XKCD explains the base metaphor

Unemployed pirates looking for work

From KTLA:

Disneyland management has fired the four actors who played pirate Jack Sparrow because officials were worried about young female park-goers flashing the swashbuckling actors late at night, according to one former cast member.

"They lost control when they saw Jack Sparrow," said former pirate Brandon Pinto, who left the role after a dispute with management a year ago. "This is a sexy, rock-star pirate."

The pirate actors said they were told they were no longer needed at about the same time that additional fairies were added to the park's cast, presumably to promote Disney's new movie "Tinkerbell."

Disneyland officials confirmed that the pirate was indeed fired (due to declining relevance and diminishing visitor requests), but flatly denied published reports that the dismissal had anything to do with female fans flashing their breasts at the swashbuckling actors who portray Jack Sparrow at the Anaheim theme park.

At least they didn't work near Flash...er, Splash Mountain.

Resort goes nude to combat downturn

From Stuff:

An Australian holiday resort will hold a month-long, nude "anything goes" party to combat an expected economic downturn.

"Tough economic times call for stiff measures," Tony Fox, the owner of the White Cockatoo resort in Mossman, in tropical Queensland state, told the Courier-Mail newspaper.

"It will be a hedonism resort, where anything goes for a month. It doesn't take rocket science to work out what it means," Fox said, naming March as the risque party month.

Stiff measures indeed...

Sex Sells

Train them young, train them right

An Important Lesson on Boobs - Watch more free videos

I've heard of bats in the belfry, but this is a new one.

From the Telegraph:

Teenager finds baby bat in her bra

Abbie Hawkins, a hotel receptionist, thought her mobile phone was ringing when she felt vibrations coming from her clothes.

But she later discovered the tiny creature tucked away in the padded pocket of her underwear.

As staff and colleagues crowded around, Miss Hawkins, 19, produced the frightened bat, which was the size of her hand.

"I keep thinking how could I have not known it was there?" Miss Hawkins said. "I will certainly be checking my bras every morning from now on."

Jaime Eastham, of the Bat Conservation Trust, said they had never heard of a bat being found in a bra before.

But she said the animals roost anywhere that appears dark and safe.

Dark and safe indeed.

Essential Life Saving Apparatus

From Rocky Mountain News:

Stuck, lost and hobbled in the German Alps, a quick-thinking Colorado Springs woman hooked her bra to a mountain-side supply line and alerted rescuers to her whereabouts just as they were giving up the search.

"We're going to have a party for her every June 19, and give her some new bras," Elana Bruinsma, said this morning of her sister, Jessica Bruinsma, 24.

The 36-DD sports bra has become the talk of the Berchtesgaden area of Germany near the Austria border.

"It certainly beats sending up a flare," one rescue worker told Backpacker magazine. "She hadn't been wearing much when she started on her walk and she ended up with even less on."

A worker on the timber cable in the region alerted police when he found Bruinsma's bra hooked to the cable.

"She'd gone for a walk last Sunday night and didn't come back," Elana said.

"I talked to her yesterday. She said she'd kind of gotten lost that first day and then she tried to climb down something and fell 20 feet.

She noticed a supply carrier that ran down the mountain, but for two days it never moved.

It rained hard the second night she was stuck on the crag, "so she'd taken off her clothes to let them dry," Elana said. "She was going to use her bra for a sling because she'd dislocated her shoulder."

But then, the supply line began to move, and she got an idea.

"I asked her if she could have gotten in it, but she said it wasn't big enough for that."

So, Jessica attached the bra to the supply line and hoped for the best. She told rescuers she hung out on the crag, drank water and ate biscuits.

After the worker spotted it and alerted police, rescuers changed their area of focus and reached her in a matter of hours.

And make sure you have the other survival bra as well...

Ashamed of your gaming habit?

From Gamespot UK:

Portland psychiatrist Dr. Jerald Block specialises in treating those who have a massively multiplayer online game problem.

In an interview with the Boston Globe, Block added to the argument that he put forward in an editorial in the American Journal of Psychiatry that 'Internet Addiction' should be a recognised term.

The good doctor believes that his clients are more ashamed of playing World of Warcraft than looking at pornographic images. He said, "Some people come in for trouble with Internet porn. But the computer gamers tend to be harder to treat. People feel a lot of shame around computer games. Whereas, it's socially acceptable to have a porn problem."

Regular Joes and many psychiatrists just don't understand the complex world of games or the jargon that goes with them, says Block. The struggle to reach level 70 is not understood, nor is being a member of a guild, or the mundanity of grinding.

He gave the example of a client who was a regular player of massively multiplayer online game EVE Online, and who after playing for years, had built up around $17,000 of virtual assets. Then another player took out a virtual contract on his life, and his character and assets were lost. Block said, "How does he describe that experience and have any of his friends understand it? It's so bizarre and otherworldly. In fact, it's so bizarre that many therapists don't want to go there."

