RIP Sassi Frassy

1996 - 07/29/2006

Dear Lord, please open your gates
and call St. Francis
to come escort this beloved companion
across the Rainbow Bridge.

Assign her to a place of honor,
for she has been a faithful servant
and has always done her best to please me.

Bless the hands that send her to you,
for they are doing so in love and compassion,
freeing her from pain and suffering.

Grant me the strength not to dwell on my loss.
Help me remember the details of her life
with the love she has shown me.
And grant me the courage to honor her
by sharing those memories with others.

Let her remember me as well
and let her know that I will always love her.
And when it's my time to pass over into your paradise,
please allow her to accompany those
who will bring me home.

Thank you, Lord,
for the gift of her companionship
and for the time we've had together.

And thank you, Lord,
for granting me the strength
to give her to you now.

Amen.

- © Brandy Duckworth, 1998

Misc. Friday Ramblings...

This place is deader than a Texas salad bar.

• It's Photoshop Phriday!
  Robots of WAR!!!!
  


• Police find hand in jar at home of nude dancer
  Talk about paying an arm and leg for some trim. Ba-dum-dum-ting.
  


• Eight out of 10 adults are so addicted to their cellphones they can't turn them off during sex.
  Must be one hell of a vibrate mode.
  


• Teacher jailed for sex with student.
  She comes from a land down under...
  


• New Virus trys to print O'rly the owl.
  
  

Friday FIREPOWER!

• Fortis Armour ballistic protection vest.
  

  Demonstration of the Fortis Armour ballistic protection vest, fired upon at close range using a variety of weapons including several pistol calibers, a submachine gun, shotgun, and even a high-velocity AK-47 assault rifle.

  
  I never realized that protection vests didn't snap back, wash after wash.
  

Is Clear Channel boycotting Madonna?

Is Madonna the subject of a Dixie Chicks-like boycott?

Songs from the Material Girl’s latest album, “Confessions on a Dance Floor,” have been hits around the world, but hasn’t fared as well in the U.S. Some fans are alleging that radio stations owned by Clear Channel — a company with strong ties to the Republican party — are refusing to play her music because of the pop star’s comments blasting George Bush and the war in Iraq. Madonna has been an outspoken critic of the war and during her current “Confessions” concert tour, makes obscene comments about President Bush. Clear Channel stations were said to be key in keeping the Dixie Chicks’ music off the air after one of them made highly publicized comments about being “embarrassed” to be from the same state as George Bush.

Nearly 5,000 Madonna fans have signed a petition that’s being sent to Clear Channel head Mark P. Mays, accusing the company of keeping the singer off the radio airwaves. “The evidence that there is a boycott from American Radio is too obvious for words ... Madonna rules the planet, EXCEPT for the USA,” according to the petition writer, who went on to note that Madonna holds the two top positions in the United World Chart, but a number of petition signers report that when they request Madonna’s music, they’re told by Clear Channel-owned stations she’s too old or not popular enough.

5000 fans in the US is probably about all she has left, ever since she abandoned the country years ago. I'm glad to see that radio stations are CHOOSING to carry or not carry what ever they wish. Private organizations have the freedom to do that, and that is a concept that some just will not ever be able to grasp.

Been busy playing SOTS

In 2145 Human scientists discover the Node drive, an incredible technology allowing travel between star systems at the speed of light. But as mankind sits poised on the brink of a new era, tragedy strikes: the first interstellar colony is destroyed and Earth itself is ravaged by a mysterious alien race.

So begins a quest to colonize and conquer the stars in the classic 4X style of interstellar empire building. Explore mysterious new star systems, claim planets, exploit their resources, then design and build your own star ships to exterminate your enemies in 3D tactical battles.

Full Game Features:

• Captain and command your fleet in real-time 3D RTS combat


• The only current 4X space strategy game with 8-player multiplayer


• Developed by the core team responsible for HomeWorld: Cataclysm


• Random tech trees provide endless strategic variation


• Design and build your own ships in three size classes: Destroyer, Cruiser, and Dreadnought. Mix and match ship components to suit your play style.


