The Super Bowl is coming to town...

...now go away. Seriously, go away. There were elections in Iraq, but the news leads with a football expose. Roads are closing, making the normal daily commute of citizens who still have to lead their lives a living hell. Traffic is heavy and only getting heavier on roads that haven't been re-designed to take the load. On top of all of that, will the average joe be effected by any of the supposed millions that will flow into the town? That remains to be seen, but I highly doubt that we will. Instead, we'll get another debacle like the Greater Jacksonville Plan to blow whatever cash will line the city coffers.

Carlin quote to start the week off:
"As soon as a person tells you he has a surprise for you, he has lost the element of surprise."

FN Semi P90 & F2000

The Shot Show is the gun industry's annual trade show. A surprise out of this year is that FN has gone through with producing the civilian-legal, semi-automatic P90 and F2000. I had read in Shotgun News early last year that they were considering it. Proof is in the pictures. They still have to get them through BATFE though. Hopefully, they'll have black furniture as well.

Thanks to Mark for the link, as I haven't been surfing THR much lately.

Misc. Friday Ramblings

Friday, Friday, Friday, Friday, Mushroom, Mushroom....

• Jenna Jameson hawks cellphone "moan tones"
  

  "If you can get her to say my name then I would buy it. I need that kind of personal attention," said New Yorker Julian McCullough.

  She had no qualms about saying it last night with me. *BVEGF*


• P&G to Buy Gillette for $57 Billion. Because you can't have razors without the soap.


• Endangered Condors Return to Andes Skies. Bad Disney movies slated for sequel.
  

  

  
  It did have Barbara Carrerra though.


• Study Finds Most Bone Growth Occurs at Night. Most boys have known this since adolescence.


• It's Photoshop Phriday. Nothing says historical inaccuracy like Abe Lincoln with a PBR.


• Sexy Coffin Calendar. Oh yeh, I bet they have a trade show too.


• Ouch. No words, just ouch.

Obligatory Friday gun pr0n!
Many ban groups are up in arms over the Five Seven pistol bust in the news recently. They claim that such a pistol has no need being on the streets, because the round it fires can penetrate body armor. Well, guess what, the SS190 round can't be imported. We are only able to get the SS192 round, which is lower-power, soft, training ammo. So, in solute of those groups, here's the Five Seven. Oh yeh, and the P90 cause it just kicks so much ass!

Where have all the 80's stars gone?

Former teen pop idol Deborah Gibson is set to finally shed her clean-cut image, after reportedly posing for Playboy magazine.

The 34-year-old singer and actress, who has starred in Broadway shows such as "Cabaret" and "Grease" since moving away from the pop world, had previously refused requests to take off her clothes for the cameras.

In a 2001 interview with newspaper USA Today she said, "I was born in the wrong era. I'm not comfortable with showing everyone everything. I never say never though. I've said I'd never get a tattoo and I got one."

According to columnist Liz Smith, Gibson's spread in the March issue of Playboy will hit news stands on February 11.

They go to Playboy. Tiffany, the original Buffy, even Tia Carrere have all posed for the men's magazine in the past few years. I would think that they are either trying to kick-start a new direction, or they have something to prove to themselves and the public. Either way, it should be fun to view.

Speaking of fun to view, Playboy recently did a "Women of Radio" edition. I heard about this on a show I listen to, Lex and Terry. One of their affiliate's woman was featured in the layout. Her name is Lexxus. Wow!

Money can't buy you love...

When five dozen roses didn't work, an estranged husband took out a full-page newspaper ad to ask his wife for forgiveness.

"Please believe the words in my letter, they are true and from my heart," read the ad in Tuesday's edition of The Florida Times-Union. "I can only hope you will give me the chance to prove my unending love for you. Life without you is empty and meaningless."

Larry, who declined to give his last name, sent the $17,000 apology to Marianne, his wife of 17 years. She left him almost two weeks ago, he said.

"It was a culmination of things," he told the newspaper. "But I am desperately trying to save our marriage."

Larry, who lives in Orlando, said his wife is staying with her parents near Jacksonville. But they blocked him from entering their gated community and she changed her cell phone number so he can't contact her.

