Answering the age old question... (Probably NSFW)

Is it the size of the Hard drive or is it the way that you router?

Giving the phrase "Have it your way" new meaning...

A name like Ronald MacDonald might have raised suspicion from the start for a Wendy's employee.

MacDonald, 22, no relation to the red-haired clown at the centre of McDonald's advertising campaign, has been charged with stealing from a safe at the Wendy's restaurant where he worked.

The restaurant manager said he found MacDonald and another employee taking the money at about 1:30 a.m. Monday.

If you can't control what your kids see, Sony can help.

Sony Corp has become the latest of the video game console makers to announce parental controls in it newest machine, according to the Entertainment Software Association.

Now, all three major console makers are promising parents the means to help restrict their children's access to violent video games.

Sony will place the controls on its forthcoming machine, PlayStation 3, according to the ESA. Users of PlayStation 2 could limit access, but only to movies, not games.

Microsoft Corp. had already placed parental controls in its new Xbox 360, which debuted last week. The machine lets users restrict access to video games and DVDs that carry certain ratings, such as "T" for "teen" or "M" for "mature." It also offers parental controls on the company's Xbox Live online gaming service, limiting who their children can interact with.

Offering tools to control content viewing is better than having someone telling you what content you can view. Of course, this all goes out the window if the parent/guardian doesn't care to set up the controls or if their kid plays the objectional game at someone else's house.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Stay safe, be careful, get stuffed! I'm outta here until next week.


EDIT: Wait, I can't leave yet....not without...

Friday FIREPOWER!

yeh, yeh, it's Thursday. Sue me. :P

• Anyways, what arsenal is complete without the Bloom Automatic Golf Ball Launcher?
  

  Those grenade launcher attachments on your Yugo SKS 59/66 are cool looking but what can you really DO with them? A lot of the guys here at Surplusrifle.com are removing them and replacing them with much better looking and even somewhat functional brakes and flash hiders but what if you could actually have some fun with the original muzzle launcher?
  
  Bloom Automatic has the answer with its line of big time fun grenade launcher attachments specifically designed to launch Golf Balls from your 22mm flash hider or muzzle launcher. The Bloom Automatic Golf Ball Launcher easily attaches in seconds to your standard Yugo SKS 59/66, AR-15, FAL, CETME/G3, and MAS 49/56. Other rifles with a 22mm flash hider or muzzle brake will work as well. The launcher uses dog point set screws to lock into the groove, or grooves, on the flash hider/grenade launcher. Unlike cup point set screws, these do not bite into the metal and should not cause any marring of the finish. It didn't on mine during testing so I think it's good to go. Complete and well detailed instructions are included with the kit.
  
  The BATF & Boom has ruled that these launchers are NOT considered firearms or destructive devices after considerable head scratching on their part. If you have questions please feel free to contact Vince Bloom at bloomautomatic@yahoo.com for more info.



• Three Simultaneous Headshots
  

  The soldiers had been told that the house was a being used as a base by insurgents - and up to three suicide bombers were expected to leave it later that morning.
  
  The plan for Operation Marlborough was simple: allow the three suspected bombers to leave the house and get into the street, then kill them with head shots from the four sniper teams. Each team was equipped with L115A .338 sniper rifles, capable of killing at up to 1,000 yards.
  
  As the terrorists entered the street, a volley of shots rang out and the three insurgents slumped to the ground.
  
  Each terrorist had been killed by a single head shot - the snipers having spent the past few days rehearsing the ambush in minute detail.
  
  The SAS troopers had been warned that only a direct head shot would guarantee that bombs would not be detonated.
  
  Only three of the four snipers fired, the fourth was to act as a back-up in case one of the weapons jammed or a sniper lost sight of his target.


[eric cartman]
KICK ASS!
[/eric cartman]

Setting aside a time to get together...

Employers be warned: UK workers who schedule Wednesday meetings are potentially going to a job interview and regular Friday afternoon meetings could be an excuse for a rendezvous with their lover.

A survey of 167 companies revealed a growing trend of so-called "me me meetings," out-of-office meetings used to cover a more personal encounter.

The poll, by Genesys Conferencing, showed 81 percent of office workers admitted arranging meetings to fit in with personal activities.

It also showed that over half of their colleagues were suspicious of the motives behind the meetings for which many of their workmates left the office.

