being targeted by thieves has been ordered to take it down – in case intruders scratch themselves.

Bill Malcolm erected the 3ft fence after thieves struck three times in just four months, stealing tools worth around £300 from his shed and ransacking his vegetable patch.

But Bromsgrove district council has ordered the 61-year-old to remove the waist-high fence on health and safety grounds

'The fence was just a single strand and ringing my property. It was only 3ft high – it wasn't as though I'd dug a moat filled with piranha fish and erected 6ft iron railings.

'The council said they were unhappy about the precautions I had made but my response was to tell them that only someone climbing over on to my allotment could possibly hurt themselves.

'They shouldn't be trespassing in the first place but the council apologised and said they didn't want to be sued by a wounded thief.

Dead thieves can't sue. Castle doctrine FTW!

Google to help stop drunk mailing

From FoxNews:
The Goggles can kick in late at night on weekends. The feature requires you to solve a few easy math problems in short order before hitting "send."

If your logical thinking skills are intact, Google is betting you're sober enough to work out the repercussions of sending that screed you just drafted.

And if you can't multiply two times five, you'll probably thank Google in the morning.

There's no shame in admitting that sometimes you need a little extra help. Gmail engineer Jon Perlow designed Goggles with his own weaknesses in mind.

"Sometimes I send messages I shouldn't send. Like the time I told that girl I had a crush on her over text message. Or the time I sent that late night e-mail to my ex-girlfriend that we should get back together," he wrote when announcing Mail Goggles on a company blog.

But sometimes I write my greatest works while drinking. 'Tis the only time I have the (liquid) courage to do so. :)


Sperm on the rampage

From FoxNews:
One of South Australia's foremost experts in reproductive technology - Andrew Dutney - said that in one reported case, about 30 lesbians were impregnated by sperm from one man, the Advertiser reported.

The mothers then organised picnics with all the children, raising the fear they might socialise with their half-siblings without realising they were related.

In another case, a man's sperm was used to produce 29 children, most of whom were living in Adelaide.

They did not know who their half-siblings are, raising concerns that in a "big country town" like Adelaide, they could accidentally commit incest.

Ah yes, the gift that keeps on giving. If it were in America, there would be accompanying banjo music right about now...


Cleansing your spirit

From Yahoo News:
A Zimbabwean soccer player drowned in a crocodile infested river during a ritual to cleanse his team of bad spirits before a match, a state newspaper said on Tuesday.

The Chronicle quoted unnamed sources as saying about 16 players from second division side Midland Portland Cement were told to swim in the Zambezi river in the resort town of Victoria Falls ahead of a soccer match on Sunday.

"The technical team told every player to get into the river so that they could be cleansed of bad spirits," it said.

The paper quoted local police commander Peter Rodzi as saying that after the swim, the other players had noticed that one of the team was missing.

"The area where the team was swimming is prohibited as the current is strong. The river is also infested with crocodiles and hippos," said Rodzi.

Cleansing the gene pool, one spirit at a time.


Introducing the 2010 Ford "Nanny".

From Comcast News:
So you think junior is a little too lead-footed when he drives the family car? Starting next year, Ford Motor Co. will give you the power to do something about it.

The company will roll out a new feature on many 2010 models that can limit teen drivers to 80 mph, using a computer chip in the key.

Parents also have the option of programming the teen's key to limit the audio system's volume, and to sound continuous alerts if the driver doesn't wear a seat belt.

"Our message to parents is, hey, we are providing you some conditions to give your new drivers that may allow you to feel a little more comfortable in giving them the car more often," said Jim Buczkowski, Ford's director of electronic and electrical systems engineering.

The feature, called "MyKey," will be standard on an unspecified number of Ford models when the 2010 cars and trucks come out late next summer. The feature will spread to the entire Ford, Lincoln and Mercury lineup as models are updated, spokesman Wes Sherwood said.

Ford arrived at the 80 mph limit even though freeway speed limits are lower in most states because it wanted to leave a margin in case an unusual situation arises, Buczkowski said. In some states, freeway speed limits are above 70 mph, Sherwood said.