A relative told him that Marianne saw the advertisement.

"She said my wife read the ad and started crying. But so far I've had no response from her," Larry said.

But the ad drew the attention of many other readers, who contacted the paper.

"They want to know if she has responded and if they have worked things out," said Jay Weimar, director of display advertising. "We tell them we are pulling for him."

...or bring back your estranged wife. Larry says it is a culmination of things. However, there had to be one thing that broke it all apart. I mean, for $17k, he could get a divorce and get a new wife. People usually do not change overnight, no matter have extreme the circumstance. Whatever lead up to this will still be there if they ever get together. If she has retreated to her parent's protective umbrella, then almost assuredly all bets are off. Parent's tend to be over-protective, especially of their "little girl". More than likely, they are poisoning any attempt at reuniting the couple. Good luck if he does get back with her. He's gonna have many moons of ass-kissing in front of him.

*thanks to MF'r for the heads up on the story.

The nominations are in...

Michael Moore's gamble to hold his hit film "Fahrenheit 9/11" out of the documentary category - to boost its best-picture prospects - backfired. The movie was shut out across the board.

...and Michael Moore is still a big, fat loser! Still, if the election would have went the other way, I bet F 9/11 would have gotten the academy nods. I guess beings the popular vote spoke up and told the lefties where to stick it, Hollywood is going to play nice.

*EDIT*

This just in...

Gabriel: Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeere's Johnny.

Johnny Carson (news), the quick-witted "Tonight Show" host who became a national institution putting his viewers to bed for 30 years with a smooth nightcap of celebrity banter and heartland charm, died Sunday. He was 79.

Carson died early Sunday morning, according to his nephew, Jeff Sotzing. "He was surrounded by his family, whose loss will be immeasurable," Sotzing told The Associated Press.

He did not provide further details, but NBC said Carson died of emphysema — a respiratory disease that can be attributed to smoking — at his Malibu home.

Carson often had a cigarette in hand in the early years of "Tonight," eventually dropping the on-air habit when smoking on TV became frowned on. But he remained a heavy smoker for some years afterward, said a former associate who spoke on condition of anonymity.

Carson did find an outlet for his creativity: He would send a joke occasionally to Letterman, who lost the battle for "Tonight" but remained a Carson friend. Some bits made it into Letterman's monologue.

Carson won a Presidential Medal of Freedom, the nation's highest civilian honor, in 1992, with the first President Bush saying, "With decency and style he's made America laugh and think." In 1993, he was celebrated by the prestigious Kennedy Center Honors for career achievement.

His nephew said there will be no memorial service.

Misc. Friday Ramblings

Friday is just another day...

• How do you miss a nail in your skull? Talk about being hard headed.




• Go to Mars, leave your litter.


• Cosby's alleged inappropriate touching. Guess he was looking for the pudding pop.


• Man Holds Up Sex Shop, Steals Inflatable Doll. Was it a hold up or a stick up?


• Woman gives birth to 16.7 pound baby. Um, OUCH!
• 
  
• Nev. Man Castrates Himself to Lower Libido. He's half the man he used to be...


• Paula Deen does burgers. OMG, they looked so good.


• Rachel Ray does tacos. mmmmmm, I'd like to try her taco.

Obligatory friday gun pr0n!
Looking for a bit more oomph from your AR15, but don't have the money to shell out on a Shrike conversion? Try the 6.5 Grendel from Alexander Arms.

Red October to follow Alec Baldwin's acting career.

RED October, the Soviet submarine featured in a Tom Clancy book and subsequent movie, is to be decommissioned for good.

The world's largest - and one of the most celebrated - submarine was the star of 1990s fans of Cold War thrillers as it disappeared – in The Hunt for Red October novel and movie – off the US coast on a secret mission that nearly sparked nuclear war.

In fact, the craft with 20 intercontinental ballistic missiles has been quietly resting in a Barents Sea port, waiting to meet its maker, the Izvestia newspaper quoted navy officials as saying.

Ironically, the US would pay the decommissioning costs because Russia's post-Soviet military is too poor to foot the bill, Izvestia said.