Genesys said the most popular reason for a "me me meeting" was to get away early for the weekend.

But the survey also showed Friday afternoons were the best for meeting lovers or to go shopping. Monday mornings were the most popular time for scheduling a meeting to mask looking after the children and Wednesdays were the preferred time for job interviews.

Around here, going out for a job interview is affectionately known as a dentist appointment. When I first started working here, many moons ago, there was a member of the team who came in dressed rather nicely for an era before business casual. That team member went out early one day for a dentist appointment. The next week, another appointment. The week after that, a two-week notice was rendered. Coincidence?

Anyways, I have to schedule a meeting every Wednesday. Because of Outlook's calendar functionality, if I don't block out the time, I'd never be able to head out to lunch with the La Nop Bunch.

Religious philosophy and more...

You are a Self-Discoverer

You're not religious, but you've created your own kind of spirituality. Introspective and thoughtful, you tend to look inward for the divine. You are distrusting of all forms of organized religion. You especially dislike religious gurus and leaders, who you feel are charlatans.

What's Your Religious Philosophy?

Normally, I don't pay too much attention to these quizzes. However, this short one seems to be spot on. Curious.

EDIT: Preach on. "Yo butt ain't made for that".

Ready, Set, Mow?

On his command the drivers run to their mowers and start them with a racket that sounds like exactly what it is — a field full of souped-up riding lawn mowers tearing around a dirt track outside Max Blob's Bavarian Biergarten.

It's another day at the lawn mower races at Blob's Park, where driveway mechanics, gear heads and speed freaks of all description dedicate themselves to the proposition that anything with an engine can, and should, be made to go faster than it was intended to go.

One race has to be restarted after the No. 44 mower pulls a wheelie off the line that ends with the driver on his back and front wheels pointed to the sky. The drivers don't seem to mind, though, as they help to right it. The crashes and spills are just part of the sport's rebellious fun.

Not everyone sees it that way.

The Outdoor Power Equipment Institute, an industry group representing the companies who manufacture mowers, has consistently taken a position against the races.

"We don't think it is in the spirit of our association, which is to promote safety," said Bill Harley, president and CEO of OPEI. "They're made to cut lawns."

So far, at least, that's kept some major potential sponsors away from the races. U.S. Lawn Mower Racing Association President Bruce Kaufman would love to have the money. He says it wouldn't change the sport.

"We don't race for money," he said. "We race for trophies, we race for glory and we race for bragging rights. For 15 years it's been rock and mow."

For some reason "Hey Ya'll, watch this" just doesn't cut it anymore. :P

Misc. Friday Ramblings...

"If you're being mugged by a couple of clowns, don't hesitate; go for the juggler."

• It's Photoshop Phriday!
  Condomania!


• PBF comics.
  Some of the funniest comics I've read in quite some time.


• Hops in beer may be healthy.
  Alas, more rednecks would be alive today if it wasn't for "Hey Ya'll, Watch This!"


• 'Cool mom' gets 30 years for sex parties.
  
  Old and busted.


• 37 year-old teacher marries 15 year-old student.
  
  New Hotness


• Woman dies after ants eat her eye.
  Lasik via Amdro?


• 'Baywatch' Babe Breaks Neck In Diving Accident.
  Mystery muff is still wanted for questioning.


• Fla. Senator Wants Pink DUI License Plates
  

  Sen. Mike Fasano, of New Port Richey, filed a bill earlier this month that requires the first three characters on the plate to read "DUI."
  
  "Maybe it will embarrass people and keep them from drinking and driving," Fasano said. "Maybe they'll think twice."
  
  The bill also says police "may stop any vehicle that bears a DUI plate without probable cause to check the driver."
  
  "It is another attempt to isolate people, point them out and make them subject to ridicule and harassment from peers and other drivers," ACLU spokesman Dean Richards told Local 6 News.

  Well, I'd be inclined to want some sort of indicator that the person driving on the road next to me has been a menace at one time or another. If we are supposed to be driving defensively, how can we without all of the available information we can get about others? Still, too many loopholes. You're tagging the car, not the person. Also, if they have paid their debt to society, why call them out. I guess with the sex-offenders list being so popular, it'd only be a matter of time before everyone's dirty affairs label them.


• New Rules for Life:
  
  • Lose that pop-up ad for Classmates.com! There's a reason you don't talk to people for 25 years. Because you don't particularly like them! Besides, I already know what the captain of the football team is doing these days: mowing my lawn.
  