In addition to speed limits, MyKey also will limit the volume of the audio system, and it will sound a six-second chime every minute if seat belts are not fastened. The chime sounds for adult drivers, too, but ends after five minutes to avoid annoying adults who adamantly don't want to wear seat belts, Buczkowski said.

Parents also have the option of having the car sound a chime if the teen exceeds 45, 55 or 65 mph.

Forget instructing them on personal responsibility and defensive driving. Instead, just annoy the piss out of them until they correct their ways....or cut the speaker wires and re-chip the car.


Trying to go out with a bang...

From The Smoking Gun:
Denied sex by his girlfriend, a Florida man yesterday responded by shooting himself, threatening the woman, and then passing out on the kitchen floor (after hitting the oven on the way down). Jonathon Guabello, 29, was apparently under the influence of booze and Xanax when he shot himself in the right shoulder with a rifle in the Fort Myers apartment he shared with his girlfriend of five months.

According to a Lee County Sheriff's Office report, the couple had returned home after fighting at a local bar and "Guabello wanted to have sex." Turned down by his girlfriend, Guabello... became irate. After the woman departed the couple's bedroom, Guabello shot himself. He has been charged with firing a weapon in an occupied dwelling and threatening to assault his girlfriend.

Talk about taking out your frustrations by wacking yourself...


Happy 50th NASA

From NASA and APOD:
October 1, 1958, the official start of the National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA), was the beginning of a rich history of unique scientific and technological achievements in human space flight, aeronautics, space science, and space applications. Formed as a result of the Sputnik crisis of confidence, NASA inherited the earlier National Advisory Committee for Aeronautics (NACA), and other government organizations, and almost immediately began working on options for human space flight. NASA's first high profile program was Project Mercury, an effort to learn if humans could survive in space, followed by Project Gemini, which built upon Mercury's successes and used spacecraft built for two astronauts. NASA's human space flight efforts then extended to the Moon with Project Apollo, culminating in 1969 when the Apollo 11 mission first put humans on the lunar surface. After the Skylab and Apollo-Soyuz Test Projects of the early and mid-1970s, NASA's human space flight efforts again resumed in 1981, with the Space Shuttle program that continues today to help build the International Space Station.

There can be only one...*swing, miss* ooops.

Attack with sword fails; neighbor's head intact
A Chalmette man swung a 4-foot metal sword at a neighbor's head during a fight, authorities said.

Leslie Wilson, 57, of 4019 Jupiter Drive, acknowledged using the sword in an attempt to cut off the man's head, the St. Bernard Parish Sheriff's Office said in a news release. Wilson told deputies that his neighbor, Albert Estopinal III, 32, of 4021 Jupiter, threatened him first.

Both men were booked with disturbing the peace. Wilson was also booked with aggravated assault and attempted simple escape after he was able to get out of the back a deputy's squad car and started walking away, the news release said.

What's worse? Swing and a miss or being able to get out of the cop car and just walk away.


More info on the Draganflyer (video below)

From Draganfly.com:
The Draganflyer X6 is a remotely operated, unmanned, miniature helicopter designed to carry wireless video cameras and still cameras. Operate the Draganflyer X6 helicopter with the easy to use handheld controller while viewing what the helicopter sees through video glasses. The Draganflyer X6 helicopter uses a unique 6-rotor design refined from an original concept that has been under development since early 2006.

The Draganflyer X6 helicopter uses 11 sensors and thousands of lines of code to self-stabilize during flight. This means the Draganflyer X6 is easier to fly than any other helicopter in its class. The Draganflyer X6 on-board software is the result of extensive testing and development since early 2006.

Base Model: $14,995.00 USD

Um, ouch at that pricetag. Plus, that looks really familiar...

Me Want!

The Draganflyer Personal Helicopter - Watch more free videos


Peace through superior firepower

Little Plane, Big Machine Guns - Watch more free videos

Pull up your boots, but only if qualified to do so.