Japan is paying Russia to turn into metal shreds the nuclear subs stationed near its shores in the Pacific.

Red October's demise will leave Russia with only three submarines of its type, known as Typhoon.

Only one of the submarines – the Severstall – is still equipped with intercontinental ballistic missiles.

"Right now, our navy needs new, smaller vessels," Izvestia quoted former naval commander Gennady Suchkov as saying.

Cold war aside, it is sad to see such pieces of hardware get cut up into so much scrap metal. I mean, they were once the icons of a fiercely proud military. Now, the navy can't even pay to have them destroyed themselves, and the air force is having to sell rides to pay for aircraft upkeep. Come to Russia, try the food, fly our Air Force. Still, there are some military adventures that look pretty cool over there, like a range day with small arms or driving a tank.

It's just so cute!

In mid October 2004, Lakeside Machine was approached by rimfire enthusiasts to develop a beltfed upper receiver in rimfire that would accommodate the common lower receivers of the AR15 and M16 style of firearms. On November 26th of 2004 the LM7 was revealed. The LM7 was created using the proven technology found in our Browning miniature and Vindicator line of products. To the best of our knowledge, this conversion upper is the only select fire capable rimfire beltfed in the world.

.22 caliber select-fire conversion for an AR15? Sign me up!!!



Here is a second picture page.

Give me one, full blown.

A pair of Long Island hot dog vendors allegedly did their job with a little too much relish, selling sex along with hot sausage inside their tan camper.

Police said the women provided personal services along with knishes, Fritos and Cheez Doodles from a wiener wagon parked alongside Sunrise Highway at Rockwood Ave. in Baldwin.

"We've never seen hot dogs mixed with prostitution before," said Deputy Inspector Rick Capece, commanding officer of Nassau County's narcotics/vice squads. "It's out there, the most unusual thing I've seen."

Catherina Scalia, 38, of Rockville Centre, and Rose Skorgy, 34, of Merrick, were charged with prostitution after they propositioned an undercover cop yesterday, police said.

Cops said Scalia offered to expose herself to the officer or perform a sex act inside the camper, a rundown vehicle strewn with empty chip bags and ketchup bottles and containing a dingy mauve recliner.

Scalia also told the officer Skorgy would perform a sex act in his car, if he wanted privacy, cops said.

Police received a tip last week that the women were offering extras at the stand, adorned with giant signs reading "Hot Dogs" and "We Are Open."

The camper has been registered to Scalia for four months, but cops aren't certain when the duo set up shop in the residential neighborhood.

"It was a legitimate business. They were selling hot dogs in there," Capece said. "We don't know how large the clientele was, though."

Want to know how large the clientele was? Just use hotdog lingo with the girls. Were they dealing with footlongs or cocktail franks? Being a legitimate business, it reminds me of the film The Freshman staring Brando and Broderick. There is a scene where Brando wants Broderick to work for him, and it goes something like this:

"I want you to accept this completely legitimate offer...I want to hear a Yes (Brando cracks walnuts with his hand).....I want to hear a YES!!!(Brando cracks walnuts with his hand with emphasis)"

He has a son....tater tot....

Hasbro PLAYSKOOL announces the launch of the new character, Darth Tater in time for the theatrical release of Revenge of the Sith. The new toy is a classic Mr. Potato Head dressed up as Darth Vader - looks nearly as good as Lord Helmet in Spaceballs.

The package comes with lightsaber, cape, helmet, shoes, eyes, nose, teeth and more.
Available in Spring 2005.

More details at Hasbro's site.

And I see that your schwartz is as big as mine.

Misc. Friday Ramblings

Friday the 14th....beware!

• Clint Eastwood and I agree. We both love the freedoms of our country, but if MM ever shows up at the door...



• It's Photoshop Phriday! This week, diet fads.


• Viagra helps boy with lung disease. It also makes him the most popular kid in pre-school as well.


• A worm that plays video game Tetris. Is nothing sacred anymore? First .jpgs, now Tetris. The bastards!


• Huygens heads toward Saturn moon. Well, NASA is good at crashing into things.