• Play as one of four distinct races -- Human, Hiver, Tarkas and Liir -- each with their own technology advantages and disadvantages.


• Over 150 technologies to research

Might not update for a while. Got some alien asses to kick.

URLs

These are actual websites if you’re wondering…

Everyone knows that if you are going to operate a business in today's world you need a domain name. It is advisable to look at the domain name selected as other see it and not just as you think it looks. Failure to do this may result in situations such as the following (legitimate) companies who deal in everyday humdrum products and services but clearly didn't give their domain names enough consideration:


1. A site called 'Who Represents' where you can find the name of the agent
that represents a celebrity. Their domain name is...wait for it... www.whorepresents.com.

2. Experts Exchange, a knowledge base where programmers can exchange advice and views at www.expertsexchange.com.

3. Looking for a pen? Look no further than Pen Island at www.penisland.net.

4. Need a therapist? Try Therapist Finder at www.therapistfinder.com.

5. Then of course, there's the Italian Power Generator company... www.powergenitalia.com.

6. And now, we have the Mole Station Native Nursery, based in New South Wales: www.molestationnursery.com.

7. If you're looking for computer software, there's always www.ipanywhere.com.

8. Welcome to the First Cumming Methodist Church. Their website is www.cummingfirst.com.

9. Then, of course, there're these brainless art designers, and their whacky website: www.speedofart.com.

10. Want to take holiday in Lake Tahoe? Try their brochure website at www.gotahoe.com.

GTA: Lego City

Having just made it back onto the streets of New Brick City after a long stretch inside, Jimmy Bricketti is sent to Lego City by his old boss, Sonny. But all does not go smoothly upon his arrival in the saturated, orthogonal metropolis of Lego City.

GTA: Lego City is a parody of the Vice City trailer and is Brick Flick's first movie.

An oldie but a goodie.

Misc. Friday Ramblings...

• It's Photoshop Phriday!
  Collectables gone wrong.
  


• If you don't like the way I drive...
  ...stay off the sidewalk.
  


• Assault with a deadly carrot.
  When carrots are outlawed, only the outlaws will have carrots. Thanks Rez.
  


• Jet Li is Fearless.
  Ah, doing a traditional Wu Shu movie. I'm so happy.
  


• New BMW M3 Pictures.
  It's just a car. A really niiiiiiice car...
  


• The SomethingAwful take on Zidane's headbutt.
  Those could happen...
  


• Volcano and lightning.
  Sure beats gonads and strife.
  

Friday FIREPOWER!

• Gun show this weekend.
  

  Location: Jacksonville Fairgrounds
  Date: July 22 - 23, 2006
  
  Show Hours: Sat 9-5 Sun 10-5
  Entry Fee: $7
  FREE PARKING

  
  Seeya at the Fairgrounds.
  


• Top 5 of the strangest/coolest military gadgets.
  

  1. ESG’s Flying Wings
  2. BigDog - The Robotic Mule
  3. Trophy Active Defense System
  4. Cornershot or Redback 40mm Weapon System
  5. High-Tech Army Wristwatch

  
  I'll take one of each. Put the Redback on my car, though.
  


• Cowboy action shooting
  It is not as easy as it looks. However, it does look like a lot of fun.
  


• Law-abiding citizens turn in firearms to keep them out of lawbreakers' hands.
  

  Not intended to round up the firearms of lawbreakers, the event was aimed at law-abiding citizens who have the power to stop their own guns from falling into violent hands, said Sgt. Vince Higgins, spokesman for Memphis police.

  
  Better turn in all your money then, so it can't be stolen either. Geezus people, you put your money in a safe, do the sames with your guns. It's that simple.
  


• Man Shoots Attacking Pit Bulls Off Neighbor
  

  A man in Leesburg who heard screams for help from his neighbor during an attack by two pit bulls grabbed his shotgun and opened fire, possibly saving the man's life, according to a Local 6 News report.
  