  
  • Stop saying that teenage boys who have sex with their hot, blond teachers are permanently damaged. I have a better description for these kids: lucky.
  
  
  • Ladies, leave your eyebrows alone. Here's how much men care about your eyebrows: do you have two of them? Okay, we're done.
  
  
  • New Rule: There's no such thing as flavored water. There's a whole aisle of this crap at the supermarket. Sorry, but flavored water is called a soft drink. You want flavored water? Pour some scotch over ice and let it melt. That's your flavored water.
  
  
  • The more complicated the Starbucks order, the bigger the moron. If you walk into a Starbucks and order a "decaf grande half-soy, half-low fat, iced vanilla, double-shot, gingerbread cappuccino, extra dry, light ice, with one Sweet-n'-Low and one NutraSweet," ooh, you're a huge moron.
  
  
  • If you're going to insist on making movies based on crappy, old television shows, then you have to give everyone in the Cineplex a remote so we can see what's playing on the other screens. Let's remember the reason something was a television show in the first place is the idea wasn't good enough to be a movie.
  
  
  • No more gift registries. You know, it used to be just for weddings. Now it's for babies and new homes and graduations from rehab. Picking up the stuff you want and having other people buy it for you isn't gift giving, it's looting.
  
  
  • When I ask how old your toddler is, I don't need to know in months. "27 Months." "He's two," will do just fine. He's not a cheese. And I didn't really care in the first place.

Friday FIREPOWER!

• Thermobaric weaponry, man portable kickass.
  

  This is a version of the standard USMC Shoulder Mounted Assault Weapon but with a new warhead. Described as NE - "Novel Explosive"- it is a thermobaric mixture which ignites the air, producing a shockwave of unparalleled destructive power, especially against buildings.



• Make your own "Spaceballs: the flamethrower".
  It's a hit with all the kids. Thanks Rez.


• ''Growler'' officially a new name in anti-radar warfare aircraft.
  

  About 30 names, including “Shocker,” “Demon ” and “Gator,” also were considered, said Chuck Wagner, a spokesman for the Naval Air Systems Command.

  
  College Humor unavailable for commentary.

You can't say that here.

"What's a bong?" Stephen asks. This from a man who also has a teen-aged daughter. Very strong on a financial analysis of any kind in any industry, but a bit behind the curve when it comes to one of the main fuel sources of popular culture.

A bong is a super-chargable means of smoking dope, Stephen. A bong is...."

"You can't say that here or I'll have to throw you out of the store," says a stern voice from the front.

Slowly I turned.

"I beg your pardon?"

It's the clerk who is glaring at us from behind the counter. "I said you can't use the B-word in here. They are "waterpipes."

"I'm sorry but I'm still not getting this. Are you saying that one cannot call a bong a bong?"

"Yes. It is store policy. Nobody in here is allowed to use that word in talking about these waterpipes."

Social intercourse is such a lost art nowadays. "I don't make the rules" and "It's just the way it is" are all too much the norm. Then again, some folks do have way too much time on their hands. Plus, you don't go to "bang you in the ass" prison for selling waterpipes, but you do for bongs. Hat tip to Rez for this one.

The Scripts of Babylon5

FIRST TIME EVER AVAILABLE

• A total of fifteen volumes containing all 92 Babylon 5 episodic scripts plus two B5 TV movies written by J. Michael Straczynski, each averaging more than 400 pages.


• An average of 7 scripts per volume.


• An extensive introduction written exclusively by JMS for each volume of this collection, detailing the inner workings of the cast, crew and studio, and including his thoughtful, revealing and deeply personal episode-by-episode commentaries, which provide a rare and uncensored glimpse into the behind-the-scenes world of Babylon 5. Nothing is held back.


• Each volume also contains memos written by JMS during production on Babylon 5. These never-seen-before memos cover every aspect involved in creating the Babylon 5 universe, from casting to sets, prosthetics, wardrobe, photography, the science behind the creative decisions and the history of the various races and species. These previously-classified memos provide a fascinating perspective on the show as it was being created.


• Most volumes also contain candid, behind-the-scenes B&W photos of cast and crew taken by Straczynski, drawn from his personal archives, seen here for the first time.


• Lost and alternate drafts of scripts, including (in volume one) the original pilot script for “The Gathering” used to sell the series, but which was not used as the production draft...a draft radically different from the one that was finally shot and aired.