So, excatly who is ashamed of looking at porn?

Always police your brass...

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Rachel Ray: Sex Educator

Headphones please....

Wii Fit: Best Game EVAH!!!

Wii Fit: The Greatest Game Of All Time - Watch more free videos

Women: The Hot/Crazy scale

Not your average summer camp

http://www.tampabays10.com/news/local/article.aspx?storyid=77013

It’s a first according to the organizer. This weekend you can learn all about filming, lighting and sound recording from adult film star, producer and director Courtney Cummz as well as other industry insiders all in one place.

Registration for the Porn Camp Seminars was already limited for the gathering according to Tampa Bay based attorney, Brandon Kolb, who's organizing the event. He says they are only able to accommodate between 12 and 20 people. Those people are already signed up.

Brandon Kolb says they got a lot more interest in the event than they expected and are only interested in working with people who are serious about learning more about the porn industry. He refuses to release details on where the event is being held for that reason.

A website about the event lists the different subjects to be discussed during the lectures and workshops that are set to take place Friday, Saturday and Sunday. Subjects to be covered include how to form a production company, laws and regulations, production agreements, booking talent, set preparation, editing, maximizing content, promoting your company and web based marketing.

Participants can learn more about getting a national distributor and can even get reviews of their films at the event.

Attorney Brandon Kolb will talk to participants about legal issues like production agreements, liability and insurance issues.

Kolb has received calls from as far away as England about the event. He says they will definitely hold another porn camp seminar soon that can accommodate more people.

One time, at porno camp...

Breast massage robot

http://gizmodo.com/360406/breast-massage-robot-is-the-future-of-breast-massages

Prepare yourselves, dear readers, for the greatest invention of the 21st century so far: the Breast Massage Robot. Yes, this miracle of modern science is designed for all sorts of women, from "girls who are reaching or having reached puberty, hope to improve the growth of breast" to "women who want to improve the quality of their sex activities" to "women who want to have pretty breasts." And it only gets better from there.

The device is the brainchild of one Mr. Wang Wei, founder and proprietor of Beijing BUBBY Robot Technologies CO., LTD. His business proposal for the Breast Massage Robot is the best thing I've ever read in my entire life.

There needs to be a robot for this?!?!?!? Bring me the legal-aged b00bies! Better yet, do it yourself.

Best slow motion balloon pop so far...

Best Slow Motion Balloon Pop Ever - Watch more free videos

Gadgets on display at the SHOT show.

The Super Bowl wasn't the only testosterone fest this Sunday as one of the largest gun shows in the country, SHOT, visited Las Vegas. Check out automatic rifles, fiber-optic sights, designer pepper spray and more as we transport you to survivalist paradise.

Nice Gadgets indeed.



Actually, for a good pictorial without the fluff, check out Gunblast's coverage of the SHOT show.

Internet Rule 34 in real life. NSFW

Inspired by comic book and anime art, and crafted using cutting edge materials, these posable silicone dolls are designed with fun in mind. Boy Toy Dolls are lightweight, easy to maintain, and made of an exclusive, all new silicone material. They have features that cannot be found on any other doll in the world.

And yes, of course, they are anatomically correct!

Hand crafted by the creator of RealDoll, through a new sister company of Abyss Creations, Phoenix Studios, these dolls will only be available as limited editions. Each Boy Toy is named after a month, and the quantity of each doll that will be made will be equal to the number of days in that month. There will only be 31 Miss December dolls, 31 Miss January, etc. These are extremely limited quantities, and each doll will be hand detailed by Matt McMullen and include a signed and numbered certificate of authenticity.

Internet rule 34 roughly states that if it is in cartoon form, then there is porn of it. Follow the link to see the NSFW site and pictures of the "girls".

Here's looking at you kid:


Go ahead, stick you weiner in:

Your man playing video games too much?

Use your persuasion, courtesy of CTRLALTDEL-ONLINE.COM.

Taking the jiggle out of jogging

As most women would attest, it is almost impossible to take the jiggling out of jogging.

Even the most expensive sports bras can fail to stop the painful bouncing which leads to long-term damage.

But now scientists claim to have found a way to make the perfect scaffolding for every woman's set.

They have developed an "intelligent fabric" to use when testing bra designs in the lab.

Fitted with tiny sensors, the fabric will monitor and measure even the smallest movement in the breast.

This means that manufacturers can better stop the wobble - and also prevent their designs from adding to the problem.

If you take out the jiggle, what fun will it be watching the runners on the river walk outside my building at lunch.

Still, want to see what a jiggling set looks like, run the Shock Absorber Simulation.