  Authorities with the Lake County Sheriff's Office said two pit bulls attacked Joe Pipala, 61, at his home on Maple Street in Leesburg Sunday. Pipala said he thought he was going to die during the attack.
  
  "I really thought that the end was here," said victim Joe Pipala. "I hit one with a four-by-four and I could have sworn that I knocked a tooth out and it and it didn't even stun it."
  
  Pipala's wife, Susan, tried to distract the dogs as they attacked her husband.
  
  "I started screaming and jumping up and down on the porch," Susan Pipala said.
  
  However, the pit bulls would not stop moving in on Pipala, the report said. Pipala's neighbor Jeff Lint heard the cries for help and grabbed his gun.
  
  "I heard Joe yelling, 'Jeff help, Jeff, help,'" Lint said. "It was a scream of help. They would not let him alone. They were just all over him. I know Joe and I know that he has a heart condition. As a last resort, I got the 12-gauge shotgun and I come back over."
  
  Lint fired and hit one of the pit bulls.
  
  "It went down and did a 360 three different times and then got up and came after me again," Lint said. "So, I unloaded a second shot into it."
  
  The dog died from the gunshot wounds. The dead dog's owner was fined $50, the report said. He did not want to talk with Local 6 News about the incident.
  
  "I mean (it's) odd that they got a ticket and nothing else (other than) a fine," Susan Pipala said. "Fifty dollars and bye-bye. No dog taken away. No dog quarantined."
  
  Pipala told Local 6 News that he feels lucky to be alive.
  
  "Now he wants to know from animal services what on earth is it going to take to get this dog off the streets," Local 6 reporter Vanessa Medina said.

  
  As taught in CCW class, you keep firing until the threat has been neutralized. The old school way of getting rid of a nuisance dog doesn't involve animal control. As witnessed above, the penalties from animal control don't really amount to much versus the damage caused.
  

A (soon to be ex-)wife scorned...

It's Tuesday night and nothing's better than a bucket of popcorn, a bottle of wine (I did keep a few good ones for myself) and a great romantic movie. Don't you think? I've got a great, new romantic movie the private investigator made – just some highlights. I watched it 14 times last night. Steven and Laura. Holding hands, kissing, going to a HOTEL. Do you charge by the hour, Laura? Bitch.

A private investigator can be a tactical asset when you have an idea that something is going on, but need the proof. As you can see from above, it looks like it turned out to be just enough to coax a confession. Buahahahaha.

6' x 3' Yellow Jacket Nest

Rising up out of the water, it looks like another tree stump from a distance. But a closer look is enough to take your attention, and maybe your breath.

Hundreds of thousands of yellow jackets swarm in and around their nest on Shelley and Tony Roberts' pond. They can't believe it got so big so quick.

It looks to be about six feet tall and three feet wide. No one's gotten close enough to measure.

When it started to grow, the Robertses wondered what the jackets were using for bricks and mortar. Then they noticed a change in their split rail fence.

"First of all, we thought the sun was bleaching our fence, but we noticed where the yellow jackets were landing," said Shelley. "They're eating the bark off the fence and they're building their nest with it."

They turn the wood to a pulp of sorts and build layer by layer, sometimes several inches in a week.

I don't think that there is a big enough can of raid for that sucker. So, may I suggest something a bit more direct than poison.

Don't talk with your mouth full

Especially if you are a World leader, on camera, and there is an open mic present. Sometimes I think that they do that to Bush just to see what he might mess up next, but all they caught this time was some shit.

Video games will take you places.

Matt is a 29-year-old deadbeat from Connecticut who used to think that all he ever wanted to do in life was make and play videogames. He achieved this goal pretty early and enjoyed it for a while, but eventually realized there might be other stuff he was missing out on. In February of 2003, he quit his job in Brisbane, Australia and used the money he'd saved to wander around the planet until it ran out. He made this site so he could keep his family and friends updated about where he is.