From Chichester England:
Council staff were unable to clear a dustbin from a four-inch deep stream because they weren't qualified to wear Wellington boots and a safety harness.

Instead local residents had to wade in to clear the metal bin and its load of filthy rubbish following the bizarre ruling from Chichester District Council.

He said the bin had been placed on a footpath leading to the village hall by a well-intentioned resident for passers-by to dump their litter.

But when it ended up in the stream, with its rubbish slopping out into the water, Mr Barnard contacted the district council.

He said: "I spoke to someone from the department dealing with fly-tipping and he said – and I quote – 'We don't have anyone qualified to wear Wellington boots'.

"I know they must have their health and safety regulations, fair enough, but it was only four inches of water."

Rules are there for a reason: To give government a way out of anything, including common sense.


A cut above...er, below.

From WLKY:
Philip Seaton went to have a circumcision last October. Seaton said when he woke up from the procedure, he realized his penis had been amputated.

The lawsuit states that Patterson received consent to perform a circumcision and only a circumcision, and that Seaton did not consent to his penis being removed.

Kevin George, the plaintiff's attorney, said Patterson amputated the organ after finding cancer, but he only had consent to remove the foreskin.

"Sometimes you have an emergency and you have to do this, but he could very easily closed him up and said, 'Here are your options. You have cancer,' and the family would have said, 'We want a second opinion. This is a big deal,'" George said.


Need more cowbell? Do it yourself.

About MoreCowbell.dj
The history of "more cowbell"
"More cowbell" is an American pop culture catch phrase originally derived from an April 8, 2000 Saturday Night Live comedy sketch about the recording of the song "(Don't Fear) The Reaper" by Blue Öyster Cult. The sketch featured guest host Christopher Walken as music producer Bruce Dickinson and Will Ferrell as fictional cowbell player Gene Frenkle. In the television special Saturday Night Live: 101 Most Unforgettable Moments, this sketch is moment number five.

The Technology behind MoreCowbell.dj
MoreCowbell.DJ is an application built using The Echo Nest Analyze API . Analyze API is a tool that enriches your software's understanding of music. It uses a perceptual model of human listening to generate detailed XML descriptions of a song's structure and musical content to power music applications with a much deeper musical understanding.

 Make your own at MoreCowbell.dj 


WOW as a terrorist communication tool

From Wired:
The American military and intelligence communities are increasingly worried that would-be bin Ladens might gather in a virtual world, to plan a real-life attack. But the spies haven't given many details, about how it might be done. Now, a Pentagon researcher has laid out how such a terror plot might unfold. The planning ground is World of Warcraft. The main target of this possibly nuclear strike: the White House.

There's been no public proof to date of terrorists hatching plots in virtual worlds. But online spaces like World of Warcraft are making some spooks, generals and Congressmen extremely nervous. They imagine terrorists rehearsing attacks in these worlds, just like the U.S. military trains with commercial shoot-em-up games. They worry that the massively multiplayer games make it incredibly easy to gather plotters from around the world. But, mostly, virtual worlds are nerve-wracking to spies because they're so hard to monitor. The accounts are pseudonymous. The access is global. The jargon is thick. And most of the spy agencies' employees aren't exactly level-70 shamans.

In a presentation late last week at the Director of National Intelligence Open Source Conference in Washington, Dr. Dwight Toavs, a professor at the Pentagon-funded National Defense University, gave a bit of a primer on virtual worlds to an audience largely ignorant about what happens in these online spaces. Then he launched into a scenario, to demonstrate how a meatspace plot might be hidden by in-game chatter.

In it, two World of Warcraft players discuss a raid on the "White Keep" inside the "Stonetalon Mountains." The major objective is to set off a "Dragon Fire spell" inside, and make off with "110 Gold and 234 Silver" in treasure. "No one will dance there for a hundred years after this spell is cast," one player, "war_monger," crows.

Except, in this case, the White Keep is at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. "Dragon Fire" is an unconventional weapon. And "110 Gold and 234 Silver" tells the plotters how to align the game's map with one of Washington, D.C.