• Much more than a script compilation; it is the story behind the making of the Babylon 5 series, told from the inside.

The current terror level.

RIP, Latino Heat...

A World Wrestling Entertainment, Inc., wrestler was found dead in his hotel room in Minneapolis on Sunday morning, according to the WWE Web site.

Eddie Guerrero was scheduled to appear Sunday night in a WWE Supershow at Target Center.

The Hennepin County Medical Examiner was called to the scene at the Minneapolis Marriott City Center. Authorities had not released any information on his death.

Guerrero was a featured star on the UPN series "WWE Smackdown!" and son of Mexican wrestler Gory Guerrero.

Guerrero, who was born in 1967, is survived by his wife Vickie and his two daughters, the site said.

In honor of those who served...

Thank you.

Wasabi chased with Cold Water

• Birthing a green puppy named Wasabi.
  Awwwww, how cute. Where are the eggs and ham?


• Cold water (NSFW)
  Looks a titty bit nipply out.

They're called African killer bees for a reason.

A South African woman was killed by hundreds of thousands of enraged bees after her vehicle hit an electricity substation that contained their hive, an emergency services group said on Tuesday.
"The car crashed into an electrical substation in Johannesburg which housed a bee hive. It was 10 years old and had in excess of a million bees and they just went wild," said Paul Nel, spokesman for Netcare 911, a private paramedic and ambulance service.
"The people managed to stumble out of the car but they were just overcome by bees," he said.

Hmmm. I can go with the Eddie Izzard response: "Covered in beeeeeeeeeeeezzzzzz".
Or perhaps, the cynical bastard response: "Ah, and I see the next installment of Final Destination has wrapped up principle".
No, I think I'll go with the Tommy Boy bees reference.

Taking one...er, two for the team...er, part two.

A weekend bar brawl involving a cheerleader for the Carolina Panthers has sparked charges and questions over an apparent mistaken identity.

Panther cheerleader Angela Keathley, 26, and another woman whose identity remains a mystery to police face charges for a bar brawl at Banana Joe's in Tampa, Fla., early Sunday. Police arrested Keathley and another woman who identified herself as fellow cheerleader Kristen Owen after authorities said they got into an argument in the bathroom at the bar.

Police said the woman who identified herself as Owen gave the authorities the cheerleader's address. But according to her parents, Owen — a first-year cheerleader and recent college graduate —was not even in Florida at the time of the altercation.

"She was out of town in Columbia, South Carolina, at a wedding," Renee Owen, Kristen's mother, told ABC News affiliate WFTS in Tampa. "She did not go to Tampa this weekend."

The events that led to the arrests began when bar patrons complained that two women were engaging in sex and tying up a bathroom stall. Police said "Owen" punched Keathley in the face and was charged with battery. Keathly was charged with disorderly conduct and resisting arrest.

"There had been a physical altercation between one lady and another bar patron, all over the use of a stall or something that happened in the bathroom," said Tampa Police Lt. John Newman. "According to the report, there was quote, unquote some sort of sexual activity going on in the stall."

Authorities first learned that the woman was not really Owen after she posted bond. Police said they will try to identify the mystery woman with fingerprints and help from the NFL today.

Aw come on. You know what we all want to see, a threesome!

Taking one...er, two for the team.

Two Carolina Panthers cheerleaders were arrested early Sunday morning at a Tampa nightclub after an incident that reportedly began with the two of them having sex.

The Charlotte Observer reported that according to a police report, Kristen Owen, 22 and Angela Keathley, 26, were arrested after an incident at Banana Joe's in the city's Channelside district. One cheerleader was charged with battery, the other with disorderly conduct and resisting arrest.

According to the Observer, the police report claims the two cheerleaders were having sex with each other in a stall at the bar when other patrons got angry they were taking so long in the bathroom. Owen and another person started arguing and Owen hit that person in the face, according to the report.

The below two cheerleaders having sex in a bar's bathroom....RAH.

Misc. Friday Ramblings...

Cold November Rain

• It's Photoshop Phriday!
  Honesty in game titles.


• If your parents go on Dr. Phil...
  ...please don't let them talk about their oral sex life.


• Man Kills Buck With Bare Hands in Bedroom
  Must be the only person in Arkansas without a shotgun.