A few months into his trip, a travel buddy gave Matt the idea of dancing everywhere he went and recording it on his camera. This turned out to be a very good idea. Now Matt is quasi-famous as "That guy who dances on the internet. No, not that guy. The other one. No, not him either. I'll send you the link. It's funny."

The response to the first video brought Matt to the attention of the nice people at Stride long-lasting gum. They asked Matt if he'd be interested in taking another trip around the world to make a new video. Matt asked if they'd be paying for it. They said yes. Matt thought this sounded like another very good idea.

At the start of 2006, Matt left on a 6 month trip through 39 countries on all 7 continents. In that time, he danced a great deal.

The original Travelling Matt is unimpressed.


EDIT: BTW, another good game with great music came out this past week. PREY. The new tune this week is the song that rolls through the credits. You can only get it through Direct Song. The CD, "Bite Me", is worth it.

Misc. Friday Ramblings...

"We don't serve colored people here."
"Well I don't eat those motherf*s either."
- Robin Harris

• It's Photoshop Phriday!
  Mixed up Bond titles.
  


• Mice on a plane.
  Someone call Samuel Jackson.
  


• Space-aged fixer-upper: Duct Tape.
  Just think what they could do with Krazy Glue.
  


• Darwin Awards had a BBQ.
  Someone liked theirs well done.
  


• Pole Position will leave skid marks ON YOUR SOUL!
  I can't believe I actually watched the cartoon version of that game as a kid.
  


• Topless isn't adult entertainment.
  Could have fooled me.
  


• Self-cooling soda bottles possible.
  Stop by Krystals, they already have self-lubricating food.
  


• World's Best Ukulele Player.
  Tiptoe through the tulips this is not.
  


• 'Drunk' Jackie Chan disrupts concert.
  Drunken Master indeed.
  

Friday FIREPOWER!

• Gun control is a political loser.
  

  "When we as Democrats are trying to reach out and speak to voters in the center of the country, I don't think that we can support gun control," he explains. After seeing Democrats hammered at the polls for voting to regulate guns, many of his colleagues seem to agree. As a result, a number of pro-gun measures moving through Congress will most likely face little opposition, as advocates of gun control increasingly find themselves marginalized and ignored.
  
  Saul Cornell of Ohio State's Second Amendment Research Center, says polls consistently show broad support for gun control. What gives the gun lobby strength, he says, is that supporters see gun control as a make-or-break issue. With that passion comes money. Gun-rights groups contributed nearly 14 times as much as gun-control groups in the 2004 election cycle, according to the Center for Responsive Politics.
  
  Gun-control proponents should avoid efforts like the assault weapons ban that were more effective at agitating gun owners than at preventing gun violence, says Daniel Webster of the Johns Hopkins Center for Gun Policy and Research. He recommends targeting unscrupulous dealers, and points to New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg, who leads a coalition of over 50 mayors backing a crackdown on illegal gun sales. For backers of gun control, perhaps that's a start.

  
  I truly believe that the unyielding, "all or nothing" attitude stopped the election of those with staunch gun-control views. I also believe that the gun crime statistics for the past few years did not bear out the fears of the gun control lobby either (ie, blood running in the streets or shootouts like the O.K. Corral). However, stats can always be spun in your favor, no matter what side of the debate you are on.
  


• Nap of the earth indeed.
  They don't just hover, you know.
  


• Man Shots Gun in Front of Ex-Girlfriend.
  

  Wilton police are searching for a 24-year-old man accused of firing off a gun in front of his ex-girlfriend.

  
  Going off prematurely is probably the reason she is an "ex".
  

USB drink cooler.

The CoolIT USB Beverage Chiller is the only way to keep your drink cold while you’re at your computer. And it looks cool on any desktop!

The next must-have computer accessory is here. With the USB Beverage Chiller at your side, you can keep your beverage chilled and stay at your computer longer.

Just seconds after plugging the chiller into your computer’s USB port (no external outlet needed), the coldplate chills to 45 degrees Fahrenheit, the perfect temperature for keeping your beverage chilled.