And here I thought using something like Vent or Teamspeak would be more condusive to planning.



From http://www.talklikeapirate.com/piratehome.html
Q. The big one: WHY?

A. Why not?

Talking like a pirate is fun. It's really that simple. It adds a zest, a swagger, to your every day conversation. Do you need another reason?

Try it out. Let go, have a beer, burp in public. Say "Aarrr!!" Feels good, doesn't it?

Q. When is Talk Like A Pirate Day 2006 (2007, 2008, etc.)?

A. International Talk Like a Pirate Day isn't one o' those governmentally sanctioned holidays that shifts around to create a convenient three-day weekend. No, the date is ALWAYS Sept. 19 (Cap'n Slappy's ex-wife's birthday.) Now, occasionally Sept. 19 falls on a Sunday, and we recognize that may not meet everyone's desire for an excuse to party. While a lot of fun can be had ce;ebrating TLADP in a church setting (The choir will now sing, "How Great Thou Aaarrrrt!") we're suggesting that those of a more secular bent consider celebrating Talk Like A Pirate Weekend.


33 is the new 16

From The AP:
A 33-year-old woman stole her daughter's identity to attend high school and join the cheerleading squad, according to a criminal complaint filed against the woman.

Wendy Brown, of Green Bay, faces a felony identity theft charge after enrolling in Ashwaubenon High School as her 15-year-old daughter, who lives in Nevada with Brown's mother.

According to the complaint, Brown wanted to get her high school degree and become a cheerleader because she didn't have a childhood and wanted to regain a part of her life that she'd missed.

Brown allegedly attended cheerleading practices before school started, received a cheerleader's locker and went to a pool party at the cheerleading coach's house.

The $134.50 check Brown gave to the cheerleading coach for her uniform bounced, the complaint said.

Perhaps it was the fact that her check bounced higher than she could that lead authorities to investigate? Or maybe because she ordered her outfit top in 36 long.


Gordon Freeman spotted near LHC

From VideoGameBlogger:
This photo discovered by Shacknews appears to show an unwitting Gordon Freeman standing in the CERN test chamber. Soooo eerie! Let’s hope he was working to prevent any accidents.

But while interesting, enough with the history lesson, let’s compare these two stories to uncover what makes the above picture so eerie.

1. CERN has just started experimenting with the Large Hadron Collider, which is a worldwide scientific cooperation project built in collaboration with over 8,000 physicists from over 85 countries as well as 100’s of universities and laboratories. It’s aimed at discovering the secrets behind how the origins of the Big Bang. Right now they are being sued by the European Court for Human Rights who fear the 27km/17miles long underground Large Hadron Collider will destroy Earth by creating a “black hole”!

2. Is any of this starting to sound familiar? In the Half-Life game series, players assume the role of Dr. Gordon Freeman, a recent graduate theoretical physicist who must fight his way out of a secret underground research facility called the Anomalous Materials Lab. The research and experiments being done there into teleportation technology have gone wrong and caused a time-space catastrophe called a “resonance cascade”!

Behold the power of the crowbar!

Let's Rap

Rap Battle Gone Bad Translated - Watch more free videos


Largest particle collider conducts successful test

From the LHC:
The world's largest particle collider successfully completed its first major test by firing a beam of protons all the way around a 17-mile (27-kilometer) tunnel Wednesday in what scientists hope is the next great step to understanding the makeup of the universe.

After a series of trial runs, two white dots flashed on a computer screen at 10:36 a.m. (0836 GMT) indicating that the protons had traveled the full length of the US$3.8 billion Large Hadron Collider.

"There it is," project leader Lyn Evans said when the beam completed its lap.

The start of the collider — described as the biggest physics experiment in history — comes over the objections of some skeptics who fear the collision of protons could eventually imperil the earth.

The skeptics theorized that a byproduct of the collisions could be micro black holes, subatomic versions of collapsed stars whose gravity is so strong they can suck in planets and other stars.

