Sorry boss, I won't be coming in today...or maybe I will...

Brazilian Town Declares Orgasm Day Intended to Improve Relationships Between Married Couples

Sex rarely makes the news in Brazil's conservative Northeast until a small town declared an official Orgasm Day on Monday.

Espertantina Mayor Felipe Santolia endorsed the May 9 holiday, which he said was intended to improve relationships between married couples.

"We're celebrating orgasm in all its senses. There's even a panel discussion on premature ejaculation. But from what I've seen, women have more trouble achieving orgasm than men, especially in marriage," Santolia said by telephone from Esperantina, 1,300 miles (2,100 kilometers) north of Rio de Janeiro.

Santolia said the remote town of 38,000 people has been unofficially celebrating orgasm day for years, but that the town's former mayor had vetoed a bill making it an official municipal holiday.

The city council passed a law Saturday creating the holiday. Santolia, who took office earlier this year, said he would sign the bill later Monday.

"I'm 32, single and I have an open mind. Beside the theme is very much of the moment," he said.

Orgasm Day celebrations include a series of panel discussions by sexologists from across Brazil and a presentation of Eve Ensler's play "The Vagina Monologues."

Santolia said the idea of celebrating Orgasm Day at first created a scandal in this poor region, known for its religious fervor. But he said residents gradually residents warmed to the idea.

"I've seen scientific studies that show when a woman is unloved, when her husband can bring her to orgasm, it affects all aspects of her life, her relationships with her children, at home, with the city and at work," Santolia said.

Why is it just one day? Why can't it be 24/7/365? I mean, I'd love to have the day off to spend in bed with my wife. You know that something like that just wouldn't work in the US. Man and Wife is defined in the holiday. Of course, that discriminates against singles, homosexuals, asexuals, cats, dogs, etc. Seriously, like the government would give you the day off to screw your significant other when they are too busy screwing you.

On a happier note, I was picking up some supplies for an upcoming party, and got carded for the first time in about 10 years. Made this old fart quite happy!