• Plugs into your computer’s USB port
• Coldplate chills to 45˚F
• Keeps your beverage cold

If memory serves, it is heat that rises, not cold. So, basically, this thing is just keeping the bottom part of the drink cold, instead of encompassing the entire drink like it should. Ah well, at least it is a fun party novelty.

Good Eats don't jump down your throat.

There are no obesity-causing bad foods, only bad eaters, according to the celebrated host of the Food Network's "Good Eats" and “Iron Chef America” Alton Brown.

“Unhealthy food is the food designed to keep you away from good food,” said Brown, providing the example of a bag of 75 cookies that keep consumers from enjoying two better cookies made with butter.

“Food doesn't get up and jump down our throats,” he said.

Brown cautioned against an over-reliance on facts and information-overload and the use of high-tech props.

“I care about the big picture. While facts may be the ‘proof of evidence', they don't point to what we're doing,” he said. And what Americans are doing today is overeating.

Good Eats is the best food show on TV today. You know only learn what to cook, but how to cook it, and how science is built into cooking. However, I do disagree with him about one point. Some of my cooking has gotten up and tried to jump down my throat. I had to beat it off with a spatula...

Gimme that old time religion

Please read this first: The ReligionFacts Big Religion Chart is an attempt to summarize all the complexities of religions and belief systems into tiny little boxes on a single, quick-reference comparison chart. As we always warn with our comparison charts, this is no substitute for reading about religions in greater detail. But this religon comparison chart can (hopefully) be a useful and accessible way to "get the gist" of some unfamiliar groups and compare basic beliefs and practices of the world's religions.

We have been very inclusive with what is regarded as a "religion" for purposes of this comparison chart. The grounds for a group's inclusion in this index is generally that it provides a set of teachings and/or rituals that deal with the traditionally "religious" issues of ultimate reality, the meaning of life, and/or how to find fulfillment, spiritual health or salvation. All the groups listed below can be found in dictionaries of religion.

Inclusion of a group on this list does not mean that the group is a "religion" per se (note that Atheism is the first group listed!) or a "true religion" or that "[one listed group] is just as much a religion as [another listed group]." Similarly, if a group does not appear on this chart it doesn't mean it's not a religion. This is not an authoritative list of religions, simply a resource on worldviews and ways of life that hopefully some will find useful. The chart is not intended to be comprehensive and it will probably always be under construction.

I weep for humanity that there are almost as many Scientologists as there are practicing Jews in the world.

World Headbutt..er, Cup 2006.

If you can't beat them, beat them up.

Misc. Friday Ramblings...

Per Ardua, Ad Astra. - SotS

• It's Photoshop Phriday!
  Soothing sounds...
  


• Need help cooking your weiners?
  
  
  


• A Floating Bed.
  I find her interesting because she sleeps above the covers....four feet above them.
  


• Happy Birthday, Mr. President.
  Keeping the brain sharpened sometimes requires a blunt instrument.
  


• Maybe they put him in the wood chipper?
  Now down to life number 8.
  


• Matthew has been messing with road signs.
  I guess he missed the day they taught Ascii porn.
  


• 600lb woman thrown through sunroof.
  Sometimes, it isn't the weight that'll kill you, it's the sudden stop.
  

Friday FIREPOWER!

• Gun permits for life.
  

  Indiana is the first state in the nation to offer residents lifetime handgun permits under a new law that went into effect this month -- a move hailed by Second Amendment supporters and blasted by gun-control advocates.
  
  DETAILS ON GUN PERMITS
  
  Indiana offers two types of handgun permits: hunting/target or personal protection. You are required to have one of those permits to transport a gun.
  
  • Permit to carry: You must be at least 18 and never have been convicted of a felony. Other restrictions may apply in certain cases.
  
  • Applications: Forms, available at police and sheriff's departments, require your name, age, address, length of residence in the community and an FBI background check. You must submit a set of fingerprints.
  