Well, we're still here....for now....


Setting world records, the wrong way.

From Sofia News:
Bulgaria Women's Hockey Team Registers Record Loss 0:82 to Slovakia

Bulgaria's national women's hockey team registered a world record Sunday by losing 0:82 to Slovakia in its final fourth match at a tournament in Latvia.

A total of 37 spectators in the audience witnessed how the Bulgarians received a goal on average every 44 seconds - 82 goals in a 60-minute game.

The Slovakia fiasco came after the Bulgarian team lost 0:41 to Italy, 0:39 to Latvia, and 1:30 to Croatia. Thus, its score in four matches totals 1:192.

Sometimes, try, try again just doesn't cut it...

Load "guess who's back" ,8,1

From Crunch Gear:
It seems that tucked away in the folds of IFA, there is a tiny laptop taking the ancient Commodore family name.

If it can run C64 games natively, I'm all over it. Anyone for some "Way of the Exploding Fist"?


Jerry Reed dies at age 71

From the Miami Herald:
Jerry Reed, a singer who became a good ol' boy actor in car chase movies like "Smokey and the Bandit," has died of complications from emphysema at 71.

His longtime booking agent, Carrie Moore-Reed, no relation to the star, said Reed died early Monday.

"He's one of the greatest entertainers in the world. That's the way I feel about him," Moore-Reed said.

Reed was a gifted guitarist who later became a songwriter, singer and actor.

As a singer in the 1970s and early 1980s, he had a string of hits that included "Amos Moses," "When You're Hot, You're Hot," "East Bound and Down" and "The Bird."

In the mid-1970s, he began acting in movies such as "Smokey and the Bandit" with Burt Reynolds, usually as a good ol' boy. But he was an ornery heavy in "Gator," directed by Reynolds, and a hateful coach in 1998's "The Waterboy," starring Adam Sandler.

He had a long way to go...and a short time to get there....


Man gets nut around penis

From Yahoo News:
A Malaysian welder had to have a nut removed from around his penis after an attempt to lengthen it before he gets engaged next week went embarrassingly wrong, a news report said Sunday.

The nut got stuck on his penis following an erection, the Star newspaper said, forcing him to seek help at a hospital in southern Johor state.

Staff from the Sultanah Aminah hospital had to drain some blood from the penis and cut away a top layer of skin before the object could be removed, the newspaper said.

It said the fire and rescue department were also involved in trying to remove the nut from the unnamed welder, who is in his 20s and hoped the nut would weigh down his penis to make it longer.

Franks and beans!


Lawdog finally finishes his Pink Gorilla Tale...

Grab your oreos folks, this is one hell of a ride...

The LawDog Files: The Pink Gorilla Suit

Hierarchy of hotness

From Dallas News:
There's no in between. You're either Abercrombie hot – or you're not.

Kristen Carmichael discovered she didn't fit the clothing store's self-described "sexy, effortless style" when she was pulled from a sales position on the floor of the NorthPark Center store and shoved back to the stockroom to fold clothes.

This was after they'd rated her face.

A weekly "secret shopper" evaluation posted in the back room also focuses on appearance. Employees receive one point for a "yes" to the questions, "Was the person in the women's front room attractive?" and "Was the cashier attractive?"

These rating systems remain legal as long as they don't discriminate based on race or gender.

"There's no real problem to discriminate against 'ugly' people," said Jahan Sagafi, a partner at Lieff Cabraser Heimann & Bernstein, the firm that represented the plaintiffs in the original diversity suit. "The problem is when you define beauty to incorporate white, which it essentially does at Abercrombie."

So, if you are ugly and white it is okay, but if you are ugly and latino or black, that's a lawsuit? WTF?


Here's Your Sign

So I noticed this sign this morning on a local establishment that I walk by to get to work.

So, this is a legal holiday as opposed to all of the illegal ones we have?!?!?!


No Shit?!?!

