Red vs Blue vs Turducken

The guys at Red vs Blue have pretty much summed up the differences in the whole Red State/Blue State election fiasco. Plus, they mix in Turducken for good measure.

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The hottest MILF is born.

Actress Julia Roberts gave birth to twins, a boy and a girl, in a Los Angeles hospital on Sunday, People magazine reported on its Web site, citing an anonymous source.

A magazine spokeswoman said Roberts, 37, gave birth around 3 a.m. PST (6 a.m. EST) to Phinnaeus Walter and Hazel Patricia.

A spokeswoman for the star did not return phone calls.

Roberts, who won an Oscar for her role in "Erin Brockovich" (2000), married the twins' father, cameraman Danny Moder, 35, in 2002 on Roberts' ranch in Taos, New Mexico.

The two had been splitting their time between homes in Taos, New York, and the Los Angeles area.

The actress was hospitalized late last month after experiencing early contractions. Doctors advised her to remain on bed rest until she gave birth.

Or should I say that the luckiest twins are born. Looks like they come from excellent stock, looks-wise. However, I think that the naming is a bit unique. I hope the boy grows up tough, or Amish, because Phinnaues will get you beat up. Hazel isn't that bad, until Halloween rolls around, and then the witch jokes show up. Actually, Witch Hazel has some wonderful healing properties, but I digress.

Growing up a rich kid to some movie star doesn't mean everything will be fine. How many specials has Oprah run on "poor little rich kids" that just go bad because they've never had to work for anything. From the eyes of someone that grew up in a hard-working middle-class home, money isn't everything until you can learn to appreciate it. Then money is pretty damn cool to have.


Misc. Friday Ramblings

Well, it is the Friday after Thanksgiving, and I am at work. "When the clients close, we close..." or some such bullshiat. Thanksgiving was good this year. Our normal family tradition is for my family and my brother's family to go to our parents to have Thanksgiving and Christmas, due to the mileage between us all. It was a good time, capped off with fantastic food.

Before dinner, we all sit around and exchange gifts. As usual, the kids make out like bandits. Mike's two girls getting lots of girly stuff, while my little one gets lots of cars. He loves cars and vehicles in general. Nothing like turning a room into a parking garage.

I made out quite well. I got GTA:San Andreas for the PS2. Also got some books on stupid human behavior. Love those Darwin Awards. Clothes, wall hangers, pictures, etc. My wife got some nice clothing as well. This one sweater really shows off...er, nevermind. We got a beautiful cross and home-made hot plate.

After all gifts exchanged, and the kids got down to playing, we set up for dinner. Mom and Dad outdid themselves with two deep-friend turkeys, a ham, dressing, mashed potatoes, green beans, sweet potato pie, and more. Ugh. MUST....LOOSEN....BELT. Of course, we got lots of leftovers. Turkey and Ham sammiches for the next few days, but that meat is damn good.

It was a very pleasant visit. I normally don't care for holidays, due to commercialization and from having worked in retail many years. This year was different. No hurt feelings. No crisis. No displaced family members. It was calm, peaceful, and relaxing. I just hope the holiday coming up will be the same way.

Now, random crap:

EDIT: I forgot the gun pr0n!


Happy Thanksgiving.

I doubt I'll have time to post tomorrow, so to everyone celebrating the holiday, get stuffed!


Have a nice day!

In general, the M14 was an outdated design at the moment of its adoption. It had the accuracy and range of an "old time" military rifles, but was too long, heavy and lacked the selective fire firepower of a true assault rifle, required in the modern combat. Nevertheless, it was a reliable and powerful weapon, often favored by users for high lethality, long range and good penetration.


When hunting in Wisconsin, make sure everyone in the party has a gun.

A deer hunter shot and killed five people and wounded three others after he was spotted on private land and was asked to leave, authorities said.

A 36-year-old man was arrested Sunday afternoon when he came out of the woods after the shootings during the hunt's opening weekend, sheriff's officials said. Two of the wounded were in critical condition Monday.

Deputy Jake Hodgkinson identified the suspect as Chai Vang but would give no details. Vang is from St. Paul, Minn., said Paul Schnell, a spokesman for the St. Paul police department.