• The true meaning of "Mile High City".
  I hear there is a club, too. >:)


• This chick takes penetration all the way up to her breasts.
  Ah Fark, headlines a plenty.


• Trick or *BLAM*
  Talk about getting lead instead of coal.


• Tyra Banks "knows" what it is like to be fat.
  At the end of the day, though, she can take her fat off.


• Man sits on toilet, ends up in sticky situation.
  And I thought with the AIDS scare of the 80's, people learned to check the seat before sitting on it.

Friday FIREPOWER!

• The XM8 (OICW Increment 1) is dead.
  

  The purpose of this Amendment is to CANCEL Solicitation W15QKN-05-R-0449, OICW Increment One.
  
  This action has been taken in order for the Army to reevaluate its priorites for small caliber weapons, and to incorporate emerging requirements identified during Operation Enduring Freedom and Operation Iraqi Freedom. The Government will also incorporate studies looking into current capability gaps during said reevaluation.



• Mobile Tactical High-Energy Laser.
  

  High-energy lasers are the only systems proven effective against small, late detection threats such as artillery rockets. Offering accuracy and lethality, this speed-of-light capability promises to transform the battlefield. Northrop Grumman is now developing a mobile variant of the Tactical High Energy Laser (THEL) that destroyed artillery rockets and shells in testing.
  
  A Mobile THEL will allow warfighters to defend against advanced, widely-proliferating threats such as unmanned aerial vehicles, short-range ballistic and cruise missiles, and air-to-surface munitions.



• MTHEL eliminates mortar rounds in flight.
  

  The Tactical High Energy Laser, built by Northrop Grumman Corporation for the U.S. Army, shot down multiple mortar rounds Aug. 24, proving that laser weapons could be applied on the battlefield to protect against common threats.
  
  In tests representative of actual mortar threat scenarios, the THEL testbed destroyed both single mortar rounds and mortar rounds fired in a salvo at White Sands Missile Range, N.M.



• The FN products are coming!
  Get those checkbooks ready, because the PS90 and the FS2000 are almost here.

Two all beef panties, special sauce, let us cheese...

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - Quaker Maid Meats Inc. on Tuesday said it would voluntarily recall 94,400 pounds of frozen ground beef panties that may be contaminated with E. coli.

The beef products were produced by Reading, Pennsylvania-based Quaker on July 19 and shipped to retail stores in Connecticut, Florida, Georgia, Maine, Maryland, Massachusetts, New Jersey, New York, Pennsylvania, South Carolina, Virginia and Wisconsin.

The beef products have an establishment code of "Est 2748" inside the USDA mark of inspection. A Quaker official could not be reached on the recall.

E. coli O157:H7 is a deadly bacteria that can cause diarrhea and dehydration. Children, the elderly and people with weak immune systems are most susceptible.

Hmmmm, someone has been watching a weeee bit too much of Cheaper by the Dozen on Starz.

Thought for today.

The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
- Unknown

It helps if the safety is off...

A home-invasion robber died after struggling with the couple whose window he had kicked in.

Shelly Laughman, 36, said she tried to lock the front door after the 44-year-old suspect punched it Sunday night, but the man, whose name was not immediately released, kicked in a plastic window and clawed in.

"He had a crazy look in his eyes," she said, "and he mumbled something that sounded like I'm not here to hurt you."

She screamed for her sleeping husband, Paul, 52. He wrestled with the man while his wife called police and retrieved a shotgun.

With the gun pointed at him, the man was released and told to leave, but the couple said he rushed again. Shelly Laughman aimed the shotgun and pulled the trigger, but it didn't fire because the safety was still on.

Eventually, Paul Laughman and a neighbor subdued the man again and police arrived.

The man continued to fight with officers, and collapsed while being walked to a patrol car.

Police said they tried to resuscitate the man and called rescue workers, but he was pronounced dead at Halifax Medical Center.

"No weapon of any kind was used by police," said police Lt. C.H. Fordham at the scene.

The Florida Department of Law Enforcement will investigate the cause of death.

"I have no idea why he picked our yard," Shelly Laughman said. "That guy could've killed us, and I would've killed him if I could get that safety off."

The body, under stress, reacts as it has been trained. A little something called muscle memory. If she would have gotten used to the shotgun before this situation, then she would have instinctively been able to thumb the safety off and fire. It did work out in the end, and she is left without a nasty cleaning bill.