From the AP:
A giant inflatable dog turd by American artist Paul McCarthy blew away from an exhibition in the garden of a Swiss museum, bringing down a power line and breaking a greenhouse window before it landed again, the museum said Monday.

The art work, titled "Complex S(expletive..)", is the size of a house. The wind carried it 200 metres (yards) from the Paul Klee Centre in Berne before it fell back to Earth in the grounds of a children's home, said museum director Juri Steiner.

The inflatable turd broke the window at the children's home when it blew away on the night of July 31, Steiner said. The art work has a safety system which normally makes it deflate when there is a storm, but this did not work when it blew away.

Dude, that isn't heavy enough shit. Try this....

The secret to longevity


Cheat on wife, sell it on E-bay

From Yahoo News:
An Australian woman has taken revenge on her cheating husband by putting a photograph of his lover's underpants up for sale on the auction site eBay.

In the listing the woman says she is selling a picture of a pair of lacy black knickers and an empty condom wrapper "size small" found in her bed after her husband had an affair with another woman.

The woman says she returned from work after receiving a romantic text message from her husband of 22 years that was clearly misdirected to find him at home watching a DVD and discouraging her from entering their bedroom.

In the room she found the empty condom wrapper under his pillow and "the Tart's knickers ... at the foot of the bed."

Inessa Jackson, a spokeswoman for eBay said that the listing almost did not make the site because it originally included the actual panties for sale and had to be taken down due to eBay's policy against selling secondhand underwear.

"We let her know about the policy and instead she's now selling a photograph of the offending knickers," Jackson was quoted on the news Web site www.couriermail.com.au as saying.

"This is obviously very therapeutic for this woman and it must be a great channel for her views on cheating and the sanctity of marriage."

Guys are so stupid. You never buy the small sized, even if you have to tie it in a knot to keep it on.


Winnie-the-Pooh held for robbery

From Yahoo News:
Japanese police have arrested a 20-year-old man who attacked and robbed two people after they stared at his Winnie-the-Pooh costume, officials said on Tuesday.

Masayuki Ishikawa was hanging out on a Tokyo street corner after midnight last month while wearing the cuddly costume, accompanied by two friends dressed as a mouse and a panther, when he took offence at being stared at, police said.

"It's uncommon to see people dressed up like this, so the victims were watching them. Then the perpetrator came up and said 'What are you staring at?'" a police spokesman said.

Ishikawa and his friends beat up the two victims and stole $160 from them, the spokesman said, adding the group had apparently donned the unusual garb because they had run out of clean clothes.

Because putting on the Pooh suit is so much easier than doing a load of laundry....


Allah busted for cocaine in CT.

From Fox CT:
Almighty Supremebeing Allah Arrested

Members of the East Central Narcotics Task Force arrested a West Hartford man was arrested after a short chase in South Windsor Thursday evening.

According to police, Almighty Supremebeing Allah, 35, of 119 Elmhurst St. West Hartford refused to stop for a marked cruiser and was detained about a mile down the road after the initial stop.

He was charged with Reckless Driving, Disobeying an Officers Signal, Interfering with an Officer, Criminal Attempt/Sale of Cocaine Criminal Attempt/Possession of Cocaine.

Police say Allah was held on a $260,000.00 bond and will be in Manchester Superior Court on Friday.

Jesus just left chicago and he's bound for New Orleans,
Workin from one end to the other and all points in between.

ZZ Top


Madden Holiday starts tonight

From EA Sports:
This year marks the 20th anniversary of the Madden NFL franchise, and what better way to celebrate than throwing a blow-out Maddenpalooza festival and broadcasting it in HD?

Tune in to Spike on Monday, August 11th at 9:00 PM ET / PT for a special Playbook presentation of Rudy, featuring NFL player interviews, coverage of the XLII Super Bowl Champion NY Giants' training camp, an in-depth look at new Madden NFL 09 features, and a special message from John Madden himself. At 11:40 PM, Spike goes LIVE in HD with the Madden NFL 09 Kickoff Live at the Rose Bowl in Pasadena, California. Catch special performances and interviews with bands featured on the Madden NFL 09 soundtrack, including Good Charlotte, Busta Rhymes, Young Dre and many more!