The victims were part of a larger group hunting near a rural cabin on private land in Sawyer County in northwestern Wisconsin.

One hunter spotted someone in their tree stand, a raised platform in a tree used by hunters, and he and several others approached the man and asked him to leave, Sawyer County Sheriff James Meier said Monday.

The man got down from the stand and was walking away, then "for some apparent reason he turned and opened fire on them," Meier said.

One hunter radioed to others in the party for help, and more people were shot as they arrived on all-terrain vehicles to rescue the first group, authorities said. Someone in the group wrote the suspect's hunting license number, which hunters wear on their clothing, by tracing it on a dirty vehicle, Meier said.

The suspect, who did not have a compass, got lost in the woods and two other hunters who didn't know about the shootings helped him find his way out, Zeigle said.

The man was arrested when he emerged from the woods and a Department of Natural Resources officer recognized the deer license on his back from a description given by one of the shooting victims, Zeigle said.

The man was out of ammunition, he said.

A question that was raised by a few colleagues of mine is that if they are all up there hunting together, then shouldn't they have been armed. If someone is radioing for help because they are being shot at, do you not take your own firearm with you? When I first heard this story on the radio, I heard that the guy in the tree stand was Vietnamese using an SKS rifle. In the Vietnam War, those rifles were used a lot by the NVA/VC. So, I immediately thought someone was having flashbacks. At 36, I doubt that the murderer is having flashbacks. Still, I think there is more to the story that has yet to be revealed.


Went to the fights and games broke out

What a weekend for fighting! Friday, you have the Pistons and Pacers riot.

With 45 seconds to play out of the final quarter of Friday nights Detroit Pistons v Indiana Pacers game at the Palace of Auburn Hills an altercation between Ben Wallace and Ron Artest on middle court.

Wallace's strike following a verbal exchange at the tail end of a hard faught game which had the Pacers leading 97-82 at the time initiated the emptying of both teams benches.

As the melee was coming under control and teams seperated Artest took time to lay out across the officials bench courtside and attempt to put on a commentators headset, making light of the situation and Wallace's continued attempts to get at him.

The detroit fans also took offence to the Pacers Forward turned R&B star, pelting his position with objects and full cups of beer. At this point Artest, accompanied by Stephen Jackson took to the stands to deal out some of their own justice to the unruly fans, Artest managing to connect with the beer thrower before a scuffle brought them under some control and delivered artest back to the court with a ripped singlet to show for his troubles.

Another fan who ventured onto the court was confronted by the Pacers stars before team officials and security began hurrying them out to the locker rooms. The barrage continued as the game was called over the Palace P.A. system, Jermaine O'Neal was hit with a flying chair before security wrestled him and the rest of the pacers enterage out of harms way.

The NBA wonders why people don't like their product anymore. Thug life, baby. Oh yeh, and the Detroit "fans" suck.

Then on Saturday, Clemson and South Carolina go at it. Wasn't a riot like in Detroit, but still.
Emotions on both sides spun out of control late in the fourth quarter with a sidelines-clearing fight that delayed the game for about 10 minutes before coaches, police and security officers got things under control.

“I got a little scraped up, a couple of scratches,” said Clemson cornerback Justin Miller, who tussled with South Carolina receiver Matthew Thomas. “Once I saw a couple of big guys come by me, I got out of there.”

Holtz and Clemson coach Tommy Bowden both said they would look at tapes of the fight and take possible action. Clemson athletic director Terry Don Phillips said the ACC would also review the fight to see if penalties had to be handed out.

“You saw it at the basketball game last night,” Clemson quarterback Charlie Whitehurst said, referring to the brawl between the Detroit Pistons and Indiana Pacers. “You hate that it happens, but it does sometime.”

Holtz dove into the pile as peacemaker, trying to peel much bigger bodies from the situation. “Hey, he’s our daddy,” guard Jonathan Alston said. “If he was our father, we’d all get beatings” for the fight.


What is in a name?

Your Penis Name is: 100% All-beef Thermometer

Your Star Wars Masturbation Method Is:
Test Firing the Death Star

You Are a Link Blogger!