  • Cost: The new lifetime personal protection license, which allows Hoosiers to carry a concealed handgun, costs $125 for residents who do not have a current four-year license and $100 for current licensees. The cost of four-year licenses for new applicants increased from $25 to $40, with the same fee for renewals.
  
  The law, which also increases the cost of obtaining or renewing a four-year license, went on the books Saturday. The change is expected to bring in more money to the state and the Indiana State Police.
  
  State Police Superintendent Paul Whitesell announced details of House Enrolled Act 1176 at a news conference Wednesday, saying the law will streamline the process to get a permit for law-abiding gun owners. His agency oversees the issuance of permits.
  
  Hamm of the Brady Campaign, which advocates for stricter gun-control laws, said he has concerns about the ability of law enforcement to track and react to crimes that people commit after they obtain lifetime permits. And, he argued, the "hassle" of having to renew permits is overstated.
  
  "Responsible gun owners understand that some gun owners ought to be checked out every four years," he said.
  
  State Police Capt. Doug Shelton, acting commander of the agency's records section, said State Police will continue to check on gun permit holders whenever they are notified of an arrest, conviction or other action that could limit or preclude a person's right to have a permit. He said that is already the practice for those who hold four-year permits.
  
  The NRA's Varner added that people who make the effort to obtain a permit are not the ones to worry about.
  
  "They're the ones you should trust," she said. "They've gone through the hoops and background checks. They're the good people."

  
  Imagine that, law abiding citizens don't get hassled, but if a crime is committed, the law is enforced. Whodathunkit? Not those clowns at the Brady Campaign, that's for damn sure.

Patently Silly

Condom with Inflatable Portion
patent#: US 6895967

The title and picture pretty much say it all – this rubber provides extra girth when you need it. But don't just pump, and, well, pump. A well placed squeeze can do wonders. This jimmy hat can be "repetitively inflated and deflated at desired times," much like the man's ego when he's told, "Yes, I want to sleep with you, but can we do something about that anorexic worm you call a penis?"

Like all good things there is some risk involved (though this is far from the riskiest I've seen). In the heat of the moment, a forearm might spasm and this thing is going to pop like bubble wrap in a porcupine nest. Next thing, the manufacturer is getting sued for child support payments and gonorrhea salve.

I shouldn't knock it until I've tried it, but personally, I can think of more enjoyable ways of getting blown. Common sense will tell you, balloons and pricks are best kept separate.

Wait until you see the version powered by an air compressor.

Irrational Fears

Or are they?

Independence Day

Some fun facts:

On this day in 1776, the Declaration of Independence was approved by the Continental Congress, starting the 13 colonies on the road to freedom as a sovereign nation. As always, this most American of holidays will be marked by parades, fireworks and backyard barbecues across the country.

2.5 million
In July 1776, the number of people living in the colonies. (1776 population from Historical Statistics of the United States: Colonial Times to 1970.)

300 million
On this July 4th, the population milestone our nation soon will be closing in on.

Fourth of July Cookouts
150 million
Number of hot dogs (all varieties) expected to be consumed by Americans on this holiday. (That’s one frankfurter for every two people.) There’s more than a 1-in-4 chance that the hot dogs made of pork originated in Iowa, as the Hawkeye State had a total inventory of 15.2 million market hogs and pigs on March 1, 2006. This represents more than one-fourth of the nation’s total. North Carolina (8.5 million) and Minnesota (5.8 million) were the runners-up.

Some sad facts:

Fireworks
$201.9 million
The value of fireworks imported from China in 2005, representing the bulk of all U.S. fireworks imported ($211 million). U.S. exports of fireworks, by comparison, came to just $14.9 million in 2005, with Australia purchasing more than any other country ($4.4 million).

$17.3 millionThe value of U.S. manufacturers’ shipments of fireworks in 2002.

Flags
$5.5 million
In 2005, the dollar value of U.S. imports of American flags; the vast majority of this amount $5 million) was for U.S. flags made in China.

$993,000
Dollar value of U.S. flags exported in 2005. Mexico was the leading customer, purchasing $529,000 worth.