For as much money and popularity as this game generates, I find myself really not interested...

Hollywood death trifecta in play

First there was Bernie Mac:
Bernie Mac, the actor and comedian who teamed up in the casino heist caper "Ocean's Eleven" and gained a prestigious Peabody Award for his sitcom "The Bernie Mac Show," died Saturday at age 50.

"Actor/comedian Bernie Mac passed away this morning from complications due to pneumonia in a Chicago area hospital," his publicist, Danica Smith, said in a statement from Los Angeles.

She said no other details were available and asked that his family's privacy be respected.

The comedian suffered from sarcoidosis, an inflammatory lung disease that produces tiny lumps of cells in the body's organs, but had said the condition went into remission in 2005. He recently was hospitalized and treated for pneumonia, which his publicist said was not related to the disease.

Then there was Isaac Hayes:
American funk-soul legend and Academy Award-award winning musician Isaac Hayes was found dead Sunday at his home in Memphis, Tennessee, officials said. He was 65.

The talented singer, songwriter and composer, who won the Oscar in 1972 for best original song for the theme from "Shaft," was found unresponsive at his house by family members, Shelby county sheriff's spokesman Steve Shular told AFP.

Hayes was discovered at about 1:00 pm (1800 GMT) collapsed on the floor of a bedroom in his home next to a treadmill that was still running, he said.

"We don't believe there was any foul play," Shular said. "Based on the statements by family members that Mr. Hayes had been treated of late for a number of medical issues, we believe that led to his death today. There are no plans for an autopsy."

Hayes suffered a stroke in early 2006.

And the two were linked....
In a tragic twist of fate, Hayes most recently filmed a small role playing himself in the upcoming movie Soul Man, starring Bernie Mac, who died yesterday at the age of 50 from pneumonia.


If you like the show Heroes...

Then check out today's APOD.


Florida goes 911 crazy

From TheSmokingGun:
If you're wondering what the guy who called 911 to complain about his Subway sandwiches looks like, well, meet Reginald Peterson. The 42-year-old Florida man became so upset last Thursday when a pair of subs "did not include 'everything' as he had requested," he called Jacksonville cops "so that the police could have his sandwich made to his specifications," according to a Jacksonville Sheriff's Office report. Peterson, pictured in the below mug shot, was arrested on a misdemeanor charge of placing false 911 calls. A Subway employee told cops that an irate Peterson was "screaming at everyone in the business" because a worker could not seem to rectify the sandwich problem. As for the fate of the Subway grub, the sheriff's report notes, "The sandwiches were placed in a trash can at the suspect's request."

From the AP:
A second Florida man has been arrested on charges of making false 911 calls in as many days. An arrest report says 47-year-old Carlos Gutierrez was at the Hard Rock Hotel & Casino early Monday and called 911 to say the slot machine stole his money. The report says Gutierrez left the casino to place a second 911 call to say the same thing.

He was arrested and charged with making a false 911 call. He's being held with no bail set.

On Sunday another man was arrested after calling 911 five times during an argument with his brother. He demanded that dispatchers send deputies to help sort things out.

And in northern Florida last week, a Jacksonville man called 911 to complain that a Subway left the sauce off a spicy Italian sandwich.



Food Coma: 13 Gypsies


Highly recommended. Went there for lunch today. We did a sandwich and tapas each, splitting them up 4 ways perfectly. We had:








Everything was fantastic, but the big hits were the cream sauce from the cod, the angry bull, and the chorizo burgers. No fusion, just simple peasant food. Meat, Veggies, Bread, Cheese. A must if you are in Jax and in the neighborhood.

Oh, they only seat about 15 people, so get reservations for dinner or show up at 11am for lunch.

Cloned Booger

From Philly.com:
SKorean firm delivers commercial dog clones

Booger is back. An American woman received five puppies Tuesday that were cloned from her beloved late pitbull, becoming the inaugural customer of a South Korean company that says it is the world's first successful commercial canine cloning service.