• Wal-Mart greeter sacked. Literally.

Obligatory friday gun pr0n!

30mm GAU cannon in action.

'Radiation-Proof' RVs to Launch Soon in U.S.

Two private U.S. companies have designs on building the first luxury recreational vehicle that could withstand nuclear radiation.

Parliament Coach Corp., a privately held company in Clearwater, Florida, which converts Prevost buses into high-end RVs, has partnered with Homeland Defense Vehicles to offer consumers a luxury motor coach that can protect occupants against nuclear radiation from dirty bombs as well as biological and chemical attacks.

The idea is to offer the option on the pricey vehicles to consumers worried about terror attacks, officials for both companies said Tuesday.

"Many people enjoy the RV lifestyle, but we also live in an era when people have some level of fear about terrorism," Parliament Chief Executive Harvey Mitchell said in a statement. "These concerns about terrorism are linked to states where people with RVs like to travel."

Cause when the shit hits the fan, you can be comforted knowing that the Redneck Army Of America will survive!

EDIT: You know, I've been searching for the perfect picture for the above statement. If you ever saw Independence Day, then you know the scene. Wil Smith is dragging the alien in his parachute, when off in the distance, a rag-tag, rolling army of RVs come into the scene. They are being lead by Randy Quaid. Watch that scene.

Oklahoma Transport Authority 1-900 number.

Oklahoma highway users wishing to call the state about electronic payment passes were mistakenly directed to a sex hotline.

Oklahoma Transportation Authority spokeswoman Brigette Berglan said the state's turnpike authority had made an error in a letter sent to 41,000 people. One digit was wrong in the telephone number for callers seeking advice on how to deal with toll gate payments.

Instead, they found themselves calling a sex line where they could speak with "exciting people," such as lonely housewives, students and fantasy girls for $2.99 a minute.

"We're not that exciting here at the authority. We prefer to think of ourselves as helpful," Berglan said.

I would think that the 1-900 operators think of themselves as helpful as well, but the caller has to be hands-on with the situation. Plus, at $2.99 a minute, it is probably cheaper than the transport authority as well.

NASA's party crasher.

NASA plans to stage the collision of Comet Tempel 1 and the Deep Impact probe on July 4, and in order to put the projectile in the right place for the encounter, Deep Impact must be launched by Jan. 28.


The earliest NASA plans to attempt the launch is at 1:48 p.m. EST on Wednesday from Florida's Cape Canaveral Air Force Station.

Scientists don't know exactly what will happen when the comet barrels into Deep Impact's 820-pound copper-tipped projectile at about 23,000 mph. The speeding comet is expected to be 82 million miles from Earth when the collision occurs.

They expect, however, a giant explosion -- equivalent to the energy released by 4 1/2 tons of dynamite -- and a gouge into the comet's surface that could be as big as a football field and as deep as a 14-story building.

While the collision is expected to obliterate the impactor, two telescopes aboard Deep Impact's mother ship will monitor the crash, then fly by the comet for close inspections.

By probing below the comet's surface, scientists hope to learn about the conditions that existed more than 4 billion year ago when the solar system was formed.

Great, lets just run head long into a comet and have a satellite there to act as a rubber-necker. Plus, they don't know what is going to happen, other than a release of energy equivalent to 5 tons of TNT. Oh that's just great. Just like us to go out into space and want to blow shit up. What happens if that sucker's course gets altered into a planetary body? What if it runs into an asteroid that is then sent on a collision course to Earth? What if this is just a test of interceptor technology? People want to know!

Sometimes I hate local governments.

Miami Beach city officials reportedly told a 10-year-old girl who wanted to sell cookies and drinks in her front yard to raise money for tsunami victims that she could not hold the fundraiser because they could not grant her an occupational license.

"I feel bad for them," said Carolyn Lipsick, 10, of the people affected by December's devastating tsunami. "Some children have no clothes, no food, no water and no shoes and most important, that I want to help them, they can't find their parents."

But Lipsick's mother, Desiree Lipsick, said the city of Miami Beach told her occupational licenses could not be granted for such yard sales.