Your blog is more about cool links than thougtful posts.
Better to be entertaining and breif than longwinded and boring!

Damn, I'm getting longwinded, aren't I?


Misc. Friday Ramblings


How to win sweeps week: Nudity!

television news anchor appeared on the air nude in a first-person report about an artist's photographs, drawing a record number of viewers for the time slot, the station said.

Sharon Reed was one of hundreds of people who participated in Spencer Tunick's nude photo installation in Cleveland in June. Her report, which aired Monday on the 11 p.m. newscast on WOIO-TV, showed far away angles of her nude and some closer seminude shots, as well as other participants.

The station aired advisories before the piece, and FCC spokeswoman Janice Wise on Wednesday said WOIO followed commission rules that prohibit indecent material from being aired on broadcast television from 6 a.m. to 10 p.m.

I can't fault the news station, they were just doing a ratings stunt. It happens all the time. You have to have ratings to make money. Who cares about journalistic intergrity when money does the talking? What is really sad is that record numbers tuned in hoping to just catch a piece of ass on TV. Come on, folks. Just go read your email without your spam filter on to see stuff you'll never see on broadcast airwaves.


Doctor Discovers the 'Orgasmatron'

While Meloy, an anesthesiologist and pain specialist in Winston-Salem, was putting an electrode into the spine of a female patient with chronic back pain, the woman reported a decrease in her pain and a delightful, but very unexpected, side effect.

"When we turned on the power in this case, she let out a moan and began hyperventilating," Meloy said on ABC News' Good Morning America. "Of course we cut the power and I looked around the drapes and asked her what was going on. Once she caught her breath, she said 'you're gonna have to teach my husband how to do that!' "

Meloy soon realized he may have discovered a device that could help thousands of women who have trouble achieving orgasm.

"The device is the use of a pre-existing device called a spinal cord stimulator," he said. "Instead of treating chronic pain with the stimulator, we're treating orgasmic dysfunction," Meloy said.

In a surgical procedure done in his office, Meloy implants the electrodes from this device into the back of the patient, at the bottom part of the spinal cord. When the electrodes are stimulated with a remote control, the brain interprets the signal as an orgasm, he said. The device is about the size of a pacemaker and can be turned on and off with a handheld remote control.

"Once we found the controls, what caused the stimulation to be greater … more pleasurable, that's when I saw the results. I did have orgasm, and there were a couple of times that I had multiple orgasms because of the stimulator," said the woman, who asked to remain anonymous.

She said it was difficult to part with the orgasmatron when the study ended.

If approved for this use, the orgasmatron device and implantation could cost up to $17,000, but Meloy says he believes some women would be happy to pay that amount to have the orgasmatron permanently embedded in their lower backs. He says the device could be implanted on an outpatient basis.

You know, once you can teach a vibrator to mow the lawn, men will no longer be needed in the world. There have been remote-controlled devices before, but they depend on direct stimulation. Now, through modern science, you can completely by-pass direct stimulation and move on to direct neural input. I'm wondering how many women would pay $17,000 to have the big 'O' on command. How would you get your insurance to pay for that?

Thanks to my buddy Rez for the story.


We're baaaaaaaaack!

A US marine from the 3/5 Lima company stands in front of graffiti scribbled on the bridge crossing the Euphrates River in the restive city of Fallujah,14 November 2004, 50 kms west of Baghdad. The bridge became famous after the death of US security officers' charred bodies were hung on display at the end of March 2004. US-led forces will probably need up to five more days to finish clearing Fallujah of rebels after a week of fierce fighting that left more than 1,200 insurgents dead, US marine officers said today.

Sometime you have to be nice. Sometimes you have to be not-so-nice. What the insurgents are now discovering is what happens when it becomes time to be not-so-nice. If you allow a virus to fester for too long, it gets rooted deeply into the area. When a broad spectrum battery of solutions won't work, you need to use the sharpest instrument, the scalpel. The M.E.F. is the best scalpel in the world. Semper Fidelis!


NASA experimental 'scramjet' prepares for Mach 10 attempt

If successful, NASA's third and last X-43A "scramjet" will fly at 7,000 mph for 10 or 11 seconds high over the Pacific Ocean off California and then, like the two other X-43As, plunge into a watery grave.