Seoul-based RNL Bio said the clones of Bernann McKinney's dog Booger were born last week after being cloned in cooperation with a team of Seoul National University scientists who created the world's first cloned dog in 2005.

"It's a miracle!" McKinney repeatedly shouted Tuesday when she saw the cloned Boogers at a Seoul National University laboratory.

"Yes, I know you! You know me, too!" McKinney said joyfully, hugging the puppies, which were sleeping with one of their two surrogate mothers, both Korean mixed breed dogs.

The team of scientists working for RNL Bio is headed by Lee Byeong-chun, a former colleague of disgraced scientist Hwang Woo-suk, who scandalized the international scientific community when his purported breakthroughs in cloned stem cells were revealed as fake in 2005.

Independent tests confirmed the 2005 dog cloning was genuine, and Lee's team has since cloned more than 20 canines.

But RNL Bio said that its cloning was the first successful commercial cloning of a canine.

"RNL Bio is commencing its worldwide services with Booger as its first successful clone," the company said in a statement.

McKinney contacted Lee after Booger died of cancer in April 2006. She had earlier asked U.S.-based Genetics Savings and Clone to clone her dog but the company shut down due to lack of demand in late 2006 after only producing a handful of cloned cats and failing to produce any dog clones.

The Korean scientists brought the dog's frozen cells to Seoul in March and nurtured them before launching formal cloning work in late May, according to RNL Bio.

Lee's team have identified the puppies as Booger's genuine clones, and his university's forensic medicine team is currently conducting reconfirmation tests.

McKinney said she was especially attached to Booger because he saved her life when she was attacked by another dog three times his size. The incident resulted in her left hand later being amputated, and injured her leg nerves and stomach. Doctors later reconstructed her hand and she spent part of her recovery in a wheelchair.

McKinney said Booger acted as more than just a canine companion as she recuperated from the attack.

I'm waiting for cloned navel lint myself.


Transportation Fees: tracking your car and how you use it.

From NPR Morning Edition:
Americans are not driving as much because of higher gas prices. A drop in gas consumption is hurting gas tax revenues, which pay for roads, bridges and mass transit projects. Transportation officials say they need to rethink the way they collect and dispense money for transportation. They say the current system of relying on the federal gas tax is unsustainable.

Click the LISTEN NOW button to hear Transportation Secretary Mary Peters talk about a little black box in your car that tells the gov't how you used your car so they can determine how much your bill should be for transportation services.

Ah well, driving is still a privilege, not a right. Their highways, their rules.

White and Nerdy

I am nerdier than 90% of all people. Are you a nerd? Click here to find out!


Worms are smarter than you think

From Yahoo News:
Worms Do Calculus to Find Food

Like humans with a nose for the best restaurants, roundworms also use their senses of taste and smell to navigate. And now, researchers may have found how a worm's brain does this: It performs calculus.

Worms calculate how much the strength of different tastes is changing - equivalent to the process of taking a derivative in calculus - to figure out if they are on their way toward food or should change direction and look elsewhere, says University of Oregon biologist Shawn Lockery, who thinks humans and other animals do the same thing.

Like human visual systems that respond to the presence and absence of light, Lockery and colleagues found that when the left neuron fires as salt concentrations increase, the roundworm continues crawling in the same direction. The right neuron responds when salt concentrations decrease, and the worm turns in search of a saltier location.

Lockery said this is similar to a game of hot-and-cold with a child. But there is one key difference: the worm doesn't need an observer to say if it's getting closer to or farther from the target - the worm calculates the change by itself.

Observing the worm responding to changes in concentration suggested an experiment to see if the worm's brain computes derivatives. The mathematical concept of a derivative indicates the rate at which something, such as salt concentration, changes at a given point in time and space. So Lockery tried to verify that these neurons recognize changes in salt concentration and then tell the worm where food is and where it is not.

Soon to don robotic suits, battle evil, go by the name Jim....