"I called the city of Miami Beach and they said, 'Absolutely not. We cannot issue you a license to have a lemonade stand, a coffee stand, a fruit stand -- any kind of stand,'" Desiree said.

The Lipsicks didn't know that they would have been able to sell food if they got a permit for a garage sale, but apparently no one informed them of that possibility. Instead, the mother and daughter contacted the Local 10 Problem Solvers.

Within hours, the Problem Solvers learned the Miami Beach Jewish Community Center offered to help by allowing a fundraiser in its Pine Tree Drive parking lot.

Okay, you have to have a permit to have a garage sale on your own property? Damn! Remind me never to move to Miami. One of the reasons I don't live in a gated community is because I don't want anyone else telling me what I can and can't do on my own property (yes, I know, goverment could step in and play havoc at any time). The libertarian in me wants to cry foul, but not knowing further circumstances really limits the scope of the arguments.

Come on in, bring your own water though.

The Mexican government is distributing a comic-book guide that warns would-be migrants about the perils of crossing illegally into the United States and offers tips to stay safe -- enraging some advocates of stricter immigration policies in the United States who argue the booklet encourages illegal migration.

About 1.5 million copies of the pocket-size book titled "Guide for the Mexican Immigrant" were published by Mexico's Foreign Relations Department and distributed as a free supplement in comic books popular with adults that are sold throughout the country. The booklets are also available online and at Mexican consulates in the United States.

The booklet, which officials began distributing last month, explains the safest way to enter the United States is with a U.S. visa and a Mexican passport. But it also offers tips on avoiding serious injury or death to those who have decided to cross illegally.

Critics argue the tips serve more as instructions on how to cross illegally than as a deterrent to would-be migrants.

Every year, hundreds of migrants die in the desert, where temperatures soar above 100 degrees Fahrenheit in summer, and many drown while attempting to cross the Rio Grande. In the fiscal year that ended Sept. 30, there were 325 migrant deaths along the entire U.S.-Mexican border, according to the U.S Customs and Border Protection Bureau.

You know, unless you are Native American, you didn't just pop up here. You came here. However, when the country formed, it made rules. Rules are there for a reason. Choose to ignore those rules at your own peril. Now, there will be humanitarian groups that choose to ignore legality in the name of humanity. That doesn't sit well with me.

I've always liked the saying "If you do the crime, you do the time". If you try to sneak into a country and die trying, well, that is the price you paid for your actions. The US is nice. They will detain you and send you back. Other countries aren't so nice. You will get sent back in a wooden box. You just don't hear many stories concerning people sneaking INTO other countries like the US.

To put a humorous spin on things, the guys at SomethingAwful.com used the Mexican comic book in their Photoshop Phriday article. A fun bit of manipulation indeed.

Obligatory friday gun pr0n!

M82A1 kneeling shot video. Ah, .50 cal goodness!

Gone the way of Milli Vanilli

Ashley Simpson gets booed at the Orange Bowl for a horrendous performance. Maybe she should stick to lip synching.

No glove, no love.

The consumers group best known for rating cars and washing machines has turned its testing prowess to condoms to find out which ones measure up best and how other birth control methods compare.

The nonprofit Consumers Union says in a new guide to contraception that the seven top types of condom they studied did not burst despite vigorous testing, and all models met international standards.

But results showed that the top brand, able to take the most punishment, was the Durex Extra Sensitive Lubricated Latex, according to the report.

Other top-performers include the Durex Performax Lubricated, Lifestyles Classic Collection Ultra Sensitive Lubricated and TheyFit Lubricated.

A melon-colored model distributed by Planned Parenthood performed the worst, bursting during a test in which the latex condoms were filled with air.

"You end up with a balloon 3 feet tall and a foot wide. They can really stretch an amazing amount," Metcalf said in a telephone interview.

No wonder women think size matters. What is sad is that Planned Parenthood, an organization charged with education of children concerning sexual matters, comes in last in testing. Those are the condoms you don't want to break, because the people that pick them up from PP will darn sure try to use them. Kids will be kids, and unless you had a strict, religious, or repressed upbringing, then you pobably experimented with sex in your youth. Do us all a favor, unless you want to be a grandparent, educate the offspring about offspring, m'kay?