The first X-43A flight failed in June 2001 when the booster rocket used to accelerate it to flight speed veered off course and had to be destroyed. The second flight last March was a success, reaching Mach 6.83 — nearly 5,000 mph _and setting a new world speed record for a plane powered by an air-breathing engine.

Just 12 feet long and 5 feet wide, the X-43A is mounted on the nose of a Pegasus rocket that will be carried aloft to 40,000 feet by NASA's B-52 research aircraft and released. The Pegasus rocket will ignite and carry the X-43A to an altitude of 110,000 feet and a speed of about Mach 10, then release it for its brief powered flight.

The X-43A will then become a glider and perform maneuvers until it splashes down into the ocean.

That will be the end of the X-43A project, which has cost more than $230 million and has no immediate follow-on program.

Unlike rockets, scramjets wouldn't have to carry heavy oxidizer necessary to allow fuel to burn because they can scoop oxygen out of the atmosphere.

And ramjets, which operate from Mach 3 to Mach 6, have to use rotating blades to compress airflow down to subsonic speeds prior to combustion, while scramjets have few or no moving parts and airflow remains supersonic through combustion.

On the X-43A, the craft's underside actually functions as part of the engine, compressing the air for mixing with hydrogen gas and blasting it out the rear.

Imagine, if you will, a time in the near future. You hop on board of a craft in New York. Your destination is Tokyo. A normal flight on a Boeing 777 will be 12 hours and 35 minutes at an average flight speed of 550mph, average altitude of 40000 feet. That is 750 minutes at about 9.2 miles per minute for about 6900 miles.
Okay, now imagine the same trip on a hypersonic jet. Going 7000mph, the same trip will take about 60 minutes (116.7 miles per minute into 6900 miles). That's pretty damn impressive, once they get the technology done right.

However, it still irks me that they are not recovering these gliding aircraft. $230 million, while cheap by Nasa standards, is still nothing to sneeze at when there are complaints of government waste going on. If the thing can glide, glide it back in to a desert landing somewhere. Put a parachute on it, or floats, and pick it up in the ocean. Re-use the damn thing, if possible. Doesn't need to be littering up the ocean.


Marvel sues City of Heroes

Marvel Enterprises Inc. is suing two firms behind a computer superhero role-playing game it claims allows players to make virtual characters that are too similar to ``The Hulk,'' ``X-Men'' and other heroes in the comic book company's stable.

The lawsuit claims South Korea-based NCSoft Corp. and San Jose-based Cryptic Studios Inc. violated Marvel's trademark characters in their game ``City of Heroes.'' Marvel seeks unspecified damages and an injunction against the two companies to stop using its characters.

The personal computer game enables players to design superheroes' look and abilities and then battle against other players' characters in a virtual city. Like similar so-called massively multiplayer role-playing games where thousands of players can be playing simultaneously at any given time, ``City of Heroes'' claims to offer a myriad of combinations so that no two players' characters are exactly the same.

But in its lawsuit, filed Wednesday in U.S. District Court, Marvel argues that the game's character creation engine easily allows players to design characters that are virtual copies of its own superheros, including ``The Incredible Hulk.''

The company singles out a game feature for creating ``a gigantic, green, 'science-based tanker'-type hero that moves and behaves nearly identically'' to the ``Hulk.'' Players can also create a ``mutant-based'' hero powers and a costume nearly identical to Marvel's ``Wolverine,'' according to the suit.

The New York-based company also took issue with the ability of players to go so far as to name their superhero creations after Marvel comic book characters.

I play City of Heroes. Religiously. I am also a comic book fan. I also know that this is not the first time that Marvel has sued countless game companies and fan sites that enable the use of Marvel characters in games. The real issue is that the naming is supposed to be policed by the internal GMs(game masters). These are paid employees that make sure everything covered under the EULA is enforced. Copyright materials are prohibited according to the EULA, because characters created in the COH game universe belong to Cryptic Studios and NC Soft.

In the game I have seen the following copyrighted characters (not all Marvel): Superman, Batman, Wolverine, The Hulk, Nightcrawler, Zangief, Guile, all the Agents from the Matrix, The Ghostbusters, and Warhammer 40k marines. When they enable trenchcoats, I'm sure that we will see all sorts of Neo variants.

Marvel needs to grow a thicker skin, or come out with their own MMORPG. I think the real basis for the lawsuit is the character ownership clause in the EULA. Enforcement is the responsibility of the GMs, which have been a bit lax of late. Hopefully, they will staff up, and institute name data-mining to get rid of this junk lawsuit.


I slab of ribs, coming up!

Tyrannosaurus rex scraped the meat from the ribs of its prey in much the same way a human might gnaw on a serving of barbecued ribs, a meeting of geologists was told on Tuesday.

Bite marks on fossil bones collected in the American West showed evidence that the fearsome dinosaurs used their curving, dagger-like teeth with some dexterity to remove the meat from bones before munching on them like a modern-day dog, Daniel Hyslop of the University of Wisconsin, Madison, told a Geological Society of America meeting.

Fossilized bones contain puncture holes that exactly match the conical, serrated teeth of T.rex, Hyslop found.

Herds of duck-billed Hadrosaurs and the horned Triceratops that roamed 65 million years ago were likely victims of the top predator. It remains unknown if T.rex dined primarily on fresh meat or scavenged for anything, alive or dead, in its path.

I wonder if he preferred sauce or rub. Side of beans and slaw are optional.


The Ultimate Online RPG

I'm a big fan of RPGs and MMORPGs. I've played MMOs since Ultima Online, spending most of my time in Asheron's Call. Currently, I'm having a blast in City of Heroes. So, when news of the next ultimate MMORPG came along, I had to cover it. I'd like to thank Ken Shima over at Castle Shima for the link.

Hello Kitty and friends welcome you to the exciting and fantastic Hello Kitty World! This is the first-ever online game platform featuring the all-time-favorite Hello Kitty characters from Sanrio!

Hello Kitty World will allow thousands of players to live and participate in Hello Kitty's magical and cute online world. You will be able to roam the streets of Kitty Kingdom, XO Federation, and Melody-land. Enjoy the beautiful landscape and architecture of Puroland or Badtzcity and participate in numerous puzzles, story lines, or adventures lead by the worldwide community of Hello Kitty World subscribers. You can even have a successful career, open different shops, earn and spend Sanrio Dollars in your bank, buy a house, and trade with other players around the vast game world.

The only kitty world I want to play in is Kalashnikitty world!


When you're out on the evening, flash more than a smile (NSFW).

Actress Tara Reid apparently has gotten some surgery recently. Now, I love big boobies, but I have no idea what would possess someone of such natural (well, used to be anyways) beauty to enhance themselves. She may not be as big as Mimi Rogers, but still. Check out the nipple scars. EEK!


Panic Room: That 70's show style

Honey, there’s a burglar in the house! Quick, downstairs! I’ll get the gun – you type a letter to the police, then sew up a sack I can put him in.

I don't remember much about the 70's. Thank God I don't remember much about the 70's. And no, it wasn't drugs either, I was just a kid thankyouverymuch! Just put back the double-knit, reversible slacks.


Consummatum Est

Tetelestai, It Is Finished. Now, get it off of my TV!
President Bush on Wednesday emerged as the victor in the fiercely fought race for the White House after Sen. John Kerry decided against contesting the vote in the battleground state of Ohio.

Kerry's decision was relayed to NBC News by a senior adviser, who said the Democrat had phoned Bush to concede and would make a concession speech at 1 p.m. Wednesday.

According to two officials familiar with the situation interviewed by the Associated Press, Kerry ended his quest shortly after 11 a.m. ET, concluding one of the most expensive and bitterly contested races on record, with a call to the president.

"Congratulations, Mr. President," Kerry said in the conversation described by sources as lasting less than five minutes. One of the sources was Republican, the other a Democrat.

The Democratic source said Bush called Kerry a worthy, tough and honorable opponent. Kerry told Bush the country was too divided, the source said, and Bush agreed. “We really have to do something about it,” Kerry said according to the Democratic official.