The UN thinks the US is stingy.

"The United States, at the president's direction, will be a leading partner in one of the most significant relief, rescue and recovery challenges that the world has ever known," said White House deputy press secretary Trent Duffy.

But U.N. Undersecretary-General for Humanitarian Affairs Jan Egeland suggested that the United States and other Western nations were being "stingy" with relief funds, saying there would be more available if taxes were raised.

"It is beyond me why are we so stingy, really," the Norwegian-born U.N. official told reporters. "Christmastime should remind many Western countries at least, [of] how rich we have become."

"There are several donors who are less generous than before in a growing world economy," he said, adding that politicians in the United States and Europe "believe that they are really burdening the taxpayers too much, and the taxpayers want to give less. It's not true. They want to give more."

In response to Mr. Egeland's comments, Mr. Duffy pointed out that the United States is "the largest contributor to international relief and aid efforts, not only through the government, but through charitable organizations. The American people are very giving."

Why should it be the government that has to donate all of that money in a free society? That is what those socialist f*ckheads at the UN don't understand. In a free society, people give when they want to. Oh yeah, BTW, the US got hit with some major shit this past year. I don't remember the UN rushing aid to help us.

So far, hundreds of millions of dollars in PRIVATE donations have come forth. The US government shouldn't have to chip in a dime more, but they are. They are also providing the support of a carrier group as well. That is a lot of logistical capability, free. Perhaps the US should take the funding it give the UN and channel it straight to the relief effort. Let's see what sort of mood it puts the UN in. Probably foul after their oil-for-food program got shafted.

What goes up, must come down.

Fla. Man Killed By Stray Bullet During New Year's Celebration
An elderly man was killed when a bullet from a high-powered rifle fell from the night sky and hit him in the chest, the result of the New Year's Eve practice of firing guns into the air, officials said.

Henry McDaniel, 75, was walking in a neighborhood near Orlando on Friday just before midnight when he collapsed in the street, witnesses and sheriff's officials said. He had been at a party celebrating the New Year with friends and had decided to visit another house.

Before he collapsed, McDaniel told friends who were standing with him near the street: "Boys, something hit me. Something hit me."

Doctors at Orlando Regional Medical Center later discovered the bullet, which struck his heart.

Officials blamed the death on a common but illegal practice by New Year's Eve revelers to shoot into the air, a tradition that is usually harmless, said Orange County sheriff's spokeswoman Crystal Candy.

"For some idiot to shoot a rifle into the air is crazy," said Dale Mayo, a friend of McDaniel who was at the party.

McDaniel, a Georgia native who moved to the Orlando area in 1951, was described by many neighbors as a father figure.

"You couldn't find a nicer guy," Mayo said. "He'd give you the shirt off his back."

There are far too many people that possess weapons with little to no regard for safety. Sure, at one point, everyone can take unsafe actions or be negligent. However, when handling a firearm you have to try and keep the four rules in your head at all time. Firing into the air is a clear violation of rule 4, Be Sure Of Your Target.
Fireworks, on the other hand, are generally considered safe, because what comes down after detonation usually isn't much more than paper scraps. However, this does not always hold true. When I was around eight, we lived in a small, relatively poor white part of the community. Ghettos are the same all over the world. So, yards were small, houses were small, people were packed tight onto small streets. Well, I had a small rocket left over from a bag of fireworks brought back from a Carolinas visit. One day in the summer, my mom and I decided to fire it off. Well, being young and cowardly, I fired it off and ran. It went high. Very high. Too high for that neighborhood. BOOOOOOOOOM! Too loud, much too loud. Run inside with mom. A day later, a friend from down the street brought me the remains. An almost intact rocket fell in their yard. If it would have hit them, it would have hurt. Put an eye out easily.
Just remember, what goes up, must come down. If you have no control going up, you will not have control going down. Safety.

When an officer tells you...

... to do something for the third time, I suggest that you comply with him, or you'll get it again.

Happy New Year

May all your wishes come true and your resolutions hold strong.