I voted. So sue me. oh wait....

I stop by the local polling place. It is a quaint little Lutheran church at the end of the road. No where to park in front of the church. I'm thinking to myself that there is a great turnout for 3:15pm in the afternoon. Well, I walk in and immediately notice that there are three people voting.


Then I scan the room. There is the old man that is the polling officer, the three ladies at the sign-in table, the one lady watching the ballot box, three other ladies by the back wall. Probably switching out shifts of the volunteers. However, I also notice people that don't belong there. Suits.

There are four people at a small table just watching everything with questioning eyes, disecting everyone's moves. Apparently, there are observers present at all of the polling places, just to make sure everything moves smoothly. Great, fine, whatever.


BTW, I was voter number 382. By contrast, for the last primary election, which had one of the worse turnouts in local history, I was voter 75. Lovely. Looks like people still aren't turning out, even for the important local shit.

Vote Cobra Commander!

Choose your poison indeed. Of course, you could do like me and think like George Carlin:
Everybody complains about politicians; everybody says they suck. Well where do people think these politicians come from? They don’t fall out of the sky. They don’t pass through a membrane from another reality. They come from American parents and American families. American homes, American schools, American churches, American businesses and American universities, and then they are elected by American citizens. This is the best we can do folks. This is what we have to offer. It’s what our system produces. Garbage in, garbage out. If you have selfish ignorant citizens, you’re gonna get selfish ignorant leaders, and term limits ain’t gonna do you any good. You’re just gonna wind up with a brand new bunch of selfish, ignorant Americans. So maybe it’s not the politicians who suck. Maybe something else sucks around here. Like the public. Yeah, the public sucks. There’s a good campaign slogan for somebody. “The public sucks! Fuck hope!” Fuck hope.

Because if it’s really the fault of these politicians, then where are all the other bright people of conscience? Where are all the bright, honest, intelligent Americans ready to step in and save the nation and lead the way? We don’t have people like that in this country. Everybody’s at the mall, scratching his ass, picking his nose, getting his credit card out of his fanny pack so he can buy a pair of sneakers with lights in them.

So I have solved this little political dilemma for myself in a very simple way. On Election Day, I stay home. I don’t vote. Fuck ’em. I don’t vote.

Two reasons:

First of all, it’s meaningless. This country was bought, and paid for and sold a long time ago. The shit they shuffle around every four years doesn’t mean a fucking thing.

And secondly, I don’t vote because I believe that if you vote, you have no right to complain. People like to twist that around, I know. They say if you don’t vote you have no right to complain, but where’s the logic in that? If you vote, and you elect dishonest, incompetent people, and they get into office and screw everything up, then you are responsible for what they have done. YOU caused the problem. YOU voted them in. YOU have no right to complain.

I, on the other hand, who did not vote, and who, in fact, did not even leave the house on election day, am in no way responsible for what these people have done and have every right to complain as loud as I want about the mess YOU created that I had nothing to do with. So, I know a little later on this year you’re gonna have another one of those really swell presidential elections that you like so much. You’ll enjoy yourselves; it’ll be a lot of fun. I’m sure that once the election is over your country will improve immediately. As for me, I’ll be home on that day doing essentially the same thing as you, the only difference is: when I get finished masturbating, I’m gonna have a little something to show for it.


NFL gods have spoken. Kerry to win on Tuesday.

If history holds, the 28-14 result portends a victory for Kerry on Tuesday because the result of the Redskins' final home game before the presidential election has always accurately predicted the White House winner. If the Redskins win, the incumbent party wins. If they lose, the incumbent party is ousted.

"Oh, yeah, he's going to win. It's guaranteed," said Packers safety Darren Sharper, a Kerry supporter. "I don't have to vote now. Don't even have to go to the polls. Saved me a trip on Tuesday."

The streak began in 1933, when the Boston Braves were renamed the Redskins. Since then, beginning with Franklin Roosevelt's re-election in 1936, the trend has held, including a 2000 Redskins loss to the Tennessee Titans that predicted George W. Bush's win over Al Gore.

So, all Kerry supporters. Stay home on Tuesday. You are assured a victory now.